Page 20 of The Love Bus

IGNORANCE AND BLISS

T he Alpine Visitor Center, cozy and warm, was as much of a refuge as it was a destination. Some of the more determined travelers tried taking pictures outside, but thanks to what I’d learned was referred to as a summer blizzard, there wasn’t much to capture.

I was happy enough sipping on a cup of hot tea that burned my hands in a good way, buying a few postcards, and taking advantage of the facilities.

By the time I was ready to head back to the bus, I was warm enough—and embarrassed enough—that I didn’t seek Noah out.

I tugged my jacket tighter around me, braced myself for the cold, and stepped outside, racing for the bus.

I was lucky that Joey was watching and waiting for me.

When the door opened with a mechanical hiss, I leapt inside and immediately began stomping my feet to get the snow off.

There were clumps of it wedged under my poor sandals.

At this rate, I’d be lucky to make it through this tour without losing any toes.

Before turning to march down the aisle, I met Joey’s eyes, registering in that brief second that I was the first one back from the visitor’s center.

And because I seemed to have lost the ability to filter myself, I asked the question I’d had since Tay first introduced him.

“Have you really been driving tour busses over these mountains for three years?”

His eyes widened, and then darted around, both of his hands fidgeting on the steering wheel.

“Tay’s still inside,” I reassured him.

His expression turned sheepish as he leaned toward me. “I’ve been with the company for three years,” he answered. But that wasn’t what I asked.

“You’ve been driving these buses over these mountains for three years?

” I used the big sister-slash-mom voice I’d learned from Ashley over the years, the do not even try to bullshit me right now voice.

Considering how rarely I had cause to practice it, it was surprisingly effective against our prepubescent bus driver.

“Not…exactly.” His voice was so quiet I almost missed it.

“So…you aren’t really familiar with these roads?”

He just shrugged, offering a half-smile that unsettled my nerves. “I know what I’m doing.”

“Joey,” I pressed, crossing my arms. “What kind of experience do you have exactly?” Why was I asking this? Did I really want to know?

His shoulders sagged. “I just got my CDL,” he said finally. “Up until now, I’ve been doing airport transfers, mostly.”

I blinked. “Driving buses?”

He made a face, his lips twisting in mild discomfort. “Vans?” he admitted. “But I’ve never even gotten a ticket. And…it only took me three tries to pass the skills test!”

Sweet baby carrots.

“I’ve gotten us this far, haven’t I?” he added, his voice only squeaking a little at the tail end.

“Well, yeah.” I couldn’t exactly argue with that. Besides, what was I going to do—drive the bus myself? In this weather? I doubted anyone else on this tour could do any better.

Then he lowered his voice and leaned in. “You won’t tell them, will you?”

Just then, a few more passengers showed up at the door, so before scootching down the aisle, I made a zipping motion across my lips.

He was, after all, our only way off this mountain.

A few minutes later, Babs strolled down the aisle toward me, brushing snow out of her hair. “You sure made a run for it, Luna dear.”

I shifted aside so she could slip into the window seat.

“I was going to ask if you were enjoying the snow,” she went on, settling in, “but then I saw you making a beeline for the bus like your skirt was on fire. You’re going to ruin those darling sandals, you know.

” She nodded toward my poor, pink, frozen feet.

“Why didn’t you let the good doctor carry you back again? ”

“Why would I do that?” I didn’t meet her eyes, but stared down at my toes, wiggling them in a futile attempt to warm them up.

“Oh, I don’t know.” When I glanced over, there was a mischievous sparkle in her eyes that I was slowly becoming more and more familiar with. “Maybe because he’s big and strong…and willing? Not to mention a beefcake—a hunk. You do know what a hunk is, don’t you?”

“I know what a hunk is.” I chuckled, shaking my head and keeping my voice low. “But I am perfectly capable of walking.”

Babs grinned. “And running.”

“And running,” I reluctantly agreed.

“And yet, you didn’t walk or run earlier,” Babs pointed out, a sly smile tugging at her lips. I glanced around, grateful that none of the other passengers who’d already made their way back onto the bus seemed to be listening.

“He didn’t give me much choice,” I informed her. Except he had.

Kind of.

“Nothing like a little chest-thumping to make a gal feel special,” Babs said in a sing-song voice.

“Unless it’s Ed,” I pointed out.

“True.” Babs just grinned even wider.

“Babs,” I huffed. “I’m not interested in Noah Grady,”

Babs scoffed at me— scoffed— and then rolled her eyes. The attitude on this woman. “Could’ve fooled me. And whyever not? He seems like a decent guy, has a good job, and he’s handsome as sin! I mean, you’ve seen the shoulders on that man, haven’t you?”

I had, in fact, seen those shoulders…

“And his backside?” She pretended to wipe sweat off her forehead.

“Babs ,” I huffed again. But… I had also seen aforementioned backside .

“Okay, fine, there’s nothing wrong with him—” Babs raised her eyebrows in exaggerated disbelief.

“There’s nothing wrong with him ,” I repeated.

“I just…I’m not particularly fond of men right now. Or dating, you know, in general.”

Babs simply stared at me.

“I’m…coming off a bad breakup,” I admitted in a half-whisper.

She nodded. “Hmm. You know, I thought that might be the case.” Her eyes turned soft behind her almost cartoonish glasses. “ Do you want to talk about it?”

“No,” I said, then I bit my lip, reconsidering. “Maybe. But why did you think…?”

She shrugged. “Ever since I saw you at the meet and greet back in Denver… You seemed a little sad. But also…a little free. Like you’ve come on this trip with a blank canvas, ready to start fresh.”

Was that what I was?

Her words struck me in a way I wasn’t prepared for, and I shook my head. “Me and Leo…” It felt odd to say his name out loud…here.

Our townhouse back in Newport suddenly felt like it was way more than a few thousand miles away. More like it was from a different life.

Babs tilted her head, curious and open. And oddly enough, I felt like I’d known her forever, like I could tell her anything. Maybe it was because all of this was just temporary.

“I was with Leo for six years—got engaged, even, almost a year ago.” My mind flashed back to the day he’d proposed, and a feeling of loss hit me unexpectedly. “I thought everything was perfect.”

“No relationship is perfect,” Babs said, matter-of fact like. “If it ended, there must have been things that weren’t working. The farther you get away from it, the more you’ll come to see that. Sometimes it just takes a little distance.”

Half a continent should have been enough. “But we were engaged ,” I said, my voice catching slightly. “I thought we were happy.”

Deep creases appeared around Babs’ eyes. “Were you, really?”

I was!

Wasn’t I?

What was I saying? Of course, I was.

But…there was something strangely freeing about this, just like Babs had said. I was a little unmoored, yes—but there was also a quiet kind of relief in it. Like I could finally breathe.

Which made me wonder—if I was this relieved now, had I been more stifled than I realized?

Being with Leo had been comfortable. Familiar. Like home.

But maybe comfortable and stifled weren’t all that different. And maybe there had been signs. Signs I’d ignored or dismissed, thinking that, overall, we were good together. In love.

Happy.

But when I saw those messages popping up—right before I snapped and burned my career and my life to the ground—I had known.

Instantly. There had been no question in my mind what was going on.

No part of me that needed to double check, that thought Leo wouldn’t do this to me and felt like he might have some sort of explanation, something that could excuse it all.

It had been a shock, but had it really taken me completely by surprise like it had seemed?

My mind flashed to the conversation I’d just had with Joe. Something inside me had known, deep down, that that kid wasn’t the veteran driver we all would have preferred.

And yes, ignorance could be bliss…

I swallowed hard.

I didn’t want to believe there had been aspects of my relationship that had been fundamentally wrong. That some part of me had known they were wrong, and…that I’d been willing to stay anyway.

Because what did that say about me?

It was easier to blame Leo’s betrayal, to focus on that one glaring, undeniable failure.

But how long had it been since I’d felt genuinely happy, and how much had I just let slide?

With nothing but the low hum of the idling engine, Babs and I both stared out the window, watching as Noah trudged through the snow beside his mother. Even from here, he looked inordinately patient and ruggedly good-looking, the wind tousling his dark brown hair.

Babs let out a soft hum. “He sure is easy on the eyes.”

I swallowed, tearing my gaze away. “Doesn’t matter. I’m not even close to being ready to dive into a new relationship.” The words slipped out, meant more for myself than for Babs.

“Who said anything about a relationship?”

My gaze swung around to my seatmate. Was she serious? Seeing the look in her eyes, I realized she was only partly joking.

Not sure what to say to this woman who’d suddenly become central to my life, I turned my attention back to the window.