Page 21 of The Love Ambush (The Sullivans #1)

“That’s life, Levi. I have two kids depending on me. It’s not about what I want anymore. Both of my parents chose themselves and what they wanted over those kids. They took the easy way out. I’m not going to do that. I’m not going to repeat my parents’ mistakes.”

“Gentry, you—”

She presses a finger against my lips. “Nope. We aren’t talking about this anymore. Tell me what’s going on with you? How’s the construction business?”

She hasn’t taken her finger away from my lips, and she’s staring at them with a distracted gleam in her eyes. Gently, I reach up and pull her hand away. “Kind of hard to think about anything but kissing you.”

She’s still staring at my lips. “Really? Do you think about that a lot?”

“All the fucking time.”

She licks her lips and leans in. “That sounds like a line? Do you use it a lot?”

Irritation with Brodie rises. “I’m not that guy, Gentry. Not anymore. And I sure as hell wouldn’t be feeding you lines if I was. A player would have walked away as soon as he found out you’re the guardian to two teenagers and his best friend's little sister.”

“You did walk away,” she says, staring into my eyes like she’s trying to figure me out. “As soon as you realized who I was, you stopped flirting and ran away.”

I nod, my heart racing. I can’t keep hoping she’s just going to forget about my past mistakes, I need to be honest with her. “I was a coward, and I’ve regretted it ever since.”

She twists her mouth and blinks in disbelief. “Sure you have.”

“I didn’t hook up with anyone that night I kissed you, Gentry.

Ask Brodie. But I could have called you, and I didn’t.

That’s on me. I could tell you that Brodie was having a rough time and needed me, but the truth is you scared the hell out of me.

” It’s seriously getting difficult to talk around my heart trying to pound up my throat and out of my mouth.

This is so much harder than I thought it’d be.

“I scared you.” She scoffs. “Quit feeding me lines.”

“It’s not a line. I’ve always liked you, Gentry.

You seemed so sure of who you were and what you wanted.

That day when you invited me to the lake, and I had to watch you running around in a bikini all day, I finally admitted what I’d been doing my best to ignore.

” I lean in and press a kiss to her nose.

“You are seriously hot, Gentry Lendew. You are now and you were back then. But more than that, you’re fun and compassionate and smart.

You were way out of my league, and I knew it. ”

She jerks back, and I’m not sure if it was the kiss or my words that surprised her more. “You liked me so much you ran away?”

“Like I said, I was a coward. I’d just started working with my brothers, and there was no way you and I could be anything but long distance.

You consumed me that day at the lake. I wanted to be close to you every second.

There was no way I could do long distance with you.

So, instead of trying or explaining myself. I just didn’t call at all.”

“You ran away,” she says, but the words aren’t an accusation, more like a new understanding of words she’s said many times before.

“I’m not running now,” I say. “And you’re the one who ignored my calls after I saw you in the drugstore. I took a minute to readjust, but you totally shut me out.”

She hesitates, pressing her lips together tight. “I saw you flirting with another woman. Like less than twenty-four hours after you insisted on taking me out to dinner, you were out there trying to pick up someone else.”

I stare at her, scanning my memory, trying to remember. “What woman? Where was I?”

“Morning Brew.” Her cheeks color and she looks away.

Is she embarrassed that she remembers? I’m not.

It means she cared a lot that I was flirting with someone else, even after she insisted we would never be more than friends.

It means I have a shot. “I don’t know who the woman was.

You both reached for the creamer at the same time and got into a very intense, very involved conversation. ”

Still nothing. “I don’t…” And then it comes to me. “Are you talking about Dr. Anna Moore?”

“So you did go out with her.”

I laugh. “I think her husband might have a problem with that. We reached for the creamer at the same time, and she noticed my t-shirt, which had the logo for Sullivan Construction. She asked me about some work she needed done on a historic home she and her husband had just bought. She’s an adjunct professor at the university.

Their house was my first job after I moved back to town.

” I swallow hard, hating that this is the reason she ignored my calls.

At the time I thought it was just her way of getting revenge for me ghosting her, but this is worse.

“I’m a friendly guy, Gentry. I smile at people, even women, and I enjoy banter.

I get that it can be hard to tell the difference between friendliness and flirtiness, but this—”

She’s gone pale and won’t quite meet my eyes. “Makes me sound like an unhinged, possessive stalker?”

Some of the heaviness on my chest lifts. “I wouldn’t go that far.”

She shakes her head, and chews on her lip for a long moment. “Especially after I told you I wanted to be friends.” She sighs. “Maybe I was just looking for proof that you hadn’t changed, because…” She lowers her head and mutters something unintelligible.

With one finger under her chin, I lift her head until her pretty eyes meet mine. “What was that?”

Determination steels her expression. “You scare me, too, Levi.”

“There’s nothing to be afraid of. I’m not the guy you think I am, and I have no intention of ever hurting you.”

She nods. “And that scares me more than anything else. You know why my mother abandoned her kids?”

I brush a loose strand of soft hair off her face. “She got addicted to painkillers.”

“She abandoned us long before that,” Gentry says softly. “She loved my father so much, she’d do whatever he asked of her, and she chose him over us over and over again. If she had plans with one of us and he asked her to go out with him instead, she always chose him.”

I squeeze her hips, hating the wobble in her voice that makes it clear just how much her mother’s actions hurt her. “I’m so sorry, baby. She was wrong to do that.”

“She could have been worse, though,” Gentry says.

“People tell me all the time that as long as I’m doing my best with my sisters it’s good enough, and that’s all I can give.

But what if she was doing her best? What if she was broken in ways that made it impossible for her to put her kids first?

Do I have to forgive her? Because I don’t think I can forgive her, Levi.

I can’t forgive her for always siding with my father when I was a kid, and I can’t forgive her for choosing her addiction over her kids.

I can’t forgive her for making me give up my art.

And if I can’t forgive her, why should my sisters ever forgive me for all the ways I’m screwing up as their guardian every single day? ”

I cup her face in my hands. “You aren’t your mother, Gentry. I’ve seen you go to bat for those kids repeatedly. You dragged Emily out of that party when it wasn’t easy or convenient, because it was the right thing to do.”

“She told you that? I don’t think she’s ever going to forgive me, and I’m so scared of what she’s going to sneak around and do next, because she can’t seem to trust that she can talk to me.”

“She’s a teenager. It’s part of the programming for her to sneak around.”

Gentry stares past my shoulder. “I can’t stop wondering if Mom could have been a good mother if my father had left earlier. Like, maybe if she didn’t have her heart tied up in a man, she could have been the mother we deserved.”

“And you think if you go out with me, you’ll become your mother? You’ll stop caring about what’s best for your sisters and focus all your attention on me?”

Her gaze flashes to mine, her eyes glassy with unshed tears.

“I’m hanging on by the tips of my fingernails, Levi.

The water is over my mouth, and I’m seconds away from letting go and drowning.

I became a sobbing mess because of a massage.

I cannot handle a broken heart. I can’t do this with you. Not now.”

I slide my hands down to her shoulders. “We can take it as slow as you need, but I promise, I wouldn’t be holding you right now if I thought there was a chance in hell of me breaking your heart.” I don’t know how to make it clearer that I’m all in with her.

“Maybe we could just try it out while we’re on vacation,” she says. “Nothing that happens in this room counts, right?”

“If you kiss me, Gentry, that’s definitely counting.”

She pulls back a little, a tear slipping down her cheek. “And what if I can’t handle it counting?”

“I would never ask you to prioritize me over the kids. I’m willing to take whatever you have to give, but I can’t promise to forget kissing you, and I can’t promise not to want more after we leave this room. I want more with you, Gentry, even if I have to wait until the kids move out.”

She shakes her head. “You’re being ridiculous, Levi. I’m not worth waiting for.”

“Bullshit.” I lift her hand back up to my mouth and kiss each finger. “Although who knows, maybe this kiss will be terrible and we’ll realize we’re better as friends.” I don’t believe that for a second, but I definitely want the chance to find out.

“I guess that’s true,” she says, leaning toward me. “We should at least test the waters.”

I wait for her to come to me, but as soon as her lips touch mine, I don’t hold back. She tastes so sweet, and I want to make sure this is a kiss she never forgets.

She wraps her arms around my neck and threads her fingers through my hair, pulling me closer against her, like she needs this kiss as much as I do. Like she wants me as much as I want her.

Her hair is up in a loose bun, but I pull it free, needing to feel it on the backs of my hands as I pull her closer.

She moans into my mouth and twists, straddling my lap. I’m hard as a fucking rock, and she must feel it, because she freezes for a moment, as though she’s surprised. I don’t know how she can be surprised. I’ve made no secret of how I feel about her.

Her robe is open over her thighs, which means there’s very little other than my jeans separating her heat from my cock, and that thought only makes me harder.

She pulls away from my mouth and tilts her chin up, giving me access to kiss my way down her neck, shoving her robe aside just enough that I can press kisses along her sharp collarbone.

“That feels so good,” she moans.

I cheer inside. I don’t think I’ve experienced anything better in my life than knowing how turned on Gentry Lendew is by me.

A phone beeps from somewhere, but I pull her head back down so I can keep kissing her luscious lips.

The phone beeps again. And then again.

“I’m sorry.” Gentry pulls away, but when she tries to climb off my lap, I hold her close. She doesn’t argue, but reaches into her robe pocket and pulls out her phone.

“It’s Sophie. She wants more money.” She chews on her bottom lip, considering the text. “This is our first vacation in years. It’s okay to splurge a little, right?” She’s talking mostly to herself.

“It’s okay to splurge a little.” I know Gentry will refuse if I offer her money, but I’m damn sure going to figure out a way to help her more than I have been, no matter what happens between us.

She taps out a text and glances once more at my lips before climbing off my lap. This time, I let her go. “I should get back to the spa. Daphne’s probably worried.”

“Okay. I’ll catch up in a bit. I have something I need to take care of.”

She nods, looking unsure of herself. “I’m sorry I cried all over you.”

“Never apologize for that. I’m glad you’re feeling better.”

She turns and starts toward the exit.

“Hey, Gentry,” I call after her.

She turns back, looking sad. “Yeah?”

“That was one hell of a kiss. Maybe the best of my life.”

She smiles, even though her eyes are still sad. “Doesn’t really make things easier, does it?”

“I’m not afraid of hard.”

She doesn’t look convinced, but she nods once before she leaves.

As soon as she’s out of earshot, I call Annabelle.

“What’s up, Levi? I thought you were on vacation.”

“I need to ask you for a favor.”

“You must mean the kind of favor you pay for, because you’re all out of the other kind.”

“I’ll pay whatever it takes. I need everything you can get me on Harley Lendew. Any deep hacking I’ll take care of, but I need everything you can dig up to get me started.”

“I thought he was out of the picture.”

“Brodie wants him back in. He thinks the guy can help his sisters, maybe come back and be a dad to them again.”

She snorts. “Unlikely.”

“When’d you get so jaded?”

“That’s not jaded, Levi, that’s realistic and you know it. A man who abandons his family doesn’t just show up again with good intentions.”

“I know.” Gentry didn’t outright say anything negative about her father, but a guy who makes his wife choose him over their kids is bad news in my book.

I just need evidence to convince Brodie of that.

And maybe, I’m also hoping the guy’s actually changed, because Gentry could really use the help.

She deserves to go back to art school. “If there’s any chance he might be the exception to the rule, I need to find out. ”

“I’m on it. How soon you need it?”

“Brodie wants him here for the wedding in three days. Think you can get it to me by the end of the day tomorrow?”

“Sure, buddy. I’ll just put all my other jobs and my life on hold for you.”

“You’re the best.”

“I hate you.”

I hang up with a smile, but I don’t have a good feeling about any of this.