Page 12 of The Lionheart’s Bond (Bonds of Dusk and Dawn #1)

JUDEL

T he first signs of the shift weakened him seconds after he walked into his room. As his roars and whines turned to human grunts of pain, he was relieved to stand up on his own two legs at last. Being in animal form often felt like being stuffed in a bag too small for his body, especially towards the end of the day. He stretched, his muscles unfurling under his skin, lengthening, easing the tension in his back and hips. He’d welcome a training session. Swinging that sword, sparring, forcing his body to its limits made him feel human again.

It was better than the alternative, sitting in a room with the rest of his family. He’d much rather forgo the sibling council and go to the ring instead, but they all had to go through it, like it or not.

Except for the queen herself, the hall was unusually empty. She sat on the steps, her elbows on her knees.

‘Wearing a dress now and then wouldn’t kill you,’ he said, just to annoy her.

‘It really wouldn’t, but the skirts tangle with my sword.’

‘You’re surrounded by guards all day, what do you think is going to happen to you inside the castle?’

She shrugged, her thoughts elsewhere.

He could almost read her mind, he thought to himself, sitting next to her.

Nahel discovered the bodies of their parents that morning and he knew well what sort of images she must see when she closed her eyes. It took years before he was able to go through a day without reliving it. The lack of answers had made everything harder to deal with.

That night, before they were fully aware of what their situation was, before they could even wrap their heads around what had happened, Helge had informed them of the results of his search.

All entrances were intact, no door forced, no lock picked. No trail of dead soldiers. No one saw anything. Whoever had killed their parents so brutally had been inside the castle in the first place, but no matter how much they interrogated, no matter how much they tried to dissect the facts, there were no likely culprits. The person responsible for the curse, for their parents, had left long before they were able to start looking for them. As a result, and without any closure in the horizon, Nahel had been looking over her shoulder ever since. No guard, no servant, no maid, was trustworthy anymore.

After her wounds healed, even after she was crowned queen, it took a long time for her to trust anybody again, and realistically, apart from the ten of them, she only truly trusted the Captain of the Ilish guard.

‘Any luck with the prisoner? Did he talk?’

‘Not even a word. Neisha is about to lose the plot. Maybe you could try? Break a rib of two.’

Judel ran a hand over his face, grunting in annoyance.

‘Okay, maybe not, then,’ she said.

‘It’s exhausting.’ Judel grunted with frustration. ‘I know what I look like, but there has to be a limit to how much you all think beating people up is all I can do. I’m not a brainless lump of muscles.’

‘We don’t think you’re brainless!’ She stood up, frowning.

‘Well, you don’t think I’m smart.’

She didn’t answer and Judel sighed with resignation, standing up too. Muscles taut, the anger he tried so hard to keep at bay threatened to erupt again.

‘It’s not that,’ she said. ‘It’s not that you’re not smart. It’s that you have a good heart, and we don’t want people taking advantage of you.’

Judel frowned as her words triggered memories of that afternoon.

‘People? What people?’ he asked, already knowing the answer.

She looked up at him, crossing her arms.

‘I saw her again this afternoon,’ he said, trying to encourage her to speak. ‘She was with some other guy.’

Nahel met his gaze for a second.

‘You knew, then,’ Judel said, understanding downing on him.

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’ Her eyes wandered away from him.

‘You knew she didn’t love me.’

‘I didn’t.’

‘Don’t lie to me!’

‘I didn’t, okay? Nel thought she didn’t love you. He said something about the way she winced when you took her hand, and the way her eyes looked elsewhere so quickly after you told her you loved her… He just figured it out like he usually does.’ She would still not look at him.

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’

‘Honestly? I don’t think you’d have believed us. You were so head over heels. We figured she’d stick by you anyway. She wanted to be a princess, she wouldn’t have left you, had the curse never happened. I’m sure she half-hoped she’d be queen too, that bitch.’

The room held its breath.

‘She made a fool of me for so long. She didn’t even like me,’ Judel said, running his hands through his hair.

Nahel’s hand felt warm on his forearms as she tried to comfort him. He pulled her against him and wrapped her into a hug, a soothing warmth running through him.

They stood together, a quiet silence wrapping its strands around them, tension slowly ebbing away.

‘You’re unusually calm, given the circumstances,’ she said, her voice muffled. ‘I thought you’d explode into a rage.’

That would have been his guess too if anyone had asked him even earlier that morning. He’d train, battered whoever dared spar with him, until his feelings had burnt out, but right now, there was none of that. Maybe he was just numb.

‘I think hearing it from her own lips was such a cold reality to face, it hasn’t sunk in yet. I might still destroy half the castle later.’

‘Don’t!’ She slapped his side before coming off him. ‘We can’t afford any repairs.’ She smiled.

He sighed. The joys of being an impoverished kingdom facing only further decline. Another benefit from the curse. If he could find the person who cast such a spell on them, he’d wring their necks like a chicken’s.

‘I’m glad you didn’t take it so bad.’

‘I suppose it doesn’t really matter, does it? Real or fake, our relationship ended because of the curse and that hasn’t changed.’

Nahel looked up at him and rested her hand on his cheek. It was soft and warm.

‘Somebody out there will love you just the way you are,’ she said. Something flashed behind her eyes that he couldn’t quite read. When her hand dropped from his face, her jaw tensed. She had to believe her own words to go on, too.

‘Of course there is,’ he replied, smiling. He lifted her chin and kissed both sides of her face. He’d believe it too, for both of them.

‘What’s going on in here?’ Neisha burst in, loud and overbearing, his presence filling the entire room.

‘Just getting some good counsel from our brother,’ Nahel said, turning around. As the rest of their siblings filed in, he prepared for another hour of numbing planning and discussion.

The satisfactory feeling of freedom at the end of their endless conversations was energizing. He stretched again and made his way to the practice ring, looking forward to training, but his steps came to an end at the bottom of the stairs. As if beckoned, he looked up.

Guilt and other feelings he didn’t care to label forced him to change his mind. He’d check on Isidore first. Maybe apologize. He could do that much. His mood had been foul, that day and he had pushed himself onto the other man without so much as a second thought. It still surprised him that Isidore had leaned into it instead of running away in terror, but it might have been his survival instinct reacting and not any real desire. His stomach felt heavy with the possibility, but he couldn’t stop it from intruding into his thoughts. It muddled his other feelings of guilt, such as avoiding him after they kissed first. If he explained, Isidore would surely understand—such was his nature—and they could at least be friends. That done, Judel would have a clear mind when he ran his drills.

And not only that. If they were in good terms, later Judel might be able to help him when he recovered. He was almost there, and he’d want to leave soon, but the other man had nowhere to go. If he had been taken from his family, it might take some time to get there. The journey might be dangerous. Judel could escort him.

There was also the possibility that his parents had had other children since his disappearance and would not be willing to take him in again. He’d need help to settle down, then.

A pressure filled his chest, but he was too focused to pay any attention to it, as he rushed to his old bedroom.

His knock went unanswered once. Twice. He knocked again, opening the door this time, cautiously, for fear Isidore was asleep.

But the room was empty.

Judel frowned, shoulders seizing. Could Isidore have left after last night?

Nahel would have said something, though.

But what if he had sneaked out? What if nobody had noticed?

His heart rushing, his thoughts stumbled into each other, bringing him to a complete stop.

Still, one of the guards would have seen him, if he had left. No matter his sister’s suspicions, Isidore was no master spy. Even if he had tried to leave discreetly, someone would have seen him and reported to the captain. Yes, of course, Helge would know.

Helge could usually be found in the practice ring at this time. Judel heard his voice through the door, deep and gravelly. He’d be checking on the weapons, or training even.

Except that he wasn’t training alone.

Or was he?

He couldn’t quite tell what he was looking at.

Isidore stood in some sort of fighting stance, a training sword in his left hand, while Helge stood behind him, so close they might come in contact if one of them took a deep breath. The captain’s hands were on Isidore’s shoulder and waist.

The voice of reason was well and alive in his mind. It explained clearly and calmly how Helge was adjusting Isidore’s position, presumably to teach him some basic swordsmanship. Hadn’t he asked Judel to do just that?

The problem lied with the rest of the voices in his brain, which were currently engaging in a choir of screaming and growling, a cacophony of emotions. The message was still transparent.

‘Get your hands off him.’

He didn’t say that. He wanted to. The words burned at his lips.

‘What’s going on?’ was what he managed to say.

‘Your Highness,’ Helge bowed.

‘Your Highness, my ass,’ the voices grunted in his head.

Judel’s eyes moved to Isidore, as if pulled by a magnet, his face feeling stiff and tight, his breathing oddly shallow. The boy’s cheeks were flushed, and his hair was flat with sweat. He was panting and tired, but there was a light in his eyes he hadn’t noticed before. A vivacity that lit up his face. The prince found it hard to take his eyes off him when Helge answered, all while feeling a resentment he couldn’t explain.

‘Isidore was here this morning and expressed an interest in improving his physical form. I’ve been teaching him the basics of combat. We didn’t get far at first, his handling and even balance was off, but when we broke our morning training to eat, I noticed he handled his spoon with his left hand. He has achieved great progress since then, for a day.’

Judel gave the man a slow, understanding nod, his eyes returning to Isidore, his jaw so tight he thought he might crack a tooth.

‘Captain Helge is such an amazing teacher,’ Isidore said, smiling ear to ear.

It was like looking at the sun.

‘Yeah?’ Judel spoke, his voice so low it sounded foreign. He seized Isidore’s wrist, his fingers clenching around the delicate limb. ‘Show me.’

He pulled Isidore behind him as he picked a sword from the rack. It dragged after him, screeching against the stone floor, the sound echoing against the high ceilings.

‘My Lord?’ Helge called.

Judel turned on his heels, sword in hand, not letting go of Isidore, and faced the captain of the guard, not quite sure he would be able to take any insubordination right now.

Later, he’d wonder why he reacted so aggressively. Later, he’d realize the sight of Helge’s hands on Isidore had mirrored that man’s hands on Fabina. He’d realize her words were echoing in his head as he pulled Isidore around.

‘I pretended well…’

But that would be later. Now, he was just angry, and he couldn’t tell what he was about to do.