Page 58 of The Lies We Tell

By now, I’m not the only one watching. Niro has stepped in beside me. I’m not sure whether it was at Halo’s request or because he’s concerned too.

“He’s in shit, but King won’t hurt him,” Niro says. “He’ll make him pay though. He’s a vengeful fucker when he wants to be.”

I take a deep breath. One day I’ll be on the end of it.

Spark shakes his head and walks out of the office, headed to the bar. He looks ruined. I go to walk to him, but King stops me from following. “I know you’re concerned, preacher. But give me and Clutch a minute first.”

“He already carries too much,” I say, knowing the burden of the unacknowledged PTSD he has.

King stares deep into my eyes. “He’s not the only one, is he?” He doesn’t wait for my answer before he heads to the bar.

Spark throws back a shot of tequila as Clutch places his hand on Spark’s shoulder. He sits to Spark’s left, King to his right.

It’s only when I see the whisper of a smile on Spark’s face that the tension across my chest loosens.

Finally, King stands and gets everyone’s attention with a loud whistle. “Spark is claiming Iris. Little Irish just became one of our own. Because we aren’t scared of the Irish mob. Because we’re the motherfuckin’ Iron Outlaws.”

People cheer, shots are poured, and King grabs one and brings it to me. I take it, and King holds his glass to mine, one hand on my shoulder.

“Good news for your boy, yeah?” he says.

I glance over at Spark, who is smiling at something Clutch said. “You made the right call.”

King studies me intently. “So did you. And if I ever see you go for your weapon again when I know it’s going to be pointing at me ... I’ll gut you with a fishing knife before I fucking kill you without hesitation. Sláinte.”

And with that, he knocks back his shot, then disappears with Halo.

I watch him go and blow out a breath. Fuck me. I’m getting sloppy. I’m gonna get myself killed.

“You good?” Spark asks as he comes to stand next to me.

“Yeah ... yeah. Fine. What happened?”

Spark looks toward King’s office. “The short version is Iris. The long version is I ...” A smile crosses his face. It’s fucking goofy.

“You love her.”

“Yeah. But there’s more to it. I’ll fill you in over drinks. It’s to do with who caused her accident. I got the plates and asked Vex about it. Anyway, Vex told King because it was proof I’m tied up with her. I don’t know what it all means, but I’m sorry I’ve hidden shit from you. Was waiting to see if me and her was more than ... well, you know... physical shit. Didn’t want to bring problems to the club’s door. Didn’t want to go against my clubs’ orders either. Didn’t want to drag you into it. But she ... she eases me, Saint.”

He huffs and looks down at the ground, as if embarrassed by what he’s shared.

Men. We’re shit at admitting our feelings to one another.

“You deserve that, Spark. I’m glad King bent his rule.” I also pray he’ll bend the rules for me when the time comes.

“Can I ask you something?” he asks, looking up again.

“Sure.”

“You know anyone who went through counselling with the VA?”

The truth is, I do. But I can’t put Spark in touch with them because those people, if they speak to him, may give my cover away. “I guess I’ve known some guys who’ve gone through it, though not really anyone I’m close with. But if you’re even thinking about it, my suggestion is to do it. Why now?”

“Because I had a moment yesterday when I wasn’t this guy. A moment with Iris when I ... fuck ... when the world made sense again. When I didn’t feel all this ... weight, I guess.”

I know how that feels. I wish I could tell him about Briar and have them both over for dinner. I wonder if Iris and Briar would like camping. I grip his shoulder. “Then I already love Iris for helping you feel that.”

Two hours later, I can barely feel my lips. Spark is as drunk as I am. King sits next to me, as if our earlier conversation never happened. As we talk, I remember what happened in the garage before we hit the dock.