Page 105 of The Lies We Tell

At least, that’s how I interpret what Spark told me.

Because Jeremiah 29:11 is about that. Hope.For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope.

And it makes me do something I haven’t done in a long time. I pray. I’m not entirely sure who I’m praying to. Maybe they are pleas to the universe, because this is not how my life was meant to end. I’m meant to be in the sun with Briar, her in a turquoise bikini that matches the color of the water. She’s sun-kissed and so fucking happy, it hurts my heart to witness it.

I thought my life flashing before my eyes would be all the things I’ve done, not all the things I would never get to do. There are kids. Three of them. Two boys and a girl, in that order. And a dog. No, make that two. One is a great guard dog, the other is a dumbass who finds sticks three times the size he is. I ride my bike; I’m part of this club. And at the end of every ride and every day, there’s Briar.

“Remember the camera feed to your apartment,” I whisper. “Use it.”

Briar’s hand grips mine. “Don’t make me have to. Please.”

I see the ink on Spark’s hand as he steers the van. An iris in deep purple, and the letters of her name across his knuckles. I want to carry the mark of Briar with me every day too.

I’ll get it done by someone other than Niro.

Maybe I’m going to face my death, but I’m so fucking calm. Like the days when I walked the last two hundred meters to a bomb.

When the van finally pulls up outside the clubhouse, I take a moment to look at Briar one last time.

“I love you. So much,” she says.

“Don’t ever doubt how much I love you too,” I say.

“I’m scared,” she replies.

“I know. But trust Spark. If anything goes to shit, trust him.”

Tears sting her eyes. “We were so close to figuring it all out.”

“There’s still time. Remember. Step one. Avoid the panic hole. Step two. Be optimistic. Step three. Control the steps, not the outcome.”

Niro chuckles in the background, and I turn to face him. “How you got that scar on your face will be nothing compared to what I’ll do to you if you harm her.”

He shrugs. “Can’t wait, preacher man. That was a great motivational pep talk by the way.”

I let the anger fill me. But like the first step in any bomb disposal, containment is key. I save my fuel wisely. There will be a time when I need it. Some bombs can’t be disposed of. They’re too cleverly and tightly wired and planned.

Sometimes, all you can do is let them detonate.

The lot is filled with bikes. Every member is here to witness this, and I breathe in slowly. Keeping my heart rate down is going to be crucial. Stress won’t help me make clear decisions. Stress won’t make what’s about to happen hurt any less.

When they lead us around the back of the club, my heart sinks. We’re going to the shed.

“You okay, sweetheart?” I ask, squeezing her hand.

She shakes her head without saying a word.

Spark falls into step alongside me. “We’ve got her,” he whispers. “Cillian’s men are going to take her from the two prospects guarding her while you’re inside. She’ll be at my house. He has his men there to protect her.”

“Good. Tell Cillian I’ll tell him what I know if I make it through tonight. What is this?”

“The best I could do. It’s gonna hurt, but you’ll live.”

Briar slams to a halt. “Whatever this shit show is,” she says, “you look at me. Not them. They don’t exist. Just you and me. Right?”

I cup her cheek and move to kiss her before Niro shoves me away from her. “I’m done with the lovefest. Just get inside.”

And then we’re separated. I see Cillian has Briar by the shoulders while Niro and Bates drag me into the shed.