Page 30 of The Lies of Lena (The Otacian Chronicles #1)

Chapter Twenty-Nine

I t was past 11:00 p.m. when I finally snuck to see Silas, an invisibility elixir coursing through my body. Torrin was not at his usual post, but I knew he was gathering things for our trip.

Guards were swarming around, but I was confident in this elixir’s ability. I executed the recipe perfectly, as my last failing was unacceptable.

I climbed the ledges carefully, and when I reached his window and peeked inside, he wasn’t there.

Shit.

I squeezed my eyes shut.

Torrin? Torrin, can you hear me?

I waited a few moments before I heard a reply.

“Yes, what is going on? Are you all packed?”

Yes, I am packed. I am trying to see Silas, but he isn’t in his room.

“You are at the castle?!”

Even in my head, I could hear the anger in Torrin’s voice. I clenched my fists. How does no one understand? I felt my eyes burning.

I cannot just leave him without holding him one more time. I can’t.

There was a delay in Torrin’s response.

“ I understand… ” he said softly. “ The King and Otacia’s favored generals are in a meeting. Silas is there, too. ”

I rested my back against the cold stone of the castle, looking out into the starry night sky before my eyes trailed downward. Most people were sleeping now, but the few lights illuminated in the homes below glimmered like stars from this high up. This was my last night here…I still couldn’t fathom it.

What are they preparing?

Another pause.

“Nothing good, Lena. Nothing good. It’s been hours, so I assume it will be done within the hour.”

I buried my face in my hands. I am so scared, Torrin.

“ I know, ” his voice was laced with compassion. “ I will keep you and your mother safe as we make our way to Ames. I promise. ”

I was startled when I caught movement on my left, and when my eyes darted over, I saw Torrin standing next to me with a bag slung around his shoulder.

He looked around, and I knew he couldn’t see me.

“ I assume you’re here. Your voice sounds louder here. ”

I am.

I fished into my bag and sipped on the reversal elixir I packed to make myself visible again. When Torrin’s eyes met mine, I knew it worked. I glimpsed back at the sky, and he sat down beside me .

Y ou should go. The last thing I want is for you to get caught.

“Come with me,” he said out loud softly. “We can go right now.”

I turned to him, his expression as strained as mine.

“You know I can’t do that,” I whispered.

“I know,” he whispered back, then, to my surprise, pulled me into a hug. I froze before hugging him back as tightly as I could. The tears couldn’t help but pour out, and I was sobbing quietly into his chest.

“Are you going to be able to keep it together when you see him?” Torrin asked just above a whisper.

I don’t know…I don’t know…

I continued to sob, and Torrin stroked my hair. How could I see him one last time without having a complete meltdown? Without telling him the truth?

“You could leave him a note,” Torrin gently suggested. “You could say you came to see him, and he wasn’t in his room.”

“I need to hug him,” I choked out. “I need to touch him, kiss him, hear his voice—one last time.”

I pulled away from his hold and sniffled as I wiped my eyes. I can do this.

Torrin nodded. “I will stay with you.”

I waited half an hour with Torrin, and he did his best to try to keep me calm. I told him talking made it worse, but he insisted that if I held it all in until I saw Silas, I would break .

So, I told him about us. I told him stories he already knew. I told him about the day I showed Silas around the Outer Ring. I told him about my childhood on the run and about the fear that has held me back all my life. He kept eye contact and listened the entire time.

When I noticed the oil lamps being turned on in Silas’s room, I wiped my eyes and stood, taking a deep breath.

“You can do this, Lena.” He grasped my hands. “He is your Soul-Tie. This is not the end.”

I nodded, we squeezed each other’s hands, and I made my way to the window. Torrin retreated to where Silas wouldn’t see him.

When I peered inside and saw the one I loved, I noted how exhausted he looked—completely drained. He was unbuttoning his shirt when he caught me in the window. Quickly, he trekked to the door, flicking the locks and letting me inside.

“Lena, you shouldn’t—”

I flung myself into his arms, and he closed his around me tightly. I repeated Torrin’s words in my head.

He is your Soul-Tie. This is not the end.

“I know, I know I shouldn’t have come up here. But I—” Had to say goodbye. “I had to see you.”

He continued holding me close. “I wish I could hold you like this daily,” he breathed. “You’re the only thing that grounds me in all this chaos.”

He is your Soul-Tie. This is not the end.

“I couldn’t live without you,” he whispered.

I froze. Why…why, of all times, would he say something like that?

“Don’t say that…” I begged quietly .

“It’s true. The only good thing in my life is you. I wouldn’t have the desire to live if—”

“No,” I said sternly, pulling back and staring into his eyes. “You cannot let your will to live be tied to me, Silas. To anyone. Because life is unfair, and tragedy can happen at any time.” I touched his face, stroking my thumb along his perfect cheekbones. His amber eyes welled with tears, and mine started too, as well. “No matter what happens…” My lip trembled, but I kept the tears in. “You will not give up. You will not break.” It took everything in me to keep myself composed. “Promise me.”

His jaw clicked, his golden eyes bouncing between mine in contemplation.

“Please, promise me, Silas.”

He kissed my forehead. “For you, my Flower, I promise,” he whispered.

He is your Soul-Tie. This is not the end.

I pulled away, and my throat burned from holding in my tears.

“I have to leave. I’m not sure when I can come to see you again…with everything happening."

“I understand.” He gave me a sad smile. “I will miss you every second.”

This is not the end.

“As will I.” I pulled him close and hugged him tightly again. It took every fiber in my being not to break. I was going to hurt him so deeply, and all I wanted was for him to know I would be okay. That I would still be alive. To know that I wanted nothing more than to stay here with him.

“I love you more than anything,” I whispered. “Always. ”

“Always, Lena.” He rocked me in his arms. “I will love you, always.”

I brought my lips to his one last time, the kiss slow yet intense. I savored every second of his tongue around mine, his arms around my body, the feeling of his face against my hands. When we broke our kiss, I studied his face, memorizing every line, every detail.

This is not the end.

I retreated towards the balcony, and Silas opened the door for me.

“Please, be careful,” he begged, just as he had the day prior.

“I will be just fine,” I said softly, wishing he would remember these words come tomorrow, hoping that somehow, he would know I had lived. Unable to say goodbye without falling apart, I whispered, “Until I see you again.”

Silas smiled, and I took a mental picture of him before turning away. I made it around the balcony and down the path before Torrin caught my arms. I stared at him with tears falling out of my eyes.

“You did good, Lena.”

I nodded and fished into my bag, pulling out two elixirs and handing Torrin one. We sipped, and we both became invisible.

The walk home was a mental and visual blur as tears kept silently welling and pouring from my eyes.

I’m leaving him. I’m leaving him for who knows how long…

As we entered my house, we sipped a reversal elixir. Mother was packing a bag and froze as she saw us walk in. Torrin ambled forward, and I slowly shut the door behind me before leaning against it, sliding to the ground, and finally releasing my sob.

“Lena…” Mother rushed to me, attempting to comfort me, but it would never be enough. I supposed she knew the feeling, but she didn’t trick my father into thinking she was dead.

I was gasping for air with how hard I was crying. I had never felt this much sorrow. “I…I can’t be without him,” I cried. “Gods, he is going to be so heartbroken.”

“Shh…shh…” Mother pulled me in close.

“I love him…” I wept as she rocked me. “I love him.” I felt my body getting cold, colder than I had ever felt before, even when I once ran for my life barefoot in the snow.

Mother held me, continuing to hush me as she swayed me back and forth. My body began to tremble.

Fuck. I am freezing.

“Gods, Lena—” Torrin began, and then Mother shrieked and tumbled back. My head shot up, and when I glanced down at my lap, I choked.

My hands and forearms were covered in ice. The ground beneath me, where my hands were resting, was covered, too, freezing my arms and legs to the floor.

Torrin hurried over and knelt beside me.

“Thank the Gods this didn’t happen earlier,” he mumbled as he held his palms near both of my arms, a light flame emitting out of both.

I gasped. “You wield fire,” I breathed, my teeth chattering from the cold.

“Indeed,” he murmured. “Just hold still. I won’t hurt you.” He slowly swayed his palms back and forth, gradually melting the ice that held me in place. Fire magic is the rarest elemental magic to acquire. I didn’t want to imagine the pain Torrin must’ve endured to unlock it.

“You will learn to control it. Don’t worry,” Mother began.

Then I thought about myself. “I…I have ice magic.” It was more of a statement than a question. Mother nodded, and I looked to Torrin, his brown eyes focused on the task at hand. Ice magic is the elemental type that is acquired by immense devastation. Mother also wielded ice, though I had never asked what gave her that power. I would on our journey.

I felt the water dripping down my arms, and after a moment, I was able to break them free from the ice mold.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, then cried more. I didn’t have it in me to even feel embarrassed; Torrin had seen me cry more than anyone had, save for Mother.

“Don’t be,” Torrin said softly. I continued to shiver, and after a few moments, my legs were free. When my sobbing started to quiet down, Torrin spoke to my mother.

“If there is anything I can help with, let me know.”

Mother surveyed the bags resting on our dining table. “Everything we’re taking is packed. I’ve stored away as many elixirs as I could comfortably fit.” She turned to him. “How far of a travel is it to Ames?”

“About two months.”

My heart sank further if that was even possible. Two months on the run. Two months of sleeping on the ground and struggling to find food to eat.

“I will take care of us. ”

I lifted my head to look at Torrin, and he nodded, helping me to my feet.

A moment later, after changing into dry clothes, I stood at the edge of my room. I was watching Mother conjure a replica of… me …lying on my bed. It was quite a disturbing sight. While I had focused on improving basic enchanting over the past year, Mother had concentrated on learning advanced spells, the ability to conjure up illusions being one of them.

“Your jewelry…”

“No. The necklace and ring stay with me.” I looked to my closet, where various clothes, dresses, and gowns Silas had all gifted me hung. I held back another sob. All would be turned to ash. Never to be worn again.

I waited in the living area with Torrin as Mother conjured up her own copy, and when she emerged, her eyes teary, Torrin shifted to me.

“I will set fire to both of your rooms, ensuring nobody figures out those bodies aren’t real. When I finish, we take these elixirs.” He gestured to the glass bottles we all held. “And we run like hell.”

Mother stepped next to me and nodded, and Torrin made his way to Mother’s room, then my own. Once I heard the fire start crackling, Torrin paced to us.

“It’s too risky to talk, so if either of you needs to communicate—think it. And I will relay if necessary.”

We nodded, then quickly downed the elixirs before exiting our cottage for the final time. I took in its imperfect stones, the plants I had spent so much time tending to, the ivy I had always adored.

My home. The first real home I ever had .

We raced down the cobblestone road, hearing a shout just before we made it to the exit. Someone had noticed the fire. I turned and felt my stomach flip when I beheld the sight of our house, now engulfed in flames.

“It will be okay.”

I hope you are right, Torrin.

We made it down the steps, across the bridge, and into the Southern Forest just in time as the elixir faded. We dashed into the shadows. Each breath was like a shard of glass in my lungs.

I allowed myself one last glance back, the lights from the castle in the distance a beacon in the dark.

This is not the end.