Page 21 of The Lies of Lena (The Otacian Chronicles #1)

Chapter Twenty

LENA

H e lied to me—this entire time.

It had been a week, and I still struggled to fathom it all. I chucked little rocks into the river behind my home and watched as they made their ripples.

Today would be the day he shows. I still didn’t know what I would say. I knew I couldn’t be with him, but I also craved nothing more than to be at his side.

And then there was everything with Torrin. How did a Mage manage to ascend the ranks of the Royal Guard? He said he was one of the Prince’s friends, yet Quill had only mentioned Edmund and Hendry to me.

After tossing a few more stones, thoughts firing off in my brain, I felt someone walk up behind me and glanced back to see Quill. He was watching me, hands in the pockets of his black pants and a somber expression on his face.

Silas. His name is Silas .

I turned to face the river and threw another rock before pulling my legs closer. “Go away.”

I heard his footsteps approaching. “I said go away,” I repeated. He sat beside me, wrapped his arm around me, and pulled me close. He knew just as I did that the last thing I wanted was for him to leave.

I couldn’t stop my lip from trembling and the tears from flowing, and a moment later, I broke into a full sob. He drew me close, and as I cried and cried into his chest, he caressed my head, his fingers gliding through my hair.

“I am so, so sorry, Lena. I didn’t want to lie…” he said, his tone so pitiful it made my heart break.

“Then why?” I cried, lifting my head to look at him. “Why did you? Did you not trust me?” I knew I was a hypocrite for saying that, but I couldn’t help it.

“No, that’s not it at all.” He held my face with one hand, then took a deep breath. “My mother allowed me to sneak out for one day. It was just supposed to be for one day.” He brushed my tears away with his thumb, then held my face with both hands. “Not only that, but I was also only supposed to go to the Inner Ring, not the Outer, and certainly not exit the kingdom. It was meant for me to experience and see a part of Otacia—to give me a small taste of freedom that I so desperately desired.

“And then I saw you.” He smiled softly, then skimmed his thumb against my bottom lip. “You know what I thought? I saw you get pushed to the ground, and yes, my instinct at first was to rush over and protect you. I assumed I knew how you would be—a small, innocent girl incapable of defending herself. Perhaps another girl who would gush over me.” The corners of his lips raised. “Then I saw you grab and hold your dagger to that girl’s neck.” He let out a breathy laugh. “Gods, that look in your eyes. At that moment, you weren’t frightened, small, or broken.” His smile turned to a grin. “You were a siren. Beautiful, dangerous, and utterly fascinating. So, I asked myself, who is this spitfire, and how can I get close to her? Everyone up there,” he said, gesturing toward the Center, “is so superficial. The conversations are bleak. Most of the people are…soulless.”

His beautiful eyes met mine again, staring intensely.

“I didn’t go over to help you. I came over to have a taste of something real . And I couldn’t believe how little you thought of yourself. How you had no clue that you were more special than every person in this damn kingdom. I could tell you wore a mask, hiding your true self because you were scared to be her. It was something I related to. But that’s why I enjoyed teasing you…enjoyed pushing your buttons. Because I saw her peering through, begging to come out. And I loved every bit of her.”

I felt myself choke up more, my eyes stinging and failing at holding back the constant flow of tears.

Still holding my face, he kissed both streams, and his golden gaze burned into mine when he drew back to speak more. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to look at me like everyone else does. I didn’t want you to treat me any differently. And even though I didn’t tell you everything about me, you have gotten the most authentic version of me that anyone else has. ”

I couldn’t breathe, mainly because his words struck home. How could I be mad at him when I have kept my secret for the same reasons?

“I know me being the Prince…complicates things,” he continued. “But I’m in love with you, Lena Daelyra. Truthfully, I’ve been in love with you since the moment I saw you.”

My hand traveled up to the side of his neck. “I’m in love with you, Qu—” I stopped myself. “Silas…”

“You can still call me Quill. Hell, I love hearing you call me that.” He grazed his thumb along my jawline.

“But that’s not who you are. That…isn’t you. ”

“Being Quill, being with you, is the most I’ve ever felt like myself,” he assured me. “The name is the only part that wasn’t true, but it represents me almost more than Silas does.”

“I understand that…but you’re the Prince . And I’m nothing more than a common peasant, even if you believe I am special. There’s no real possibility of us being together. Not once you turn eighteen. Once a beautiful princess is brought for you to marry…”

“I will not be marrying anyone but you .”

“You will have to marry a princess, Silas.” The name still felt strange coming out of my mouth. “No matter how you feel or what you want…”

“Listen to me,” he murmured, tilting my chin upwards. “The only person I will marry is you ,” he repeated. “Should that be what you wish?”

I sighed through my nose. “How can a prince be so delusional?” I teased softly.

He bit his lip to prevent a grin from forming, then pulled me in for a kiss. Electricity shot throughout me as our lips touched, and I began to force it down as best I could.

I’m kissing the Prince of Otacia. I’m kissing Silas La’Rune.

My fingertips started to buzz, and a familiar hum in my chest began.

Keep it down, I ordered the magic, closing it inside a box.

He pulled away, still holding my chin. “How is it that I was blessed enough to find you?”

I rolled my eyes and tried and failed to hold in a smile.

“I’m guessing you still can’t tell anyone about me, save for your mother. Why is she okay with this? Seems rather odd.”

“Not yet. I will still have to be secretive about you until I can find a way for us to marry,” he said softly. “As far as my mother goes, I’m really not sure either—maybe because she and my father are so…distant. And she sees how happy you make me.” He shook his head. “I’m not sure.”

“I love you,” I stated, running my hand through his raven-black hair. “But I will never be a princess, Silas. Certainly not a queen.” I kissed his cheek. Next year, Silas would be eighteen, and everything would change. He would be introduced to the kingdom. He would be free. “One year. You have me for one year.”

“I guess I have a year to convince you otherwise, Flower,” he said with his signature lazy smile. I elbowed him playfully, chuckling as I did so, and he flicked my nose. “Gods, I missed you,” he breathed. “That was unbearable being trapped, unable to speak with you.”

I snuggled into his arm, my voice turning into a whisper as I said, “I’m sorry I left. I’m sorry I didn’t hear you out— ”

“Do not be sorry. I deserved it.” I shook my head, and he kissed the top of it in response. “And I’m sorry you had to spend a day in those wretched cells. Makes me ill just thinking of it.”

There. There was my opening.

“It wasn’t great,” I said carefully. “But thankfully, the guard was kind, made it less scary. Tallon was his name?”

“Torrin,” Silas corrected and looked down at me. “He was kind?”

I wasn’t sure what to say. I didn’t want to seem suspicious.

“I wouldn’t say kind, but not cruel. He let me send a message to my mother.”

He smiled. “Torrin is a good man. He’s actually the one who trains me now.”

I straightened. “He is?”

“Yes,” Silas raised a brow. “Why, do you like him?” He sat up. “I am not one to share, Lena.”

I pinched his side, and he playfully swatted me away with a big grin on his face. I pressed my lips against his again, hard, causing us to collapse into the grass. He laughed against my mouth and wrapped his arms around me tightly as we continued to nip at each other’s lips.

The thought of Torrin lay in the back of my mind.

Will he turn out to be a friend? Or an enemy in disguise?

We spent the morning talking, cuddling, and kissing. Thankfully, Mother had already offered to take care of the orders for me today. After she returned to gather some items and left to run our stand shortly afterward, Silas and I quickly snuck to my room and made love far too many times. I was addicted to the feel of his body against mine, every flick of his tongue, every devilish smirk he gave. Everything about him was intoxicating. I would be lying if I said the idea of the Prince bedding me didn't arouse me further.

When Mother finally returned, Silas was already gone. I was washing our dishes as she strolled in, and she demanded I tell her what went down, though if she had taken a peek at all during our encounter, she would have known we had made up. She shook her head after I told her everything he said, save for the more personal details. She was still high-strung after I told her what happened with Torrin.

“Lena,” Mother paced. “Listen, he is a sweet boy. Attractive. Kind. But…I still can’t believe this,” she said as her hand went to her forehead. “He is the Prince. And should the King find out about your romance, there would be significant consequences. And don’t even get me started if you were to bear his child!”

“Mother,” I flushed. “I…I know I won’t be able to stay with him. But he has one more year before the kingdom will recognize him. I just…” I stopped scrubbing the dish in hand and turned off the water. “I just want this one year with him.”

“And you think that leaving will be easier after that?”

I knew Mother had first-hand experience with leaving the one she loved. “If you could’ve had one more year with my father, you would have, yes?”

Her eyes widened, and then she sighed, her reaction giving me the answer I knew it would be .

“Just…don’t get too attached, Lena.” She came up and hugged me. “And please, for the love of the Gods, especially now, do not get pregnant.”

I groaned and pushed away. That was the last thing I wanted. Thankfully, the contraceptive elixir was nearly one hundred percent effective so long as I ingested it every month.