Page 17

1998

The bar owner has introduced a range of American beers and Kaya is struggling to find the brand the men at the counter want.

It’s busy tonight; the Helsinki businessmen are back and the Americans ordering the Sam Adams cream stout are with them. Kaya has been listening to them on and off all night, as she’s fetched their beers and served them chicken wings and sides. One of them started a conversation with her about the fries, telling her he’d never tasted anything so good. She’d begun explaining that Lappish potatoes are the best in the world, because of the midnight sun, but then realised he didn’t want an actual conversation with her, just to stare at her breasts.

The men are discussing a new hotel on the side of the mountain. The idea is it will lead straight out to the ski slopes, and chairlifts will be built to bring residents back up to the hotel after they’ve been in the town. One of the Helsinki men has pointed out that the local council will have to be soothed– a lot of trees will need to be felled for the development. But they can use the wood in a sustainable fashion: he says sustainable in a way that implies it’s the most useful word in the English dictionary. Plus, a friend of his can contact the council and make enquiries about locating a mine in the area. Everybody knows the mountain is rich with chemical elements. When it comes to debate at council, the politicians will be faced with a choice between a rock or. . . well, smashed rocks.

Kaya supposes they don’t think her English is good enough to fully understand what they’re saying, but she understands perfectly.

She is, however, too happy to care.

The last few weeks at home have been good. Miika hasn’t been drinking as much. Kaya doesn’t know if it’s a decision he’s actively taken or if it’s because the farm is busy right now. He’s got a new meat order from a couple of local restaurants and it looks like they’ll actually make some decent money this winter. He’s talking about expanding the herd again. He’s still doing most of the butchering on his own, but he’s also thinking about bringing in a couple of Sami men at the weekend to help with that, too.

It’s the first time in a long time she’s seen him so relaxed and she’s even more convinced that his bad behaviour has been a result of stress. She can forgive him for that.

Last week, he went to Rovaniemi and came home with a new scarf and hat for her, pretty red wool and delicately designed. It’s two weeks until Christmas and he could have kept the gifts until then, but he gave them to her.

He’s been enjoying her body, too. Not like when they were teenagers– all amateur, rough fumbling– and not like after they were married, when she often felt like a piece of meat.

She’s giving herself to him and he’s noticed. He likes it.

She’s started to change; she feels more fleshy, more curved. It’s the baby growing inside her, but she tries not to think about it. She won’t break the news to Miika until it’s time. Her clothes are starting to strain a little, here and there, but she’s pretty sure she can hide it a while longer. Her skirts are easy to let out but she might need to go up a blouse size sooner rather than later.

Kaya hums along to the tune playing on the radio while she cleans the bar counter.

One of the Americans is back, the guy who was staring at her cleavage. She doesn’t like this man. He has a look on his face that reminds her of a wolf. The way he studies her, she reckons he’d eat her if he had half the chance. They get like this, a lot of these businessmen. Think they can come to these provincial towns and take what they want. Land. Business. Locals.

Kaya pours him the spirit he asks for and his fingers touch hers as she places the glass on the counter. It sends an unpleasant electric current through her. She knows everyone is watching them. His friends, the other bar patrons. Looking to see if she reacts, if the guy will get lucky or if she’ll tell him where to go.

She’s stretching up to put the bottle of whiskey back on the shelf when he speaks.

‘What time do you finish?’ he asks.

Her blouse slips out of her skirt with the stretch and Kaya is conscious her skin is on show now. She blushes and tucks it back in, hastily.

‘Why do you ask?’ she says.

‘I could give you a ride home.’

‘My husband will do that,’ Kaya says, and it’s true; Miika is coming to collect her. Her car engine stalled last week and Miika has been dropping her into work while she waits for it to be fixed. She could have taken the snowmobile but she’s told Miika she hasn’t been feeling well. What she hasn’t told him is she’s not sure if all the bouncing around on the snowmobile will harm the baby.

In any case, having Miika drive her in has been useful. Miika turning up when Kaya is in the bar has helped to keep her ex-lover at bay. She’s glad of it. She’s doing her best to ignore him, like they never happened.

‘Surely you’re too young to be married,’ the American man says. He’s still watching her, staring at her and the glimpses of skin between the buttons on her blouse. Kaya is increasingly uncomfortable under his gaze. She feels like the reindeer must when buyers come to the farm and examine them, checking the density of their fur, the solidity of their antlers. This guy would grab her if he could, and from her eavesdropping, she knows the group are staying in for the next two weeks. That means this guy, in her bar, every night. She wishes her co-worker would return from his break and take over. She could feign some excuse and go hide out back for a while.

‘Let me buy you a drink, anyway,’ he says. ‘We could have a bit of fun, hey? Just a little. All innocent.’

‘No, thank you,’ she says, sharply.

Movement catches her eye. She looks over to the corner of the bar, near the door, and realises her husband is standing there. He must have arrived a few minutes ago and he’s watching the American guy. She’s not worried at what he’ll think. She knows Miika can see the stranger is upsetting her. Her face is flushed and her body language is doing its best to repel the unwanted attention.

He crosses to the bar and Kaya joins him, a grateful, relieved smile on her face.

‘You’re early,’ she says.

‘I thought your boss might let you off,’ he says. He glances sideways at the American, who slinks back to his table as Kaya’s smile grows wider.

‘Did you tell him you haven’t been feeling well?’ Miika asks.

Kaya shrugs. She has been exhausted the last few days. Utterly and completely. But she’s managed to drag herself into work each evening, her face pale, her eyelids heavy; she’s even covered for some of the other girls who are off with less serious issues– like hangovers. Of course she hasn’t said anything to her boss. She can’t.

‘We’re too busy,’ she says. ‘But it’s nearly closing. Sit here at the bar and I’ll get you a coffee.’

Miika sits up on a stool. He looks over at the table of businessmen. Kaya smiles again. Miika is huge, practically a giant of a man, compared to those soft-handed fools. Lately, Kaya has been reminding herself that Miika was the strongest guy in her class and how she used to enjoy the feeling that nobody would ever harass her when he was around. She’d become too used to fearing his strength. Not any more.

Kaya likes this possessive side to Miika. She feels protected. Wanted.

She moves about behind the bar, conscious her husband’s eyes are on her and enjoying every moment.

Maybe tonight, she thinks. Maybe I’ll tell him tonight I’m pregnant with his child.