Page 53 of The Last Safe Place

“Go ahead,” Michaela encouraged her. “If you’re so set on reclaiming uncultivated land and getting a crop out of it, find yourself a farmer, marry him and get yourself shipped out East. For the first few months, you’ll probably have to sleep outdoors, at least until your husband builds a cabin for you. The only running water will probably be in the river, and you can read in the evening by candlelight if you’re not too tired after a hard day’s work in the field.”

Eva’s eyes widened with every word, until she replied in a small voice: “That’s not what I meant.”

Carola clapped her hands. “Come to the table. I’ve baked a cake.”

“Delicious,” Michaela praised her sister-in-law as she tasted the cake. Seeing the doubt on Carola’s face, she added, “I mean it. I haven’t eaten anything like it in months.”

“It’s amazing what you get used to. Even cakes with barely any sugar, and ersatz coffee.”

While they ate, Eva and Ilse prodded listlessly at their cake, listening to the conversation between Michaela and Carola.

“I assumed you’d be taking them with you right away.” Carola’s cheeks flushed and she hurried to add, “Not because I want to get rid of them, but?—”

“You don’t have to apologize, none of this is your fault. Quite the contrary. Thanks to you, they were able to enjoy two more years of relatively carefree living while I took care of Dieter.” As always when she thought of her husband, Michaela had to fight back her tears. His death had been a double tragedy; it had not only plunged Michaela deep into grief, it had also wreaked havoc, in her own life and the lives of her daughters.

“So, each of them has packed a satchel with their belongings, and I’ve tied up a bundle of all their important documents for you. School certificates, residential register, birth certificates, anything that might be useful. And…” Finally, Carola mustered a smile. “I’ve packed food in each bag.”

“We can definitely do with that. Our ration cards are good for almost nothing these days.”

“Tell me about it,” sighed Carola.

“We don’t yet have a departure date, so it may well be that we have to stay in Berlin for a few more weeks.” Michaela sincerely hoped their journey would begin soon, since the noose around the necks of the Jewish population was tightening practically by the day. She didn’t have the slightest desire to find out for herself whether the ghettos and camps in the East were really as bad as everyone suspected.

“Can we stay with Aunt Carola until then?” Eva interrupted their conversation, her face hopeful. “Please!”

“I’m afraid that’s not possible.” Michaela’s heart broke to see the disappointment on her daughter’s face. “Once we’re given the go-ahead, it could happen very quickly, and I might not have time to fetch you. Besides, you’re not safe here anymore. Imagine what would happen if the Gestapo came for you in the meantime?”

Eva pressed her lips together. “They could do that in Berlin too.”

“In theory, yes, but I have a letter of protection from the Abwehr.” Then Michaela told the anecdote about how Leonore only had her presence of mind to thank for not being deported to a detention camp.

Eva grumbled a few more incomprehensible words. Nonetheless, Michaela got the impression that her daughter had accepted the sense of the decision.

“We have to get going,” said Michaela a few hours later. She wanted to be back in Berlin before nightfall, and there was no knowing whether the trains were running on time.

“Fetch your satchels,” Carola ordered. Once the two girls returned to the living room carrying their satchels, Carola stood up and held them close for a long time, furtively wiping a tear from her eyes. “May God protect you.”

“Bye, Aunt Carola. We’ll come visit you as soon as we can.”

“Thank you, a thousand times, for everything.” Michaela hugged her sister-in-law. “As soon as we arrive, I’ll send a postcard to let you know.”

“Hopefully the war will be over soon, and then you can come back.”

Michaela doubted that would happen any time soon. Besides, she doubted she’d ever want to return to this country, where the people hated her kind so much.

Putting on a cheerful voice, she said, “Let’s go. You’ll love Switzerland, I’m sure of it.”

“Not me,” Eva muttered.

She stared at her eldest daughter. “They have bananas there. And chocolate. And cakes with lots of sugar.”

“Pfff.” Eva pretended to be unimpressed.

Ilse’s eyes, on the other hand, lit up at the promise of sweets, and a moment later a small hand stole into Michaela’s. At least her youngest daughter didn’t seem so averse to this adventure. Hopefully, Eva too would soon realize that fleeing the country was their only chance of a life anywhere close to normal.

27

Eberhard wondered what Lieutenant Hesse wanted from him so urgently. H hadn’t given so much as a hint on the telephone. Despite the oppressive August heat, he slipped into his jacket and hat, turned the sign on his office door to “Closed” and walked down to the street.