Page 84 of The Last One to Let You Down

“Thank you.” Tom accepted it and promptly downed it.

“Okay.” Cypress clicked his tongue. “Another?”

Tom held out his empty glass.

“Now, can we talk?” Cypress asked as he refilled it.

“About?”

“What happened,” Cypress said cautiously.

“I said I was sorry,” Tom replied shortly. “I’m sorry I messed up, okay?”

“No, no, you didn’t mess anything up,” Cypress insisted. “I already told you I’m not upset—”

“I really don’t want to talk about this,” Tom said sharply, drinking heavily and shaking his head. “It was embarrassing and weird, and I really,reallywant to pretend it never happened.”

“We are definitely talking about it,” Cypress argued. “We ended a scene because you used your safe word, and I have no idea why. I need you to talk to me.”

“There is nothing to talk about!” Tom barked, hating how quickly his voice started to rise. “It’s over.”

“Not until you tell me what set you off.” Cypress didn’t even bat an eye at Tom’s tone. “If you have any kind of trigger, something that is going to upset you, I need to know about it so we can avoid it the next time we have a scene—”

“Oh, my God! Do you even hear how crazy that sounds?” Tom finished the wine and brushed by Cypress to put the glass in the sink.

“It’s not crazy to have good communication. It’s essential for the things we do together. Just like everybody else at that party—”

“No, I’m not like those fuckin’ freaks! I’m nothing like them! I can’t fucking do this!” Tom shouted, instantly regretting those words as soon as he said them.

“Freaks?” Cypress crossed his arms and took a step back. “Wow. Pot, meet kettle.”

“I’m so sorry,” Tom said urgently, his anger evaporating in the wake of his anguish. “Fuck, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“No?” Cypress challenged. “Then how did you mean it exactly?”

“I don’t fuckin’ know.” Tom held out his hands helplessly. “I’m still trying to figure all of this out. It’s overwhelming, okay? I feel like a pervert, and we’re doing stuff I would have never done—”

“If I hadn’t been blackmailing you, right?” Cypress cut in.

“Maybe? I don’t know anymore. Yes, okay, it was easy to say you were making me do it… but now…” Tom couldn’t finish the sentence.

“Tom, I think we need some space,” Cypress said suddenly. “These last few days have been really great, but you need some time to get your head right. You still have no idea what you really want.”

“I already told you,” Tom pleaded. “I want you.”

“Really?”

“Yes!”

“Because it’s exciting, right?” Cypress smiled bitterly. “Because it’s new, and it’s fun, but the second you got pushed a little bit out of your comfort zone, you start in with the name calling. I am not going to tolerate you shaming me because you can’t handle—”

“Pushed a little bit? Alittle bit?” Tom gritted his teeth. “You pulled my fuckin’ dick out!”

“I asked you!”

“I wasn’t ready, I’m fucking sorry! But you didn’t stop right away!”

“You didn’t use the safe word! That’s the whole point of having one.”