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Alex stared into the distance. “These past months…

facing the world with you by my side has made me believe I can have the things I thought I could never have again.

You've had to endure…a lot, but you found a way to bend the world to your will. How can I—how could anyone not like you?” He faced Timi, his heart pouring out of his face.

“I want us to finish what we started, and I do not want last night to be the last. ”

Timi couldn't breath, couldn’t move. The suddenness of Alex's confession igniting his entire form amidst the chill engulfing him, and momentarily, all he could feel was an indescribable thrill. Someone like Alex liked him. He hadn’t turned out so badly.

Afraid he might lose his senses if he kept staring into those beautiful eyes gazing at him like he was something invaluable, he sprang to his feet.

“When I chose this job, I knew the risks that came with it,” he said. “The scrutiny. The audacity of fans to think they own you. The crazies who use the lawlessness of social media as an escape from their pathetic lives. I chose this life, but Uncle Jude never did. You never—”

“I don't care,” Alex said, getting up. “I refuse to make a decision based on speculations. You saw the video, my face didn't show. It could fizzle out by tomorrow. Then, what?”

Timi rounded on him. “Don't you get it? The insults…your family, your sister, you…everything could be revealed in a heartbeat. How would your mum take it this time? Your sister…”

“I'm not taking the matter lightly, but I'm not running away because a handful of spindly deluded imbeciles think they're the next Sherlock Holmes.”

“I can't…you have no idea what you're asking for.” Timi shook his head. “This job was temporary when I offered it, now I'm rescinding that offer.”

They stared at each other for a long moment, before Alex said quietly, “And last night? Was that temporary too?”

A vice clamped down on his chest, as he dropped his eyes. “Last night shouldn't have happened.”

“Noble idiocy.”

His eyes snapped back up. “What?”

“The name for what you're doing. Are you an idiot?”

Timi opened and closed his mouth, then sighed.

“How can one correct a lie that has become truth?

We…fucked, Alex. I might as well give Agu what he wants.

It could eventually clear my father's name without me having to make a whole ass statement about how hypocritical I've become.

Sometimes, it is okay to admit you've lost. ”

Something crept into Alex's face. Timi couldn't call it fear because that would be absurd. Alex's throat bobbed in a hard swallow. “We're close. So close. How can you lose what you've already won? Timi, listen to me, you can't—”

“It isn't your business anymore, Alex,” Timi managed to say.

“The hell it isn't!”

Timi took some steps back at the suddenness of Alex's outburst. His composure had crumbled, and a desperate wildness blazed from his eyes.

“Alex…”

“You think you'll survive it? You really believe you'll be able to live? How can you even think of giving up? Haven't you learnt anything at all? You think you can just throw everything away without repercussions?”

Anger bloomed within the shock holding Timi motionless. Giving up had kept him sane. The ability to choose worthy battles was an attribute he patted himself on the head for. What did Alex know about quitting and repercussions? Or about being hated so vocally by half of the country?

A bitter chuckle escaped him. “Why so dramatic? I said I was gonna fuck on screen, not end my life.” He stepped closer. “Or would you rather fuck me instead? You can handle Kirikiri, U.K boy?”

Their gazes held for a long unbearable moment, then without a word, Alex turned around and began descending the hill. On his purple hoodie, the rain had drawn misshapen maps.

Timi's anger deflated. He opened his mouth, not knowing what to say except he couldn't let Alex leave this way. But before words could come, Alex halted, swerved around and headed back up.

Timi stood transfixed, watching the tall man climb until he stood in front of him. And barely had his next breath left his mouth before cold lips knocked it back into his lungs.

His throat emitted a choking sound, as Alex redefined his approach to kissing.

Where last night had been gut-wrenchingly tender, Alex ate his lips like he was dying, and it was his last meal.

The kiss wasn't a reward nor was it passionate.

It was punishing, bruising, despairing, and didn't give Timi a chance to reject it.

They were out in the open, below them was a children's park, and the rain only fell in showers.

Anyone could come up and see them. But Timi didn't give himself the choice to reject either.

Because beneath the savage entangling of their tongues was the awareness it may very well be their last. So, Timi took his own taste until Alex let out a groan and tore his lips away.

He gripped Timi's face in both hands, his eyes, suspiciously red-tinged.

“I lost you,” he said. “How do you expect me to lose you again?”

Timi blinked through his befuddled senses. “How…what are you saying?”

Alex smiled. A chilling deadness. Eyes roving over Timi's face as though to commit every feature to memory. Then, he turned around and began descending.

Through the fading thuds of boots against rock and under the relentless pelts of a now stable downpour, Timi stood, waiting for him to come back.

He waited, and waited, and waited.