Page 10 of The Lady of Red River Valley (Ladies of the Wilderness #2)

“I have. It fits perfectly.”

William smiled, his blue eyes warming with pleasure. “I wish I could offer you something more refined, but—”

“I’m quickly learning that refinement is a luxury. I would rather be comfortable than fashionable.”

“Would that you could be both.” He smiled at her, his keen appreciation softening his features.

The deep sadness that had permeated his countenance since Anne’s death had started to ease around his mouth and eyes.

He had been busy marrying voyageurs to their mixed-race and Indian wives since his arrival, as well as baptizing their children.

Now that there was a real minister in Assiniboia, dozens of people had come to him to legalize their unions.

He had even performed a ceremony between Old John, one of the Hudson’s Bay Company men, and the Widow MacDougal the day before.

He was the first minister in Assiniboia, and he was in demand.

The work had been good for him, and it made Eleanor’s heart happy.

“Are you anxious to reach our winter quarters?” she asked, wanting to change the subject away from the gift he had given her.

“I’ve been told there is a large population of voyageurs and mixed-race peoples at Fort Daer in Pembina. I will be busy marrying and baptizing for some time.”

“As well as preaching and teaching Sunday school,” she reminded him with an encouraging smile.

“And you will start your school when we arrive?” he asked, his attention on her and her alone.

“Yes, as soon as we’re settled.” She was eager to get it started, though she still wondered how it would be received when most of the colonists still avoided her.

“Will it be hard for you, with the care of Miriam?” Concern lined his words. “I would not want you to overwork yourself on my account.”

“I’ve been told Nicolette will join us in Pembina. She will help with Miriam while I teach my classes.”

William nodded, seemingly pleased with the arrangement. “Very good.”

Eleanor wished to ask him about his daughter and the fact that he had not held her yet. It wasn’t her place to push him—but he was the baby’s father, and Miriam needed the love and affection that only he could provide.

She opened her mouth to speak, but Governor Semple rose from the table at that moment and lifted his hands to quiet the room.

“We will leave Fort Douglas at first light,” he said to the group.

“I would recommend that all of you get a good night’s sleep, so we are not encumbered tomorrow.

It will take us three or four days to reach our destination at Fort Daer in the land called Pembina.

” He nodded at them. “I bid you good night.”

The group rose to their feet, several of them picking up sleepy children to take them to their homes in Colony Gardens or their tents within the fort.

William was called away by a family who wished to speak to him about baptizing their children, so Eleanor was left to say good night to Fiona and her family.

The other colonists filed out of the main hall, evading Eleanor as much as possible. She smiled at several of the children and moved out of the way for people to pass her. She tried not to let her face show the heaviness she felt in her heart at their rejection.

“May I see you back to the governor’s house?” Arran asked, suddenly at her side, his voice low and deep.

Eleanor’s lips parted at the unexpected request. It was the first time he’d sought her out since her arrival. She managed to nod but couldn’t find her voice.

He helped her slip into her spencer, which was on a hook near the door, and waited until she placed her bonnet over her curls. He watched her silently as she tied the ribbon under her chin.

“You’ll not survive the winter in that hat or coat.”

“William has purchased a capote for me, with a hood. I shall wear it tomorrow when we leave the fort.”

“William?” He studied her with an unreadable expression. “He’s buying you gifts, then?”

“In exchange for my help,” she said quickly. “For taking care of Miriam.” Why she felt she needed to explain it was a mystery to her. “He also bought several things for the baby.”

Arran didn’t respond but held the door open for her to pass through into the frigid night.

Large snowflakes drifted slowly to the ground and rested on Eleanor’s shoulders.

The air was so cold, and so crisp, she could see her breath fog in front of her face.

The spencer did nothing to keep her warm and she was thankful for William’s forethought in purchasing her a capote. She should have worn it tonight.

“I’ll see that you have mittens and moccasins before we leave in the morning,” Arran said from beside her. “And I’ll inquire if James has leggings for you to wear beneath your dress.”

Despite the cold, Eleanor’s cheeks warmed at the mention of leggings.

A man didn’t discuss what a woman wore under her dress.

But she had to remind herself that they were no longer in England and his words meant that he was thinking of her comfort and safety—that he was thinking of her. “I appreciate your thoughtfulness.”

“You’re ill-prepared and I canna lose another colonist.” He said it so matter-of-factly, any warmth she felt from his forthcoming gifts was cooled.

They walked slowly across the yard, in no hurry to reach the governor’s house.

“What will happen to Duncan Cameron when we leave?” she asked.

Arran looked across the fort yard and shook his head, clearly irritated. “Semple has ordered that he be released in the morning. His aim was to frighten Duncan and let him know who was in control. He spoke to Duncan and the man promised he would not bring any more trouble to the colony.”

“You don’t believe him?”

“Nay.” Arran’s voice was filled with disgust. “He’s charmed Semple, just as he’s charmed all the others. I wouldna trust anything he says.”

“But we’ll be safe at Fort Daer?” She couldn’t hide the concern in her voice.

“Safe enough, for the winter.” Arran’s voice softened. “This is no place for you, as I’ve said, but as the deputy governor, I’ll do everything in my power to protect you, Eleanor. You have my word.”

Despite his reassurance, frustration filled her chest. “I’m tired of you telling me I don’t belong here.”

“You don’t.”

“Did you belong here when you first came as a boy?”

He didn’t respond.

“I might not have experience with this sort of life, but I’m strong and smart, and I’m not afraid to learn.” She no longer cared how he felt about her arrival in Assiniboia. “Please do not discredit me now, before I’ve even had a chance to prove myself to you.”

“You have nothing to prove, Eleanor.” His jaw was tight as he spoke to her. “I simply want to spare you—”

“I do have something to prove, if not to you, then to myself.” She was amazed at how different Assiniboia was from the life she’d always known—yet it did not intimidate her.

“My life in England is dead and I’ve had time to mourn that loss.

God has given me the opportunity to start over, here, with these people.

I might not have a great deal to offer them, but what I do have, I will give with all my heart.

” She looked deep into his dark brown eyes, wanting him to finally hear her.

“What is a life, if it’s not spent well, on things that truly matter?

My life in England meant little to me or anyone else outside my home.

But here.” A tremulous smile lifted her lips.

“Here, I might be of real use. I might have a purpose and contribute to something bigger than myself.” She would convince the colonists that education was necessary and see that all the children were enrolled in her school, proving to Arran that she was needed.

Wanted. “If it’s your dream,” she said to him, “then why can’t it be my dream, as well? Why am I exempt, because I am a woman?”

“’Tis not because you are a woman, but because I canna abide the idea of watching you suffer.

” His words came out fast and fierce. “I ken what I speak of, lass. This land doesna care who you are, or whether you are strong or weak. It destroys without discrimination. You may be bold and courageous now, but it willna matter in the end.” He shook his head.

“You are brave, and you want to make a difference, but I lost you once.” He paused, his careful facade slipping for the first time since her arrival.

“I canna lose you to death, once and for all.”

Eleanor inhaled a surprised breath. Snow had gathered on his shoulders and hat and continued to fall all around him. “I’m sorry about what happened between us in St. Mary’s Isle—”

“I dinna want to speak of it.”

“But we must. I didn’t want to hurt you.”

He moved past her and walked to the governor’s front door.

“Arran, I want you to understand.”

“I do understand.”

“No.” She met him at the door. “My father was desperate to save our estate, and I was unable to tell him no. He would have never allowed us to marry.”

“It doesna matter now.” His face was devoid of emotion. “I shouldna asked you to marry me. I was a fool.”

The fort yard was quiet as the snow fell silently. “You were not a fool. I was honored by your proposal. Knowing that you had loved me, even if for only a short time, sustained me through the hardest days of my life. For that, I’m truly grateful.”

Something shifted in his gaze, and she saw a glimpse of the man she’d fallen in love with in Scotland. But just as quickly, it disappeared and in its place was the same wall of indifference.

“Those days are gone now,” he said. “I’m not the man I once was.”

Eleanor nodded. “You’re right. You’re an even better version of that man now. I see it in the way you care for the people of this settlement. They look to you with deep and abiding respect, just as I do.”

He let out a rush of air. “What do you want from me, lass? Why did you truly come?”

She blinked several times, afraid and embarrassed to admit that she had come to tell him she still loved him, especially now that she knew it would be impossible to have a future together.

He had put her out of his heart for good.

So, she said the only thing that made sense.

The only thing she could request. “I want to be friends again.”

He lowered his chin and looked at their feet for a moment.

She held her breath, hoping and praying he would not reject her once again.

Slowly, he lifted his gaze to her and nodded. “Aye. We can be friends.”

Warmth filled Eleanor’s chest. She’d missed him terribly and longed for more, but being friends was better than nothing at all.

“But I will insist you’re on a boat back to England in the spring,” he said. “I will personally see that ’tis done.”

The warmth she’d felt began to cool.

She had no intention of returning to England. She’d cast her lot with the colonists and their education. She would stay—whether Arran MacLean wanted her or not.