Page 9

Chapter 9

Lillian

D eep breaths, Lillian. Just like your therapist taught you. In, two three four, hold two three four, out two three four.

And again.

Okay.

Alright.

This is…fine.

I drowned in Lake Superior. I was rescued by some ancient god monster in the depths of the lake. I’ve got gills now, that’s fun.

And I’m apparently the smokin’ hottenest thing this sexy Viking octopus shifter has ever seen.

Cool.

Cool cool cool.

In, two three four…

Cool.

You’re quiet.

I’m thinking, I snap, and then immediately regret the anger in my tone. Isn’t this square breathing thing supposed to calm me down? Hack my central nervous system or something?

Maybe my central nervous system is different now that I have fucking gills!

Ah, fuck. I’m losing it.

I just–I need a minute to process, okay?

Erik, supposed gentleman that he is, nods and steps back a bit to give me some semblance of privacy in this dark, spooky underwater cave.

I drift back to my little nest of weeds and try to hide myself behind the drifting flora.

This is fine. This is cool. I just got into a fight with my best friend in the whole world and swam myself into some cursed existence with Erik here. I’d say this is some weird sex dream, but I already had one of those, and I’m pretty damn sure I woke up from that to find Mr. Tattoos and Golden Hair staring deeply into my eyes.

Which means this is real. And I’ll likely never see Tiffany or Dean or anyone from my old life ever again.

Are you hungry?

I peek out from my weeds to see Erik floating there, still naked as the day he was born, offering me a flat rock with some sashimi on it.

It’s Walleye. My favorite. I find that sometimes assuaging my hunger helps my mind clear.

Amazing. Not only is he muscly and deep-voiced and dreamy and well-spoken and is obviously attracted to me (if his still rock-solid dick is any indication), but he also cooks.

Cooks!

I shuffle out of my makeshift corner and give him what I hope is a look of gratitude. Thank you. I don’t remember the last time I ate.

Or how much time has even passed since I left the shore. How long was I out? Did I actually die? Do I have brain damage? Is all of this really some elaborate hallucination, and I’m actually in a coma right now in some hospital in rural Michigan?

Eat, human. You will need your strength.

Erik flinches at the voice of what I can only assume is the monster. That rumbly, heady voice that makes my insides clench and wriggle at the same time, like some kind of sexy cramp.

Sexy cramp? Yeesh. Maybe I do have brain damage.

That’s the last time I let myself read monster romances before a swim. I swear, a minute ago, when that… thing took over Erik and hovered over me while growling like some feral animal, it was like I turned into a monster. Like he was pulling something out of me that’s been dormant my whole life, and now that it’s awake, wants to devour everything in its path.

Okay, so let me get this straight. I start shoveling fish into my mouth as I telepath my thoughts. That’s one nice thing about this new fancy way of speaking: no worries about talking with your mouth full! You’re human, like me, but you have a monster inside you that sometimes takes over your body?

My companion shifts uncomfortably. Usually, I can keep Him under control, but yes. He can inhabit my body and change my form.

How so?

There’s a slight pause while I finish up the fish on my rock plate. I’ve never been one for sushi, but it’s shockingly good. Fresh and clean tasting, with a texture that doesn’t have any of the chewiness that I usually associate with California rolls. I consider licking the rock clean for a second before thinking better of it.

Just because I’m a cavewoman now doesn’t mean I have to act like one.

I’ve never seen His true form, but I have felt it. He is squid-like in nature, but I am unsure whether or not he has a human torso of his own. Although he sometimes leaves my top half intact. It is often easier to navigate the lake waters in his form than my own.

So like, a mermaid but with tentacles? I clarify.

He winces. Yes. Tentacles.

I take a minute to imagine what he must look like half-transformed. Like Ursula, from The Little Mermaid, but with a young, blonde King Triton on top.

I don’t hate it.

That’s kinda hot.

Erik ponders this. There is a warm sensation in my stomach when I shift, I suppose, although I have never really thought about it.

I feel myself blush. Fuck. This guy really has been alone for a millennia, hasn’t he?

Alone and tormented. Poor guy lost his family, his whole village, in a terrible monster attack, and has been forced to live with the lover of the thing that killed everyone he knew.

I don’t think there’s enough square breathing in the world to fix that kind of trauma.

So what exactly does He want with me?

You are to be my mate.

Fuck. So I did hear that right the first time.

Erik closes his eyes and furrows his brow, and I can see his chest rise and fall as he works to suppress the other voice. I’ve seen him do that a few times now. Whenever the monster speaks, his eyes flash an unnatural blue. Then, they flicker back and forth between that haunting glowy cyan and the familiar gray, before he eventually gains back control.

The curse requires that He fertilize a brood before He can leave my body. For as long as He doesn’t breed, He is stuck with me. And I, Him.

Oh.

I have tried to find another way. I have even tried to starve myself in an effort to break this awful connection, thinking that perhaps in death I would be free. But it is impossible. He says this is the only way.

I blink as his words sink in. This isn’t just for some ancient monster with a breeding kink. This is for Erik, too.

Erik, who’s been stuck in this cave for a thousand years at the mercy of some all-powerful sea monster, unable to move on or even die.

My lover and I traveled here eons ago to avoid destruction. In the waters where we originated, there were humans who sought to destroy us. So we fled.

I saved this human. I believe my lover saved you. But for some reason, she has not returned to me since I inhabited this body.

Wait a minute, I interrupt. How is it that She was able to save me without taking over my body, but you needed to take over Erik to save him?

The man’s eyes flicker back to gray for a moment, and I assume he’s also interested in the answer. Is it even possible for me to still be human after all of this, or is that goddess–Keto–inside me after all?

Simple. I was weakened in the battle in which Erik’s people perished. Compared to Keto, I have always been less powerful. Her influence is subtle, yet mighty. And her physical form is a magnificent force. We have both grown weaker with time, but she is still fearsome in her abilities. When we escaped, she was carrying our brood. She was protective of them. As was I.

She saw the human ship as a threat. She attacked. The humans attacked back. I protected her.

I suffered many wounds from the battle. I needed a new body to recover. Erik’s body. But this form is incompatible with hers.

The time approaches that her eggs will die, without a proper mate to carry them. We need you, Lillian.

To be your…surrogate?

A low rumble, reminiscent of a hum, fills the cavern as Phorkys considers. Yes, I believe that is the most appropriate word.

So, you need me to–what, put her eggs inside my hoo-ha somehow and heat ‘em up for a few months? I shake my head incredulously. How would that even work?

The glowing blue of Erik’s eyes intensifies, and suddenly his lower half is changing. His legs elongate and split into multiples of four, and even his penis shifts into a long, suckerless tentacle that reaches towards me.

My eyes widen as I take in his half-shifted form, his piercing cyan gaze locking onto mine as the monster’s voice whispers into my brain.

Would you like me to show you?

No!

Our staring contest is broken abruptly as his eyes clamp shut and Erik shakes his head. When he opens them again, they are that clear, human gray, and they look at me pleadingly.

You do not know what you are asking! He insists. The monster wants to breed. He wants to fill you with his eggs, needs you to incubate His children in your human womb. To be a mother to a pack of monsters! We cannot know what we will release to the world, Lillian…

My heart clenches as I see the salty tears form on Erik’s lashes, only to dissolve into the water around us.

He’s fought for thousands of years to keep these gods from unleashing their young. If I agree, it would be against his wishes. Against everything he’s worked tirelessly to prevent.

You would rather live like this, forever? I ask him.

The electric blue flickers feebly in his eyes, the muscles in his neck tensing as he struggles to maintain control.

We’re closer now, close enough that I can cup my hand to his cheek. Feel the clenching of his jaw again and again beneath my fingers.

His hands grasp at my back, and he pulls me flush against him. My chest touches his, and a soundless gasp pushes past his lips in a flutter of bubbles. His fingers flex against my back, digging into my flesh, while his still-transformed bottom half explores my ankles and legs tentatively.

I wrap my other arm around his neck, and I can feel the struggle inside him. His hips jerk unnaturally, and I look down to see his human form slowly wrestling control back over his body.

His fingernails sink deeper into my back, so hard I can feel the half-moon indentations his nails are making in my skin. I gasp, and that seems to be enough to snap him to attention. In a flash, he’s human again, pushing me away and breathing heavily through the gills flaring across his neck, his chest rising and falling rapidly with the effort.

You are not safe here, he says, and I can hear the straining in his voice.

Erik–

Go!

The command bursts like a gunshot in my mind, and instinct takes over. I kick off from the cave floor and push out the entrance, seizing what could be my only chance to escape.