Page 11

Chapter 11

Erik

F or hours after Lillian leaves, I stare at my hands. My wicked, evil hands that carved crescents into her soft skin when I could not control the monster’s influence. Hours, and I am still shaking. Still clenching my entire body, using every muscle to wrest myself back, until I am sure that every bone, tendon, and muscle is completely mine.

But that is the rub, is it not? It will never be mine. For as long as I resist, I will always have to. And there is no guarantee that I will continue to succeed.

One woman already died because of me. Am I doomed to condemn another? When will it end?

Your self-flagellation grows tiresome, Erik.

What would you know of guilt? Anger burns in my wordless throat, and I thrust my clenched fist against the cave wall. Bits of rock and shell float mockingly around me, drifting lazily to the lake bed, and I tremble at my own impotence. Why did you do this to me?

The burden of repetition should not be on me if you are unable to listen. I saved your body in a moment of weakness. It is done. I have told you how to undo it, and you refuse. I have no pity for you, human; the continuation of this curse is on you and you alone.

How can you expect me to–

I, too, would love nothing more than to retreat into myself and mourn the loss of my lover. But an eternity is a long time to dwell in self-pity.

I want to protest, but his words give me pause. I forget that Phorkys is a god, and as such, he has lived many lifetimes longer than me. Even with my unnaturally extended lifespan.

Defeated, I return to my hunting grounds to find fish for the night. And then I retire fitfully.

The next day, it feels as if the monster has, in fact, retreated somewhat from my mind. His voice is more subdued than usual as I gather firewood for my shelter on the lagoon and hunt for the day’s meal. Summer is approaching its end; the nights already grow too cold to pass comfortably on land. It is time once again to prepare for winter: killing game and drying meat for energy reserves, stacking plenty of wood for the weeks I will spend on the surface. While I know I shall lose many nights to my other form in the depths of the lake, it comforts me to have the option of a log edifice and a crackling fire when homesickness strikes.

This land is so very beautiful when it snows.

I work up a sweat splitting logs to cure for next year, and I dip back into the waters to wash myself as the sun passes midday. It is then that a wave of unease laps at my stomach.

Erik!

The monster’s voice is different—a note akin to panic creeping into its deep rumble as it warns me.

She is in danger!

Who? I ask, an uncomfortable symphony of confusion and dread swirling in my mind. It is impossible to know just what is mine and what is the monster’s.

Lillian!

Though the water is not cold enough to warrant it, my shoulders tense as an icy shiver runs down my spine. What is happening? Where is the danger?

North… north of here. On the other end of the island. I can feel her fear.

Lillian’s?!

Keto’s. The voice pauses, and another flash of confusion spikes the flurry of words and thoughts. Erik, you must save her!

Certainly you could simply save her yourself without my permission?

My powers are weak on land. My control of you cannot persist there. Erik! Please!

Please?

You would beg me?

My Keto is afraid, Erik. I do not have a choice.

But I do.

I hesitate, ignoring the pleading terror gripping my heart, and instead pan for what remains of my conscience.

Lillian is in danger. Phorkys’s mate fears for her life which means she too, believes that Lillian is necessary to break the curse. These two have never been closer to unleashing their brood onto the world, and her death would delay that.

I feel an unexpected pang at the thought of Lillian dying. But I know first hand just how devastating it can be to survive, only to be a puppet dancing on the strings of gods. What life could she possibly live after this? The only fate that would be left to her would be the same as mine, destined to wander the small islands of this inland sea, hunting for game and prowling the waters.

Unless she is unable to resist the pull of Phorkys after all, and lets her body be used for his unnatural ends.

I am about to refuse, when a scene flashes before me. Yellow eyes, predator eyes, and a vicious growl as a coyote stalks toward me, baring its teeth…

Erik! Save her!

And in that moment, it isn’t Phorkys’ fear I feel, but Lillian’s. I know, because it is littered with unfamiliar exclamations like, “fuckingfuck!” and “holyfuckingshit!”. Words that are odd and fuzzy in my head, but nonetheless filled with terror.

Lillian!

I dive forward, and my lower half unspools into its many-tentacled form as I blaze through the water, heading north. Praying I am not too late…