Page 48 of The Illusion of Power (Passion and Politics #1)

“Jordan, if I talk to a member of the press tonight, I will intentionally set fire to this entire charade and smile as the ashes rain down on your head.”

For the second time today, we find ourselves locked in a standoff, and for the second time today, I win. The taste of victory only lasts for a second, though, ending with a bitter note when Jordan waves over the first agent she sees and orders him and his partner to take me back to the hotel.

“Stay with her,” she says.

Cal nods. “Yes, ma’am.”

“We won’t let her leave our sight,” Beck promises.

After so many days obsessing over and being mad at them, I want to feel nothing about being around them again.

Instead, I feel everything. The press of safety that only exists for me when it’s the three of us.

The heavy weight of desire sitting low in my stomach.

The searing burn of their rejection and subsequent abandonment.

All of it comes spilling out when we’re back at the hotel, alone in my suite, and Cal sets twin pools of copper and brass on my face from across the room.

Beck is looking at me too, puddles of onyx warming my skin as they ghost over my features.

We’re all standing. Me, lingering near the door of my bedroom.

Them, just a few feet apart in the living area with their hands in their pockets.

“What’s wrong?” Cal asks. “Why did you need to leave the debate?”

“Did someone else approach you?” Beck hedges. “Did they hurt you?”

“Would you care?”

Beck’s head rears back. “Is that a serious question? Of course, we’d care.”

“Yes, it’s a serious question,” I snap, my patience paper thin. “I’m not playing coy. I’m asking because I can’t reconcile the apparent worry on display now with the behavior of the last few days.”

“Apparent worry,” he repeats, lifting up on his tip toes and then rocking back on his heels. “ Wow. ”

Cal takes a few steps forward, offering himself up as a mediator. “Our concern is genuine, Selene, and as for our behavior over the last few days, we were just giving you some space because we thought you were…”

He gazes heavenward, searching for the right term.

“Disgusted,” Beck supplies.

“Disgusted?” I repeat. “Why would you think that?”

He rubs at the back of his neck. “Because you saw us kissing and ran away. What were we supposed to think?”

“I don’t know.” My shoulder rises and then falls, the muscles heavy from all the tension I’ve been carrying. “Not that, though. Never that.”

This conversation isn’t going how any of us thought it would. I can tell by the way Cal and Beck keep looking at each other, having those non-verbal conversations they’re so good at, by the way I keep pushing down the hope trying to bloom in my chest because it feels premature.

“Describe it for us then.” Cal murmurs, still inching closer to me while Beck lingers in the distance. “What did you feel when you saw us together?”

“ Jealous .”

The admission tumbles out of my mouth and lands on the floor between Cal and I. He turns his head slowly, looking at Beck. They have another silent exchange, and when Cal turns back to me, his eyes have dissolved into liquid heat.

“Tell me more, pet,” he purrs, and the command combined with the nickname and the shrinking measure of his proximity creates the perfect conditions for uninhibited honesty.

I bite my bottom lip as his smoked spice scent invades my nostrils.

“I was caught off guard at first, but then…” All of my thoughts fall away once Cal is finally in front of me.

There are millimeters between the hardened peaks of my nipples and the defined lines of his pectorals, and even that disappears when my chest starts to heave as a result of his hands on my waist.

His touch is firm, but gentle, and I melt into him, whimpering as his palms skate over my hips, ribs, the sides of my breasts and the column of my neck before stopping at my jaw. There’s a tenderness to his callused palms as he cradles my face, tipping it up so I have to meet his eye.

“But then, what?”

“Then I was turned on,” I breathe, shuddering when Cal’s dick pulses against my stomach. “I wanted to be between you, a part of your connection, not on the outside of it.” A low, rumbling chuckle breaks free from his chest, and my brows pull together. “Why is that funny?”

“Because for months now, we’ve been building our world around you, Selene. Your smile. Your laugh. Your wants and needs. You aren’t just a part of our connection, pet, you’re the center of it.”

My heart is so full it’s close to bursting, and then Cal brings his lips to mine and it does exactly that.

The world implodes, morphing into a bright symphony of color and sensation that I allow myself to get lost in.

I’m overwhelmed in the best way, but not so much that I can’t hear Beck behind us.

The gasp he releases sounds like the one I let hit the air in Houston that night.

I laugh at that as I break Cal’s kiss and peer over his shoulder, extending a hand toward Beck.

He stares at the invitation but stays glued to his spot.

His reluctance sends a spark of fear through me, making me wonder if we all want this, and I look to Cal for guidance.

He drags his gaze away from my face, trading my wide, fearful eyes for Beck’s low, hooded ones.

Something passes between them. A kind of understanding that comes from years of knowing each other, of loving each other, in theory and praxis.

I want that knowledge, but I don’t have it yet.

Cal’s eyes are back on my face, they’re darker now, a blanket of need cast over the rich shades of brown. He brushes his thumb over my lip. “Don’t ask. Tell. ”

It’s a simple directive that makes my thighs clench. The thought of ordering Beck around is thrilling, but it’s also scary. I trust that Cal is right about what he needs, but I don’t feel confident in my ability to give it to him successfully. I don’t want to fail.

“I can’t.”

My need to be perfect before I think about trying something used to be a regular point of contention between Aubrey and I, especially in our sex life.

He’d want me to dive head first into new kinks and role play scenarios with no information, instruction or confidence.

When I’d refuse, he’d get pissed and accuse me of ruining the moment.

I watch Cal’s face as he processes my dissent, searching for signs of disappointment or annoyance and coming up empty.

A slow, menacingly carnal smile spreads across his face. “Don’t worry, pet. I’ll teach you,” he says, dropping one hand from my cheek and extending it in Beck’s direction.

Now, we’re both reaching for our hesitant third, asking him to join us so we can finally indulge in this thing we’ve been running from for so long.