Page 26 of The Illusion of Power (Passion and Politics #1)

“She’s ten,” Beck says when I’m quiet for too long, and Selene’s eyes shift away from mine, presumably to hold his gaze. She smiles, and it’s a small, genuine thing that adds a dreamy quality to her already ethereal features.

“Ten is a good age. They still have a lot to learn about the world, but they’re also capable of teaching you so much. It’s a beautiful exchange, if you know how to appreciate it.”

Her wistful tone leaves no doubt in my mind that she’s speaking from experience.

That she’s thinking of every bit of knowledge she gleaned from the son she lost when he was only a few years older than Riley is now.

Neither Beck nor I responds. I don’t know what to say, and the pulsing of his jaw tells me he’s mind is on the fact that he never got to know or appreciate the gift or challenges that come along with any age.

I’m not sure which is worse. Being robbed of the possibility of a life before you could ever hold it, or spending fourteen years nurturing a spirit, only to have it ripped away.

As I look between the two grieving parents, I decide that there is no better or worse.

There’s only the bitter fruit of their misfortune, and my burning desire to stand between them and more pain.

“Yeah, Riley is a great kid,” I offer, my voice rough with emotion. “She’s smart and headstrong.”

“The girl has an opinion on everything,” Beck adds. I’m shocked that he’s still participating in the conversation, but I don’t let it show.

“AJ was the same way. He came out of the womb judging everything and everybody.” Her eyes are back on me now. “My mama always says whatever personality they’re born with is the one they keep. Was Riley the same way?”

My mind tries to conjure thoughts of a baby Riley, but I come up empty because the sad truth is I never got to see it.

“I’m not sure. I only just met her a few months ago.”

Selene’s face falls. “Oh. Why? ”

There’s genuine confusion wrinkling the usually smooth skin between her brows as if she really can’t think of a single explanation for my absence from Riley’s life.

“Because my brother, Hunter, didn’t know that she existed until recently. We didn’t grow up together and haven’t always been close, so I was one of the last people he shared the news with.”

It’s a short statement to summarize a long, sordid story about Hunter’s struggle with addiction that led to his girlfriend leaving him when she found out she was pregnant and coming back into his life years later to reveal that they had a daughter.

I don’t feel the need to elaborate on it because it’s not really my story to tell.

“I’m sorry,” she says, wincing slightly. “I probably shouldn’t have asked you that.”

“It’s okay,” I assure her.

And it is because I know Riley now, and our mutual love for her has become a bridge that Hunter and I have used to find our way to each other.

For years, we’ve been the only real family the other has had, and still, we walked through the world alone, holding each other responsible for our father’s sins.

Before I left New Haven this summer, we sat down and had a long talk about Nicholas Drake and all the ways he contributed to the rift between us.

I admitted to resenting Hunter for getting all the time and attention I stopped receiving when he abandoned me and my mom.

Hunter confessed to hating me for always being the perfect, older son he was constantly compared to.

We both realized that we had never had a chance to truly know or love each other, and we promised to do better. And we are doing better, not just for Riley, but for the two little boys inside us who still need each other.

“Sibling relationships can be hard,” Selene offers, twisting her lips to the side thoughtfully. “My sisters and I aren’t all that close, and we did grow up together.”

No part of me is willing to leave her admission hanging in the air, so I meet it with a question I’ve been wanting to know the answer to for some time.

“Has it always been that way, or has life gotten in the way?”

By life, I mean Aubrey. Selene isn’t a weak-willed woman, so I know one man couldn’t keep her away from her family, but Aubrey isn’t just a man. He’s a political animal with a single-minded machine behind him. It would be easy for anyone’s needs and desires to be overlooked and disregarded by it.

“It’s always been that way,” she says, shrugging. “They exist inside this bubble with my mom that I constantly find myself outside of.”

Beck shifts in his seat, his eyes flitting to the rear view mirror to catch a glimpse of Selene’s face as she unknowingly speaks directly to the child inside of him who spent the formative years of his life feeling the exact same way.

Before he was adopted, several of his placements had him living with families that had biological children who never let him forget he was the outsider.

For him, that hell ended when he found two people who took him in and made him their entire world, but Selene is still there.

Alone. Apart. Other.

He turns his head, his gaze snagging on mine, and I see the words I used to describe Selene earlier dancing behind his eyes as reluctant understanding etches itself into his features. It’s not approval, not by any stretch of the imagination, but it’s something.

The car slows as we approach the blockade around the venue.

Beck rolls down his window, and we both present our credentials.

We’re waved through quickly, driving the short distance between the gate and the back door Selene will enter through in silent observation of the vulnerabilities divulged over the course of the ride.

When Beck parks, I exit the vehicle first, moving to Selene’s door to let her out.

I offer her my hand, and she takes it even though she doesn’t really need it, allowing me to pull her out.

I take a step back to give her space to gather herself, watching with vivid interest as she smooths the hand that’s not in mine over the jacket of her pale, yellow pantsuit and squares her shoulders like she’s preparing to take on the world all on her own.

It takes me a single second to realize that, in a way, she’s about to do exactly that.

Her husband isn’t here. Her parents and siblings are hours away.

I can’t help but wonder if any of them have called to offer their congratulations or sent a text with words of encouragement to soothe any last-minute nerves.

I’m not sure, and since I can’t be certain, I’m unable to fight back the urge to offer some up myself.

Selene begins to pull away, and I hold her tighter when I absolutely should be letting go.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Beck rounding the car, and his questioning gaze is heavy and heated as it burns into the side of my face.

Selene’s is equally hot and just as confused, but she doesn’t try to break free.

She just stands there, waiting patiently for me to do or say something to justify the delay.

Suddenly, I’m nervous, and my voice tries to shake as I lend it to the only words that feel appropriate to say to her right now.

“You should be so proud of yourself.”