Page 56 of The Honeymoon Affair

He looks slightly uncomfortable at the mention of her, and I decide not to pursue it. Instead I ask if he knows anything about the girl next door now.

‘Not a thing,’ he replies cheerfully.

‘It’s funny how you can feel so deeply for someone and then suddenly it’s over,’ I remark. ‘Thanks,’ I add, as the gin and tonic I ordered earlier is placed in front of me. I ask Charles what he’d like to drink, and he asks for a G&T too.

‘Are you over your ex-fiancé?’ he asks.

I’d told him all about Steve when we were at the White Sands.

‘Definitely,’ I say, ignoring the fact that I haven’t deleted him from my contacts yet. ‘I wish I hadn’t wasted so much of my time on him.’

‘How was it wasted?’ asks Charles.

I consider this for a moment before telling him that I’d thought Steve and I were putting in the work for something long-term. If he hadn’t asked me to marry him, I could’ve been out there looking for someone else.

‘There has to be someone else, does there? You’re not interested in simply living your life as a unique person?’

‘I was perfectly happy being a unique person before I met him,’ I reply. ‘He changed everything. And not that I’m looking at every man as a potential partner, but there could’ve been someone out there who passed me by because I was with Steve. I realise it does make me sound a bit needy,’ I add, after a brief pause when Charles says nothing. ‘But I’m not, honestly.’

‘I was just curious. You seem to be a very independent person. There’s no need to explain yourself to me.’

‘What about you?’ I ask, when I’ve finished processing the fact that I felt it necessary to explain myself to him at all.

‘What about me?’

‘Do you feel you wasted time on your marriage, or was it worth it?’

He thinks for a moment before replying.

‘Obviously the whole thing is a bit tricky because of knowing her professionally first,’ he says. ‘That part certainly wasn’t a waste of time. She’s amazing.’

I say nothing.

‘I thought we were in love,’ he continues. ‘I wanted us to be in love. I think she did too. I’m just not entirely sure we really were.’

‘You mean you liked the idea of it?’

‘It seemed right, that’s all.’

‘Were you happy?’

‘We broke up, which speaks for itself. But for a while we were happy,’ he concedes. ‘So I suppose our marriage wasn’t a waste of time either.’

‘She’s an attractive woman,’ I say.

‘What?’ He looks at me in astonishment. ‘How do you even know what she looks like?’

‘Google,’ I said. ‘You really are hopeless about googling people, aren’t you? I found her website. And earlier I saw a picture of you and her at an awards ceremony. There isn’t much out there,’ I add. ‘I guess she’s not as important as you. Though information on you is surprisingly limited for someone so famous.’

‘It’s a little disconcerting to think of you googling me,’ says Charles.

‘Why wouldn’t I? You’re famous.’

He looks pleased at that, then asks whether if he googled me he would see pictures of me standing on top of a pile of seized drugs.

‘Nope,’ I reply. ‘But there are probably some awful ones of me on social media.’

‘I never think to check people out,’ says Charles. ‘At least not people I meet socially. Other authors, yes, of course, to see if they’ve sold more than me, but random acquaintances . . . never.’