Page 112 of The Honeymoon Affair

I tell him I’ve been talking to Sydney and she hasn’t seen any more major changes to be made in his novel.

‘Praise the Lord,’ he says.

‘No. Praise me.’

He grins.

‘D’you think it would be naff to have my wedding in the garden?’ he asks suddenly.

‘Charles, I really don’t want to discuss your wedding.’

‘Why not?’ He looks surprised ‘I thought you’d be interested. And pleased to get me off your hands.’

‘You’re not on my hands any more,’ I say. ‘At least, not in the personal sense.’

‘D’you think there’s a chance we could make a drama series out of A Caribbean Calypso?’ He veers from the personal to the professional again.

‘I’m not sure it lends itself to an entire series.’

‘They could use the main character in other settings, though. It’d be fantastic. I’m sure you could sell it if you try hard enough.’

I think again about murdering him, and wonder how Janice Jermyn would plot it.

‘Iseult’s mum is anxious for her to set a date.’ Charles returns to the subject of his wedding. ‘She and her husband will be back from their cruise soon. I’ll have to meet them.’ He grins. ‘The future son-in-law meeting the parents-in-law. A great dramatic moment.’

‘I’m sure you’ll get on fine,’ I say.

‘We did on FaceTime.’ He drains his coffee and then goes back to the machine to make another. ‘Are you in bad form?’ he asks. ‘You seem snarky.’

‘I was a long time waiting for my sandwich,’ I reply.

‘Sorry,’ he says again, although without a hint of apology in his voice.

‘What’s the situation with Iseult’s ex-fiancé?’ I wasn’t going to bring it up, but I’m pissed off with Charles and want to annoy him. I’m perversely glad to see his face darken.

‘He’s holed up in her house waiting for her to come home,’ he replies. ‘She should’ve told him to eff off.’

‘I would’ve.’

‘I know. But Iseult is such a softie.’

‘Is she? I’m sure you don’t get to be a customs officer by being soft.’

‘I presume she does her job well. But personally I think she was too soft in letting her ex stay with her,’ he admits. ‘I don’t like that he managed to persuade her just because he cracked a rib or something.’

‘You’re jealous?’

‘A bit.’

‘It’s not your best character trait.’ I click on my computer screen. ‘Anything else?’

‘No.’

‘In that case, can you take a hike? I’m really busy.’

‘All right, all right. It was just . . .’

‘What?’