Page 8

Breaking Through

Ella

H ell.

This was Hell.

I wasn’t even talking about the place I was in, but more like the personal Hell I was living through.

I didn’t even know how long it had been as time seemed to be endless.

I was still trapped within my own mind, playing passenger in this train wreck of the life the other me was living.

Of course, I continued to try and take control but the most I had accomplished was pissing her off.

Something that was obvious when Anástasi would grab her head and scream for me to leave her alone.

But then I could also tell she was exhausted and it was no wonder with the shit that Garmr was making her do.

He’d had her working non-stop at bringing back all those souls in the mountain, creating such an immense army, I honestly didn’t know how they were ever to be defeated.

If I thought our odds were bad before, then now they seemed unfathomable.

As for my shitshow situation, it still felt weird referring to myself in a third person but when I was helpless to stop her and had no control, then in my eyes, she was now the enemy.

And speaking of the enemy, she was currently pacing inside the room, as if restless and irritated.

This was after she had fainted from exhaustion again in the caves where Garmr had no choice but to carry her back to the bedroom.

“Yeah, well I would be pissed off as well if I was being used as a fucking weapon!” I snapped, making her groan and hold her head as if she could hear me.

But this was something I was noticing happening far more recently, making me wonder if it was because she was so tired.

As if her walls at being able to block me out were crumbling more and more each day.

“Can anyone say, Little Miss Muggings.” I sniggered because I swear, bullying myself had become my only pastime.

“But then you probably don’t know what that means, so let me spell it out for you. S.T.U.P.I.D what do we get, STUPID!’ ”I shouted, making her suddenly shout,

“STOP!” I started laughing at this point before telling her,

“Why would I do that? It’s my body you stole’ .’

At this she walked over to the cracked mirror where I could see myself.

“I stole nothing!” she said and I had to say, I was shocked. Because she may have responded to me a few times before, but this felt different. As if we were about to have an actual conversation.

“I am Ella and I don’t care if my first life used to be you, this is wrong!’ ”I told her, making her frown.

“I am and always will be, Anástasi.”

I scoffed at that and told her,

“Yeah, ‘cause that first life worked out so well for you.”

“This is my destiny,” she argued, and I laughed without humor once again, and no doubt not for the last time.

“Yeah, so why is it your sister risked her life to get you away from that asshole uncle of yours?”

At this she turned her face away and told me tensely,

“She did it to protect me, but it was a mistake.”

“No, the only mistake she made was trusting you would be strong enough to see the truth!” I threw back at her, making her mock,

“Ha, and what do you know about truth!?”

“A fuck load more than you, that’s for damn sure! Just like I know that Garmr has been lying to you. That all he cares about is using you to build his armies ,” I told her.

“That’s not true! The rest of Hell, the ones that rule it are the ones who want to use me! The last battle proved that when that HellBeast tried to kidnap me for them.”

At this I actually got angry enough that something in me must have broken through. As suddenly my fury built enough that I made her punch her hand into the mirror.

“LIES! That HellBeast is mine! He is our Fated and YOU, you tried to kill him, you BITCH!” I screamed, making her cry out as if my voice had rattled her mind.

She was also in utter shock at what I had managed to do, as she pulled her fist from the broken shards and brought her shaky hand down to look at.

The blood seeping through the cuts causing her eyes to grow wide.

“Impossible,” she uttered, making me practically growl at her,

“Clearly not! And I swear if I get the chance, I will slit that fucker’s throat the second I can! You can’t keep me locked away inside this mind forever! I would rather kill both of us than let you hurt innocent people!”

She continued to look shocked before defending herself.

“I only hurt those that wish to do me harm!”

“Oh, so the HellBeast hit you, did he? Attacked you, hurt you?” I threw at her, making her flinch back as if I had struck her. You could see her now playing it back in her mind as her eyes frantically looked elsewhere. Every second of the fight, she was reliving through her memories.

“He would have hurt me,” she responded weakly, as if she doubted her own words.

“Ha! You don’t sound so sure of yourself there, because from where I was watching, it was you attacking him, hurting him, trying to kill him!” I shouted, getting angrier with every word and with it, she took more steps away from the mirror as if afraid of what I might have the power to make her do.

“Be quiet!” she tried, but I’d had enough.

“You are the only one hurting people!”

“No… No, that’s… that’s not true,” she stammered, making me sneer,

“Just like Lerna! Just like our sister!”

At this she shook her head and argued in a weak tone,

“That’s not true, I love my sister… I tried to protect her.”

“Lies! But you know who did protect her… the HellBeast,” I said, dousing her doubt under an ocean of truth. Truth she still tried to deny.

“No! that’s not true!”

“Yes it is… that’s where she is now, with the good guys trying to find a way to save you from Garmr, just like last time, trying to save your ass because you won’t do the right thing and try and save yourself for once!

” I argued, pushing her more and more, hoping that eventually something I said would snap her out of her delusions.

“Stop talking! Stop talking!” she pleaded, but she would get no such pity from me.

“And now you betrayed her by falling right back into Garmr’s control!

” I said, making her walk further away from her own reflection, as if it was me she was looking at, no longer herself.

She continued to back away right up until her knees hit the edge of the bed.

But I couldn’t stop, I didn’t think I ever would when I lashed out at her,

“Because you are weak!” I shouted, making her stammer,

“Stop it… stop it!”

“No, I will never stop! You will never shut me up and I am going to haunt you for the rest of your life until you finally realize the truth!” I vowed venomously. All the things she had done, the pain she had caused and would continue to do. She had hurt the man I loved and that was unforgivable.

“Please stop,” she begged again, but it fell on deaf ears.

“And that truth, the one you are so afraid of admitting, Garmr lied to you! That HellBeast, he is CERBERUS!” I bellowed, making her suddenly scream,

“NOOOOO!” At the same time she threw her hand out to the mirror and shattered it completely, doing so until every last shard had fallen from the frame and landed on the floor.

“He is dead,” she said, letting her head hang, and the tears I could feel falling on our face.

“He left me,” she added in a hopeless tone, making me finally take a minute to feel her pain.

“Then in that, you have also been lied to,” I told her more calmly this time.

“And why should I believe you?” she asked, and I felt my inner core sigh.

“Because I know things you don’t,” I told her, making her shake her head.

“Or you have been lied to, just as you believe I have,” she disputed, making me wish it was possible for me to shake some sense into her.

“You haven’t seen or experienced the things I have but if you were only to try and access my memories, then you would see them too,” I tried, making her grit her teeth, before admitting,

“I can’t.”

“Why not, because you’re afraid to?” I pushed, making her fist the covers and surprise me when she said,

“I have tried.”

At this I must have forced her to suck in a quick breath before realization hit me, making me hiss one name,

“Garmr.” To which she flinched enough for me to say, “I think I made my point.” Because her reaction was telling as she tensed, telling me all I needed to know and making me feel for once as if I had won a battle.

As if I had finally managed to plant that little seed of doubt I was hoping to nurture enough for its roots to spread.

But then as she sat holding her head in her hands, she started to even out her breathing until finally standing back up.

“And now it is time for me to make my own,” she said in a hard and final tone before storming toward the door.

Then she yanked it open and started to make her way down the long, dark hallway.

Because her door was never locked now, meaning she was free to go wherever she pleased.

That was how much Garmr trusted his influence over her.

Which made me question where she was going now and just what she was going to do to prove her point.

I would have held my breath had I complete control over my body, but I was left as just a bystander to her show.

I found myself hoping that she wasn’t going in search of Garmr, as just the sight of him left my soul shaking.

I felt equal amounts sickened and fearful, because the control he had over us was one that no matter how much I tried, I couldn’t break from.

She saw love.

I only saw control.

Control over a lonely, heartbroken, vulnerable girl he had manipulated all those eons ago.

Because this was what Lerna hadn’t wanted to tell me.

The true depth of how at fault her sister was in all this.

How she had fallen for the villain and believed every single lie he had ever told her.

How she had chosen the easy path of hate over heartbreak.

Because it was easier to get over someone you hated and believed had left you, than losing someone who loved you till the end.

It was clear Garmr had lied to her in both aspects.

Because Cerberus hadn’t left and nor had he died.

He had been taken and all of it, by Garmr’s doing.

Something I knew I needed to convince her of, but I also knew that I couldn’t push too hard too soon, as she would only get angry like she was now.

Because like she said, she had a point to prove, and the second she made it to the lower levels, dread started to flood every fiber of my consciousness.

The prison.

That was where she had led me to.

But not only that, to one cell in particular.

Again, my feelings overwhelmed me. Feelings so strong that when she finally opened a solid metal door, I gasped his name at the sight of the beaten figure I saw hanging there…

“Orthrus.”