Page 69

EMORY

I t’s the study. I collapse into a chair and press my palms to my eyes. I drag in air, praying I’ll keep down the champagne, pleading with my body to calm.

I can’t break down in front of them.

I have to go back out there.

Aiden will explain. I can’t leave him out there to give the speech alone and do the dance we practiced alone. No, not alone. Amy would do it with him.

I burst out of the chair, my emotions feeling too big for my body, for the dress, for this room.

I need to think logically. How did the rumor get out? Did Aiden tell people? No, he would never. I trust Aiden. I trust him more than I trust myself.

I pace slowly around the room, forcing myself to breathe steadily. I’m on my second lap when I spy the papers on the desk and start to tremble.

Agreement of Separation and Divorce.

Last time I saw these, they were untouched in his library at home. He brought them here. My hand shakes as I flip to the final page.

Why did he bring them here?

I slap a hand over my mouth to stop the broken sound that comes from it when I see the final page. His slashing script is there.

He brought them here to sign.

Of course. I sink into the chair at the desk, shutting my eyes against the pain. Behind my lids is the first conversation we had in this room.

No expectations.

You wouldn’t want love, would you?

Did I see something that wasn’t there? I’ve done it before. With Harrison, I thought he loved me. With Aiden, I didn’t even question whether he might. I just assumed he did.

I’m a fool.

I exposed all the soft pieces of myself to him, even though I know better than to let my walls down.

I think of the things I told him that night in the library and I cringe.

I ugly cried on his suit. I told him about my most humiliating moment.

I confirmed that I wasn’t wife material. I confessed how weak I was.

But tonight? The dress?

I loose a heavy breath. His words on the boat take on a whole new meaning.

For the rest of my life, I’ll wish it was you.

Wish it was me. He didn’t say it would be me.

He was saying goodbye.

A tear splashes onto the paper in front of me, and I wipe at my eyes. Aiden is a good person, and now I see his actions in a whole new light. The dance on the boat, the tender sex after, the dress tonight so I would fit in. He supported me until the very end.

Of course he did. He’s the best man I know. I was lucky to be married to him for the months we had.

Another tear splashes onto the paper, and I swipe it away with a frustrated sound. I shouldn’t be crying. Aiden made no promises he didn’t keep. He told me he’d make them accept me, and the dress is his version of that. He got me the land. He was kinder than I ever had any right to expect.

This is always how it was going to end.

I pick up the pen, testing the weight of it.

It’s old, based on how tarnished the crest of House Prince is.

I’ve never used a pen like this. It makes all other pens seem cheap in comparison.

Everything about my life seems cheap in comparison to Aiden’s, and my conversation with his grandfather pushes to the forefront of my mind.

How could the girl who is the equivalent of a drugstore ballpoint pen compare to the man who pulls diamond rings out of his junk drawer?

His grandfather was right. Aiden deserves an easy life.

If I go back out there and cause a scene, the people in the ballroom will never forget.

They will never accept me, and I want so badly for Aiden to be happy.

I showed him how to emerge from the blackness of grief, and someone like Amy will help him ease back into his world.

She can give the speeches at events, and host parties for him, and play polo perfectly.

Their children will be accepted and he’ll be content.

He deserves that. I can give it to him. I pull the papers toward me and start to write.

When I’m done, I fold them up and push back from the desk. My face is wet with tears and my head is throbbing. I can’t stop them from flowing, but I don’t need to. I’m going to sneak out the back. I just need to find someone to give him the papers. I don’t want his grandfather to see them first.

I’m two steps into the hallway when Sienna rounds the corner.

She strides for me, her hair a blonde cascade over her shoulders and shaking with every forceful step.

“Oh god, Emory. I’m sorry—”

“You look so pretty tonight.” I squeeze her arms when she gets to me. “Can you give these to Aiden for me?”

Her gaze drops to the papers clutched in my hands, and she shakes her head. “Emory, no. I won’t. Just—”

“Please.” I press them into her hands. My whole body feels bruised. “I can’t go back into the ballroom like this.”

“This isn’t right,” she protests. “Just stay. I’ll talk—”

“It’s okay.” I pull her into a hug. “This is always how it was going to end.” I pull back to look at her face. “I’ll always be there for you.” Her expression crumples, and I step back, but not before I force the papers into her hands.

“Sienna?”

“Yeah?” Her lip wobbles.

I give her a small, watery smile. “Tell him it does feel like the most natural thing in the world.”

With that, I turn back down the hallway and walk away.

As I pass through the Crownhaven gates in my car, I realize I was right that night in the library. It does feel like I’ve left a piece of myself behind. I hope I can live without it.

I have to.