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EMORY

I fiddle with Aiden’s last note to me on Tuesday night after work and debate going home. I know he’ll be there. I don’t trust myself around him. His notes make me feel warm and light in a way I’ve never felt before.

That spark is growing. I’m not sure I can stop it anymore. I’m not sure I want to.

I press a hand to the wheel of my car and take a deep breath before I start on the road back home. I’ll avoid him. Maybe he won’t be there.

I’ll spend some quality time with my vibrator and a glass of wine, and I’ll stop this insane, clawing need from growing. It’s been five months since I had sex, and it’s perfectly normal that I need it. That’s all this is.

But when I pull up to Crownhaven, I nearly scream in frustration. I see two silhouettes through the double doors. Tristan is over, which means I’ll be waylaid into a conversation and I won’t be able to escape my husband. I’m let my head drop to the steering wheel and thump it gently once, twice—

There’s a knock on the window.

“Hi.” I open the door to Katie’s amused face.

“Everything okay?”

“I’m fine.” I’m so unbelievably far from fine. I am foolishly obsessed with my husband.

She cocks her head, her black jacket sliding over one of the silky black shirts she seems to favor when she’s working.

“You want to come over? Sienna is coming for dinner.”

“I’d like that.” I give her a grateful smile and follow her over the grass. “Where do you live?”

“In an apartment above the security center.”

She points to a small building that sits off to the side of the main house, and we start walking across the grass. “I like to be close to work.”

“You’re very dedicated.”

She hums her agreement and mounts the steps to her apartment ahead of me. It’s neat inside, though I’m not sure what else I’d expect from Katie.

“Tristan is always trying to force something bigger on me, but I don’t need more than this.”

“He is?” I give her a surprised look.

“Not like that. He’s very annoying and persistent. If I refuse something, he makes it his personal mission to bring it up as much as possible.” She makes a face. “You want a glass of wine?”

“Yes, please.” I seat myself at a dining table made of warm, blond wood. “Do you drink?”

“Not when I’m on shift, but after hours, I drink a little.

I have a gun, so I try never to get drunk.

Just feels irresponsible.” She shoots me a smile and folds her jacket neatly on the chair before she sinks into the seat across from me.

“You want to tell me why you were pounding your head on the steering wheel?”

I bite my lip. “Can we just be Katie and Emory tonight? Not Aiden’s wife and his employee?”

“Of course,” she says softly. “I’d like that.”

“Oh thank god,” I say. “It’s him. I think I like him. It’s horrible. Please help. Can you put me in a headlock until I forget?”

She bursts out laughing, covering her face as she does. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. But also, duh.”

“What do you mean duh? I’m suffering here. Katie, come on.”

She giggles again and pours herself some wine. “Of course you like him. Sienna told me you had a crush on him in high school.”

“College too,” I whisper, scrunching my face in misery. “He was horrible to me and my stupid brain couldn’t stop looking for him at every party. I hated him so much that I couldn’t stop thinking about him.”

Katie nods sagely. “And now it’s happening again. You hate him and you can’t stop thinking about him.”

“Worse,” I say miserably. “I don’t even hate him.”

“He’s pretty not hateable.”

“I know.” I take a big sip of wine, rolling the cool liquid in my mouth, hoping it will douse the heat in my stomach at the thought of Aiden.

“He started opening up to me the other night, and for the first time, I wanted this ruse to succeed for him . Because I think he deserves it. He’s a good person. ”

“How annoying,” she says lightly.

“So annoying.” I sigh. “And now, to succeed, I’ll have to spend even more time with him.”

She pats my hand. “I don’t have any sage advice for you. I’m sorry. I’ve had like three relationships and I don’t remember the last time I had a crush.”

The word zips through me. “This isn’t a crush,” I say quickly.

“It isn’t?” Her brows go up.

“Definitely not. It’s like a pre-crush.” A crush feels inevitable, like a death spiral or a jump off a cliff. “I can’t have a crush on him.” I press my hand to the table. “If I give Aiden that much power, it will destroy me when this ends.”

She winces. “Definitely not a crush, then. Just…a passing fancy.”

“Right.” I take another sip of wine. “Anyone would like him. I mean—” I give her a wide-eyed look.

“I know,” she says. “Aiden never did it for me, but I know what you mean.” She gives me a thoughtful look. “If it’s not a crush, you don’t need to fight it. Just enjoy it. It’ll help you fake the marriage, anyway. And who knows, after enough time spent with him, maybe it will go away on its own.”

I nod, relief rushing through me. Enjoy it and it will go away on its own.

It has to.