Page 16 of The Heart Of A Real Woman: Marilyn & Moses

“Just know I’m truly sorry from the bottom of my fucking heart.

I’m sorry I couldn’t see past my own shit to be more supportive, and I’m sorry for what I did to you.

But I swear on our kids, I never touched Kelis.

It was just conversation. That’s all it ever was.

I could never do that to you. Everything I am belongs to you.

My dick? Yours. My heart…my soul, yours.

No other bitch could ever have me the way you do, Mary. ”

Something in me caved, and I believed him wholeheartedly. “I hear you.”

“Our story ain’t over. I can’t lose you. I need you. You my rock, Mary. You all I got. You know that.”

“I do,” I bowed my head as the tears continued to fall. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the pregnancy. That was selfish of me.”

“It’s all good. Pick your head up.” Moses gently grabbed my face, making me look him dead in the eyes.

“I don’t want you stressed while carrying our baby. The doctors said it might happen naturally in due time, and it did. We got blessed, and I don’t want shit interfering with that. So, just chill, aight?”

“Okay,”

Moses pressed his forehead to mine, and my heart damn near leapt. It was like time froze, and for a moment, my pain completely faded. Just feeling his body close to mine took me back to that magical place only we knew.

“You my rib.” He said, his voice thick with emotion.

I took a deep breath as he massaged my shoulders, his touch soft but heavy with everything unsaid.

“I don’t know if a divorce was ever what I truly wanted,” I admitted to him. “I think… I think I just wanted you to feel what I felt. Pain.”

“I feel it, baby. Every damn day. Told you I’m dyin’ without yo’ ass. I need you back home.”

“Then I’m coming.”

“For real?”

“Yeah. I’ve been dying without you too.”

Moses kissed my lips before walking me to the table, so we could finish eating. We sat and ate for an hour while watching the moonlight. It was refreshing. Once we finished, he pulled me into his lap, and my head found that familiar spot on his chest. And without thinking, I whispered,

“I can always feel how gutted you are… by the beat of your heart. You know that?”

“What you mean, baby?”

“The rhythm. When it doesn’t match mine anymore… that’s when I know. That’s how I know you dying inside.”

I heard him swallow hard as I breathed in the scent of his cologne.

“And how many times you felt that?” He asked, voice low.

“Three. When you told me you were homeless, the day the doctor told us why I couldn’t get pregnant, and this morning at the intersection. That’s why I came with you.”

He didn’t say a word. Just leaned in and kissed my forehead, holding me like this second chance was everything he ever prayed for. Cradling my thick ass like a baby in his lap, and God, it felt so damn good. All bullshit aside, I missed my husband.

∞∞∞

Moses

“While you were gone, I did a lot of thinking… a lot of reading up on shit. I came across something that said if you can’t handle the weight, you should just leave instead of disrespecting the person you love. And I get that, but I don’t.

‘Cause leaving you ain’t no option for me. I can’t even fathom that shit. I done risked my life a hundred times in these streets… just to fuck around and die from a broken heart behind you. So, I don’t know…” I told Mary, gently rubbing her thigh.

We had been sitting there for an hour, her on my lap, gazing out at the water. We didn’t care to move, and honestly, I didn’t want to until we talked. It was time for that uncomfortable conversation. No matter how much it made us squirm, it needed to happen.

“Did you care about her…love her?” She asked.

“Hell nah, baby.” I stopped whatever thoughts were brewing in her head. “If I’m being real, I was using Shorty. The conversation was good… the attention was nice. That’s all it was. Music, talks, and vibes whenever we linked up.”

“Since when does your stubborn ass care so much about attention… opening up to people?” She asked, side-eyeing me. “It took me forever to break down your damn walls.”

I looked at her, realizing she really didn’t know the impact she had on me.

“Since you walked into my life and showed me what that shit felt like. I ain’t never had love. Ain’t never had nobody pour into me like you did. Growing up, it was cold… empty. You gave me something real. And when you pulled that away, it fucked me up. Had me spiraling.”

I shrugged and took a slow sip of my Hennessy. “That’s my truth.”

Mary tore her eyes away from me and stared out at the water. I could see it all over her. She was conflicted. She didn’t know whether to believe my black ass or change her mind about coming home and keep fighting for this divorce. I knew I had to earn that trust back.

“I’m not going through this cheating bullshit with you, Moses.

I ain’t the one. I know I played my part in how things fell apart, and I’m sorry for that.

I should’ve gotten help or opened up to you sooner so you could understand what I was going through.

But I didn’t deserve what you did, and I damn sure won’t accept it.

Because no matter what, I would’ve never done that to you. ”

“I know, baby. I promise you it won’t ever happen again.”

“Okay.”

There was a pause, just long enough for me to gather what I needed to ask next.

“Can you promise me something too, though?”

“Promise you what?”

“Promise me that when your days feel heavy… when the world feels like it’s closing in, you’ll open up to me. Talk to me, no matter how uncomfortable it gets. Don’t shut me out, Mary. Let me in.”

“I promise you.”

We stared at each other, locked in silence until my phone started ringing, cutting through the moment. I picked it up from the table and couldn’t help but chuckle when I saw the screen. It was my son calling.

“Sup, son? You been good to Maria?” I asked him, referring to his nanny.

“Man, where’s mama at? I’ve been calling her. You said you were bringing her home.”

“Excuse you, lil nigga. A hello would be nice and answer my question.” I shot back, eyeing his little ass through the screen. He had the nerve to have his bird chest poked out like he was running shit.

“Sup, pops. Yes, I’ve been good. Where’s Mama at?”

“She left her phone in the villa. And I already told you, I’m bringing her home after the trip. The day isn’t even over yet. We still out here, and it’s gonna be like that for a few more days.”

“Oh yeah, that’s right.” He said, acting clueless. But I knew he remembered exactly what I told him.

Jr. was just fishing, trying to see if I really made things right with Mary. At ten years old, he was wise beyond his years and knew how to express himself better than most grown folks. This morning, he made it clear that he didn’t want us to split up.

“Not y’all plotting on me.” Mary said.

Before I could respond, she snatched the phone out of my hand.

I leaned back and let them have their moment.

I could tell my boy missed her just as much as I did.

Visiting her at her parents’ crib wasn’t enough for him.

Just like me, he wanted her back home. And I had been doing everything in my power to make that shit happen.

As soon as their talk ended, I scooped Mary up in my arms and carried her to a private outdoor space at the villa, where the infinity pool and jacuzzi were waiting for us. It was getting late, and now that we were back on good terms, I wanted us to kick back and relax before the night ended.

The jets were on, music already playing, and more candles lit.

I had spent the last few hours while she slept setting the vibe and clearing my head.

Her hiding the pregnancy from me had fucked me up and pissed me off.

But I had taught myself a long time ago to just walk away and cool off whenever I got mad at Mary.

I never wanted to say or do anything that would hurt her mentally or emotionally.

“This feels so good,” she said as the water wrapped around her body.

“Hell yeah, come here,” I said, pulling her back onto my lap. I was feeling good as fuck. The jets were hitting my back just right, and the liquor had me floating.

“You still coming back home, right?” I asked low against her neck, still testing where her head was at.

Mary laughed. “Yes. I already told you that. Goodness… you and Jr. act like y’all can’t live without me.”

“I can’t. That’s already been established. And now that you pregnant, you already know I can’t have you away from me.”

“I’m coming. I promise, baby.” She said, turning to face me and wrapping her arms around my neck.

That was all I needed to hear. No more talking. I slid my tongue into her mouth and kissed her like I had been starving for her. Because I had. I missed her so fucking bad. I kissed all over her face and neck, gripping her ass tight while breathing her in deep.

When Mary took over, I closed my eyes and enjoyed the intimacy she offered.

She leaned in, nibbling on my ear before sucking my neck.

It had been war for so long between us that I couldn’t even remember the last time she loved on me like this.

Groaning, I lifted her and slid her bikini to the side.

Once it was out of the way, I slowly guided her down on my dick. The water swirled around us.

“Ooh, baby.” She panted.

“You owe me, baby.” I grunted in her ear. “I didn’t get to finish earlier.”

“Mmm, yes.” She moaned, slowly circling her hips.

For a minute, all I could do was hold on to her and moan right back.

She was riding me with a passion that had my whole body on fire.

Every move felt intentional. Water splashed around us with every bounce, swirling up against the edges of the jacuzzi and slapping against my back.

I slid my hands down to her waist, slowing her rhythm so I wouldn’t cum too soon.

Then I slipped my finger into her ass. Her whole body jolted, and I felt her clamp around me.

“Ahhhh, babyyyyy.” She fucking lost it.