Page 133 of The Governess Who Stole My Heart

He got up and began topace.

“I don’t know,” he said rubbing his forehead. “I get these mood swings and terrible headaches. I can’t concentrate and sometimes I get so sad, all I want to do is cry. What’s wrong with me, Susan?” He turned to her with a pleadinglook.

She became a little frightened. “Daniel. It must be the trauma of your neardeath.”

He began pacing again. “It’s like I’m in this body and I can’t escape. I want to tear my face off sometimes. And I feel like I can’t get a properbreath.”

“Daniel, have you seen yourdoctor?”

“No. No doctors. No doctors. I can’t…” Then he turned back to her suddenly with a ferociousness. He came over and kneeled before her and took herhands.

“Susan. Susan, I need you. You can help me. I know you can. Marry me. Please marry me. Be my wife, and we can go off to Portsmouth and live a very happy life. I know we can. Willyou?”

Susan took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. She put her hand on top of Daniel’s. It was clear. She knew what she had tosay.

“No, Daniel. I can’t marry you. You’re in no condition formarriage.”

He squeezed her hands tightly. “But I will be. Susan, please don’t abandon me. I couldn’t bearthat.”

“Daniel, I have another life now. I cannot leave Elizabeth—my charge. And I have to be honest and say that I care deeply for her father, JohnChamberlain.”

“Ah… the Duke. Of course. You want to marry a Duke. What do I have to offer compared to a Duke? That’s all you care about, isn’tit?”

Daniel stood up and began pacing again, his hands pressing against either side of hishead.

Susan was frightened for herself, but mostly for Daniel. She stood. She felt he was in a dangerous state and didn’t want to leave him until his familyreturned.

“Daniel, where has Katherine gone? I need to find her. She needs to be here withyou.”

“I don’tknow.”

There was nothing to do but go to his father’s shop and fetch his father, but as she was leaving Katherine came in the frontdoor.

“Susan? You’re here?” Katherineasked.

“Oh, Katherine, I’m so happy to see you. It’sDaniel…”

Katherine gave her a panicked look. “I know. I’m so sorry Susan. I was going to writeyou.”

They rushed to the sitting room and Daniel was seated on the floor, leaning against a wall with his head in his handsrocking.

Katherine went over to him and held him. Then she looked up atSusan.

“I’m so sorry. But he’s in no state. You’ll need to let himgo.”

* * *

Susan was deeplysad as she took her morning walk the morning after her troubled encounter with Daniel. Was she wrong to abandon him in his time of need? But again, would her marrying him have truly helped him? Or would it have not only complicated his life but caused her to ruin her own future and that of Elizabeth and John? She might never have a satisfactory answer to thatquestion.

A chill breeze had picked up and she cut her walk short and started back toward thehouse.

At the place where two paths joined, she saw John approaching along the otherpath

“Good Morning,” she said as he joinedher.

“Susan, we missed you at supper last evening. Were you not feeling well?” he asked, as he took her arm as theywalked.

“No, I’d gone to Ash for someshopping.”