Page 109 of The Governess Who Stole My Heart

“You seem greatly improved. I barely recognize the poor tortured soul I found in those horrible rooms inLondon.”

Simon smiled. “Fortunately, I was so totally dazed I remember barely anything of theordeal.”

“That’s a blessing.” John came over and stood at the window with Simon. “It’s quite the view—our estate—is innot?”

Simon turned to him. “Our estate? No. I think it is your estate. You made that perfectly clear to me all those years ago when Fatherdied.”

John hung his head. “Yes. I did stress that, didn’tI?”

“Yes, youdid.”

“Simon, you know the family’s stance on the inheritance. The estate must always pass along in its entirety. But that doesn’t mean there can’t be a consideration for your needs.” Simon turned to John and studied him, but didn’t answer. “We must discuss what you want to do with your life, now that you’verecovered.”

“Nearly recovered,” Simoncorrected.

“Yes. But that need not stop us from discussing what you want, and how I might help you achievethat.”

“Do you mean that, John?” Simon askedcautiously.

“I do. Tell me yourthoughts.”

Simon took a deep breath and collapsed into a chair by the window. John sat oppositehim.

“Please, share withme.”

Simon considered for a long moment, and then said, “I’ve wasted a great deal of my life so far. I fully acknowledge my mistakes and, knowing that I can’t go back and undo them, I must reassess my life and find a meaningful purpose from here onout.”

“And do you know what that might be?” Johnasked.

“I’ve had a great deal of time to reflect since the illness and there are two majorthoughts.”

“Yes?”

“First, I want to reconcile with you. I cannot pay back what I stole from you and squandered, nor can I undo the break in your trust, but I can start to rebuild that trust and beg that you forgive me for mytheft.”

“Consider thatdone.”

“And, since I’ve returned and seen Susan again, I realize I still have feelings for her. However, she still harbors me ill feelings and I know that she still doesn’t trustme.”

“That I can’t do anything about, Simon. And you should also know that she’s involved with a Naval Captain and they are considering an engagement. You can’t expect her not to have movedon.”

Simon sighed. “No, I can’t. But you say she’s not actually engagedyet?”

“Yes, that’scorrect.”

“Then might there still behope?”

John was conflicted by that question. He had his own emerging feelings toward Susan and he didn’t know what tosay.

“That must be between the two of you. I can’t advise you on that. But what I’d like you to consider is how we might be able to work together. Do you have any interest at all in staying at Haverford or do you wish to return toLondon?”

Simon looked at John and said with all sincerity, “London was nothing but ruin for me. I would love to explore any suggestions you mighthave.”

* * *

John satat his desk in the library and couldn’t stop thinking about Susan. Ever since their ride together, and from the moment he lifted her up onto the horse, he couldn’t get her out of his mind. He could still feel her breath against his cheek. But then, as he looked back, he remembered the many small moments when he’d been stricken by her beauty or her exquisitesensitivity.

And, of course, there was her suburb regard for Elizabeth. He realized that, if not for Susan, he might still be neglecting his care for his daughter—separating himself from her younglife.