Page 27 of The Girlfriend Agreement (Conwick U #1)

“Also, how the hell is it even possible that Damian is Craigslist Guy?” Ronnie continues. “Are you certain this wasn’t all some stalkery master plan of his and he isn’t messing with you? Again ?” Her eyes bug out, and she lets out a near-deafening gasp. “What if this is another one of his bet?—”

“It’s not like that,” I assure her. “Trust me, if it was, I would kill him myself.”

I don’t bother to mention that I was the one accused of being a stalker.

“How can you be so sure?” Andie asks. “He’s not the most trustworthy guy.”

I wave a dismissive hand. “You’re both giving Damian way too much credit.

Aside from you two and Gina, no one else knows what’s going on with my mom, so he would have no justification or reason to think a job like that—or the money—would entice me.

And ,” I press on when Ronnie looks like she’s about to interrupt me, “even if he had posted the ad just in case I might see it to mess with me, that still leaves a one in twenty-five thousand chance that I would be the one to respond to it, and that’s assuming every single person in Newport actually looks at Craigslist, including babies. The math just ain’t mathin’, guys.”

Ronnie sighs, retracting her claws, then reaches across the table, gently grabbing my hand. “Regardless, it’s a weird coincidence, babe. I just don’t want to see you get hurt again.”

I offer her a small smile and squeeze her fingers. “I know. And I love you for being so aggressively worried about me, but you don’t have to be. It’s not like I’m going to really date him.”

“But you’re going to have to pretend,” Andie points out. “Is that so different? Fake feelings may lead to certain real feelings resurfacing.”

I scoff. “I never had feelings for Damian. I just had a momentary lapse in judgment. Okay, two lapses,” I correct when they both shoot me the same doubtful look. “But that’s beside the point. This is a business arrangement. That’s all.”

“A ‘business arrangement,’” Ronnie echoes, hooking her fingers into air quotes. “Right.”

“It is!” I insist. “Look, it’s shocking, I know. Damian is the last person on the planet I would’ve expected to be Craigslist Guy, and I’m still coming to grips with it myself, but…I’m fine. It’s fine. In some ways, this is good. It’s familiar territory. I know what I’m dealing with.”

Andie frowns. “Familiarity might not be a good thing in this case.”

Ronnie bobs her head in agreement.

I huff out an exasperated breath. “Hey, let’s not forget why I answered that ad in the first place,” I remind them.

“My hands are tied. I need that money, so if getting it means pretending to be that asswad’s girlfriend for nine months, then so be it.

Plus, I got him to agree to fifteen instead of ten, so by the time January hits, I’ll have enough saved up to pay the deductible in full and cover Mom’s meds.

” When the cousins exchange a skeptical glance, I mutter, “Unless either of you know of anyone else offering to pay fifteen grand a month?”

Ronnie holds up her hand. “I offered. And that offer still stands. Honestly, at this point, I’m kind of offended you won’t take it.”

The bartender chooses this very awkward moment to arrive with my drink, and I mumble my appreciation as he places my third Gin Eyre of the night in front of me on a dainty little napkin embellished with the bar’s name and logo: a bunch of grapes sitting on an open book.

When he tries to ask Ronnie and Andie if they want anything, they both answer before he can finish his sentence, saying, “We’re good, thanks,” at the same time, giving major twin energy for two people who aren’t even genetically related.

As soon as we’re alone again, Ronnie pushes the subject. “Seriously, why won’t you let us help you?”

My chest tightens. “You know I can’t. It’s asking way too much of your family. And while I know you’d give it freely, the reality is…it would massively skew the balance of our friendship.”

And right now, my friendship with these two is one of the only good things I have going for me.

Ronnie reels back slightly and crinkles her nose. “What, do you think I’d lord it over you or something? Jesus, Lex, what kind of friend do you think I am?”

Groaning, I run a hand over my face. “Of course not. But…” I hesitate, searching for the right words to explain. If only I could say this with numbers. Numbers don’t lie, and math is the one language I know how to speak fluently.

But numbers can’t fight this battle for me, and Ronnie deserves to know why I can’t accept her generosity, as much as I wish I could.

“It would always be there—this weight of knowing I owe you and can never repay you—and it would change the dynamic between us. Blame it on my pride, but our friendship is too important to me to risk anything changing it. So, I love you and thank you, but it’s just not a debt I’m comfortable being in. ”

“But you’re okay being in debt to Damian ?” Andie counters.

I shake my head. “That’s the thing. I wouldn’t be. I won’t go into the details just in case he tries to sue me later, but it sounded like I would be doing him a favor. Besides, the Navarros can stand to be one hundred and thirty-five thousand dollars poorer, don’t you think?”

The cousins exchange another dubious glance, and that’s when it dawns on me what they’re really nervous about.

This isn’t about the money or the possibility of reliving my embarrassment from freshman year.

This isn’t even about Damian; he’s just a secondary factor, connected to but not the crux of the issue.

No, this is about me.

A long-suffering sigh parts my lips. “Look, despite my little…mishap last week, I am not interested in him, if that’s what you’re both so worried about.

And trust me, he is not interested in me.

This is Damian we’re talking about. He wants a girlfriend as much as I want… I don’t know, genital warts.”

“Sleep with him again and you may just get some,” Ronnie mutters.

I glare at her. “I’m not going to sleep with him again.” Frankly, I am mortified that my friends think so little of my self-control. I might be impulsive, but I’m certainly not incapable of keeping my vagina to myself.

Ronnie’s mouth presses into a line. “Mm-hmm.”

“I’m not! Hey, what’s that look?” I snap at Andie, whose lips are peeled back in her best impersonation of a set of wind-up teeth.

She holds up her hands. “We love you, Lex, but you’re two for two.”

“Meaning?”

“ Meaning , you’ve hung out alone with Damian twice, and both times, you’ve jumped straight on that dick, girl. This arrangement you have…it’s tempting fate.”

I grimace. “Oh, not you, too. I get enough of this destiny mumbo jumbo from that one.” I thrust my thumb toward Ronnie, who leans forward and flicks me on the head with her finger.

“Don’t sass the universe, dummy. It’s listening .”

“Jesus Christ, you two are making me need a drink more than this whole thing with Damian. Who, speaking of, I have been alone with three times now, not two as you incorrectly stated. Those bullshit tutoring sessions at the start of the year don’t count as there were witnesses present, which leaves us with once in the library when we…

you know…once last week, and then today at the park.

And guess what? I managed to escape said park without his dick entering any of my orifices.

So, no, contrary to what you believe, I am not going to fuck him again.

” Throwing my head back, I down my Gin Eyre in one go, and then slam the glass down on the table, wiping my lips with the back of my hand.

“Like I said, this is all purely transactional.”

“I’m sure Julia Roberts thought the same thing,” Andie retorts.

Ronnie blinks large, owlish eyes at her cousin whereas I opt for a much more intelligible, “Huh?”

Andie glances between us, aghast. “ Pretty Woman ? God, you guys need an education in movies.”

I suck in a breath, wincing at the sudden throbbing pain in my temples. These two are beginning to give me a migraine.

“Andie,” I begin, pinching the bridge of my nose, “I say this as a fellow nerd, but I absolutely cannot with your random eighties references at the moment.”

Ronnie makes a little hmph sound that has me turning on her next.

“Is there something you’d like to add?”

She crosses her arms. “Only that Andie’s right. You become chemically imbalanced around that twatweasel, and it’s because you hate him that we know you’ll fuck him again.”

“That doesn’t even make sense.”

She scoffs. “Sure, it does. They call it hate sex for a reason. All that anger and loathing you feel toward him has to go somewhere.”

I don’t bother dignifying that with a response. Mainly because I don’t want to give her the satisfaction or opportunity to tell me I “doth protest too much,” but also because I can’t be one hundred percent certain that she isn’t right.

I fucking detest Damian Navarro…but goddamn, if that boy isn’t fire in bed.

God, I really, really hate my vagina’s taste in men.

“Also,” Andie chimes in again, “if you’re serious about this, and you guys plan to sell the illusion of you as a couple, that will mean abstaining from sex with other people because there is no way to keep that shit quiet in a college that gossips as much as ours.

And if you aren’t having sex with each other…

” She does that annoying elaborate shrug people do when they think they’ve made their point.

“I’m just saying, nine months is a long time. One of you is going to crack.”

“The question is: which one of you will it be?” Ronnie asks.

Frowning, I sink down into the booth cushions, sulking. “I really don’t like when you two gang up on me.”

Ronnie grabs me by the shoulder and gives me a commiserate shake. “Sorry, fam. Just speaking the truth.”