Page 52 of The Garnet Daughter (The Viridian Priestess #3)

Chapter

Thirty-Five

B y dawn, August is still not on the ship with no sign of returning.

Not wanting to be alone after a fitful night’s sleep going over every detail of our conversation, I decide to fold into the Viathan fleet ship, seeking out Ferren.

I step into the mess hall, hoping she is in need of company as well.

She’s analyzing her data pad so intently, she is unaware of my entry.

“Morning,” I say lightly, knowing the topic she is researching without confirmation.

She greets me, gesturing to share her brothy Viathan breakfast, but I settle on the protein squares I’ve finally grown accustomed to.

“They haven’t returned yet.” She smiles, trying to hide the fact she knew I would ask.

“All night?”

“They are setting up some weapons called turrets. 99 explained, but I stopped listening after he described a spinning gun on a beacon tower.”

“Oh, that’s . . .”

“Terrifying? They are lining the perimeter with them, below the walls of the city.”

“Did you find anything else?” I tap the frame of the data pad.

She purses her lips to the side. “Nothing of use, just more passages and versions of the same, but less clear and mucked up with each new transcriber.”

“I wonder how First Son chooses. If it is the same as First Mother did in the beginning,” I blurt without thinking.

“There must be something to it, some sort of selection.”

“Or maybe it is truly random, a ritual that casts out a net to the three worlds, hoping to latch on,” I suggest, a poor attempt at lifting my friend’s spirits from the internal storm she is hiding.

“Perhaps.” She smiles and presses a button that snaps the screen of her data pad into darkness. “Enough of that. How did your reunion with Selene go? I’ve been worried about it.”

“She’s been trying to keep the priestess order from taking an interest in me while they make their selections for the new highest.”

“Yes, I spoke with her about that. I saw the way some looked at you during the council meeting. I could assume right then what they were thinking.”

I shake my head, confused as to why even if I told them every detail of all my gifts, I would be seen as a target.

“I’ve always thought you would make a lovely highest, if the order were completely different of course,” she says.

“I don’t know what to say. My only concept of a highest priestess is . . .” The image of Crixa bleeding out but still alive enough to spit vicious anger at Ferren crosses my mind.

“Yes, but I’ve read about ones far better than her, kinder, more powerful, from early in the order’s history.”

“The high priestess . . . Ursa, I believe her name was, she all but campaigned for me in front of Selene.”

“Selene and I both knew she wanted to name you, likely convinced a few others before she announced it.”

“I’m not in the order,” I state flatly at the obvious obstacle.

“No, but they are hoping the promise of power will be so enticing, you take the vows.” She meets my eyes as if she knows it edges on flattering to be even considered.

“But the elders would try to use you as a puppet. It’s in their nature.

You are the perfect highest for them, unfamiliar with their ways and more gifted than most of them combined.

They could shape you any way they saw fit. ”

“I have no interest in it.” I shake my head, hoping she doesn’t think I’ve been seduced by their pull, even if I pictured it for a fleeting, indulgent moment.

“The order seems formidable, but you have to want to be the highest, or at least be convinced. They can not force you. You are strong, Calliape. I am not so worried that I would advise hiding away like Selene would.”

“Well, August had a vastly different reaction when I told him.”

“I can imagine.” She tucks her lips between her teeth, likely picturing the way he reacts when anything even priestess order adjacent is spoken. “Can I ask you something?”

I nod and brace myself instead of folding to avoid the question I can assume has been on her mind about the two of us.

“You and August . . . I know you hate talking about it.” She throws her palms up in passive surrender. “But, I don’t know, you both seem a little . . . different. I can’t help but see he isn’t the only one doing the staring now.”

The embarrassment of being perceived brings a flush of blood to my cheeks. But then she gently squeezes the top of my hand, the simple movement enough to put me at ease and remind me Ferren has only wanted us both to be happy from the very beginning, as her and 99 are.

“Things have . . . progressed.” I can sense her holding her breath in anticipation of sharing more details, but I can’t bring myself to.

“That’s why he had such a big reaction when I told him that my name was selected, and I feel so terrible about even thinking for a fleeting moment what it would be like.

He’s been so happy. Can you believe he has even been creating plans to modify the ship?

His way of making me more comfortable so I will want to stay. ”

“Alright, well, first, that is very normal, for your mind to try to make sense of being selected. I filter things like that out when I look inside others. They are almost not even real thoughts.” She waves a hand dismissively but then course corrects.

“He’s modifying his ship so you will live on it with him? ”

“Yes.”

She beams and then quickly calms herself. “But you are still not sure?”

“I want to, but it seems so foolish to make plans with all that is happening around us.”

“Things are always happening. Did you find it foolish of 99 and me? No, of course not, because it doesn’t matter. Don’t wait, Calliape. We can’t control the chaos.”

“I couldn’t even answer him when he asked what I wanted,” I confess.

“Wanted, as in being together or not?”

“In part, yes, and if I’m being honest, I do want to be with him, but other parts of me still seem adrift.”

“Perhaps you aren’t as lost as you think you are. Home to you might not be a house or even a specific world or path. Perhaps it’s what you build with August out there in the space between.” She touches my hand like she knows she has gently struck a chord and floats to the tea-making machines.

I take in what she says, getting more comfortable on the long bench seats. Images of my life in every scenario I’ve previously considered stream past the backs of my eyes. None of which hold the same weight as they once did.

She sends 99 a message through their tether, letting them know we are together and waiting for them to return. When her face crinkles with a pleased expression, I can tell she has received one back even before she informs me they will be done soon.

We chat about the birthlands, the people and the towns we stopped in, and she tells me what she knows of the high priestess who nominated me as her selection.

Our conversation turns lighter when she asks more details about the progress August and I have made, purposefully emphasizing the word and sending us both doubling forward, giggling in a way we have not for a long time.

We speak of our worlds’ celebrations in the last days of the conjunction.

She has read of mine, but she has my full attention as she explains how the whole city around the Estate normally decorates with moonflowers and lanterns, how they combat the tension with distraction and festivities that she could hear all the way up in the Estate temple during her prayers.

How afraid she was during the last one, both of us so young, it makes me wonder where we will be during the next one in another thirteen turns of the worlds.

And when August and 99 finally return well into midday, my stomach does a little twist as August’s familiar form saunters past the guard posted outside the private living space and into the mess hall.

Our eyes meet, and I can’t stop the hitch in my breathing when he smiles, exhausted, as if unsure how I will receive him. I approach first as 99 joins Ferren at the table we have occupied for hours.

“I’m sorry it took so long. We ran into some issues with wiring.” He rubs the back of his neck absently.

“Ferren and I kept each other company.”

“Oh, that is good.” He smiles sheepishly.

An odd silence falls between us, the exchange lacking depth in a way we both find a little amusing.

I huff a quick laugh and step closer to him instinctively. “If you’re not too tired, can we talk about our last conversation?”

His brow twists in a hopeful shape. “Of course.”

For some reason, a wave of relief relaxes me at his response, and when I turn to face Ferren and 99, I can sense him hovering his hand on the small of my back, wanting to fully place it but unsure of where I stand.

Just as I inhale, readying myself to tell them we will return shortly, I see Selene standing in the entryway, a commander posted next to her and waiting for 99’s signal to let her pass.

He nods, and Selene takes a few tentative steps toward me.

“I apologize for the interruption,” she says.

“No need,” Ferren replies sharply on our behalf.

Selene sighs. “Calliape, may we speak in private?”

I stumble over my words, trying to find a reason why I can’t without telling her that August and I were just about to do the same.

“It’s alright. We can have our words after. I can wait,” he whispers from behind me.

“Are you sure?”

“I’ll be right here.” He steps past Selene, grinning back to me on one side so hard his dimple wakes.

“Where would you like to talk?” I ask her on an exasperated exhale.

“Just outside is fine,” she says, clasping her hands.

We proceed in silence through the Viathan ship, passing numerous commanders as they stand post or stoically walk to their destination. I can sense her warming up to begin speaking as we descend the ramp onto the sandy ground of the open-air cargo bay.

“Ferren was not surprised I was named. I wish you told me sooner.”

“You were in the birthlands,” she defends flatly.

I try to gauge her mood but coming up short. I have little to say to her. I can’t tell her about August and me or the plans that are still being formed, so I just wait for her to start speaking like she requested to do.

“Calliape, I have some things to say and I’d like you to just listen .

. . please.” She stares a hole into the sand by her feet.

“I loved your mother very much. You were so special to us, so little when she passed. And then it was just you and me and I held on too tight, protected you from too much. I thought, how can First Mother take your mother if we were supposed to be safe on the mountain? So, I dug my heels into the soil and made sure the same didn’t happen to you.

But you turned out just like her, stubborn, strong, adventurous, and so, so powerful it scared me.

But I have come to realize I would rather step back from your life than to continue the way we have if it means I lose you. ”

“I love you, Selene, and you will never lose me. You have kept me safe, taught me so much that now I can keep myself safe. I don’t want you out of my life. I want us to find a better way of being. I need you to trust my judgment more.”

“I can do that.” She touches my cheek, but I can’t stand the barrier that has been forged between us so I surge forward to hug her.

“Listen to me, Calliape.” Her tone sounds different suddenly. “The priestess order is collecting their selections.”

My vision clears from the water that blurred them moments ago to see movement at the entrance of the cargo bay, dark grey gowns billowing around the order members as they watch Selene and me from afar.

“The priestess order is here?”

“They have come for you. You must go with them,” she says slowly, as if she fears panic will overtake me and I will flee.

“No, I’m not accepting the nomination.”

“Look at me. If you do not go, they will keep pursuing you. If not for the highest, then for the ranks of their order. I have learned my lesson in trying to protect you, and you do not need me in this. Stay true to yourself. They shall see Calliape of Frith can’t be controlled, that she is as powerful as her mother but also as wild and formidable as the sacred mountain she was raised on, and they are certain to withdraw. ”