Page 51 of The Garnet Daughter (The Viridian Priestess #3)

“Sit,” he coaxes and then does so too, his knees pressing into me as he scoots impossibly close. His hand is so big, it clasps both of mine together, and he uses the other to tuck a curl of my hair behind my ear. Every movement and breath is intended to calm me and indicate he is here.

When I finally have courage to gaze into his eyes, they are so patient it makes my heart race.

It’s a perfect display of my point, that he deserves more because he is so good, and I’m about to confess just how much I took advantage of his kind spirit.

He has the right to know I left Frith for many reasons, but the one I gave him is not the whole truth.

“Callia, you can tell me anything.” He rubs the side of my face, sensing my inner turmoil.

“There is so much.” My voice comes out small.

“I am a good listener. Start from the beginning.”

“On Frith, I could . . . sense a voice. I couldn’t truly hear it most of the time, but I . . . felt it.” I glance up at him as if testing the waters.

He does not react. He watches me, waiting to receive the rest.

I nod and continue, “I thought it was the mountain. Some of the elders told stories about how the sacred mountain was actually an old god that we lived on. I thought maybe it was speaking to me. It was like being pushed or pulled away, like I could not breathe unless I was attempting to leave. But it wasn’t like when Omnesis speaks.

Perhaps it’s the same language but it’s from a different source. ”

“When you heard this voice . . . understood the creature, you became more Mother blessed?”

August has never fully grasped gifts from First Mother, always getting a little antsy with the topic so some of the details get lost on him.

He was never exposed to anyone on Viathan with gifts or in any of his travels, going off rumors and stories alone.

Until he met Ferren and all of her divinity, then came to my village and quickly saw a different side to it all.

“Not quite.” I pause, examining the question closer but falling short. “Actually, I’m not sure.”

“This is why the priestess order wants you in their ranks?” He lifts my hand and kisses it softly.

“Some of the reason, yes.”

“Continue.”

“When I asked you to take me away from Frith, I told you it was because of Selene. That was partially a lie. I thought I was hearing that voice because I was meant for something elsewhere, a bigger purpose. It’s foolish.”

“No,” he assures. “Not foolish at all.”

“Well, even so, it doesn’t change that I lied to you. I knew you flirted with me in the village and that you would be easy to convince. I would never do that now. I’m so sorry. I was desperate to go, and you all were leaving so soon . . .”

“Callia.” He runs his thumb over the top of my hand. “You did not know me then, so of course you didn’t trust me enough to speak the whole truth.”

“I used you.”

“Even if I’d noticed, I would have welcomed it.” He snorts. “I’ve never had someone flirt their way onto my ship in all my travels. I was too intrigued that you came all the way down the mountain to me and not the others.”

“I wasn’t expecting you to laugh. I’ve been feeling guilty all this time that I lied to you.” I give him a flat look.

“You told me what you needed to and held onto the more sensitive information until you could trust me,” he explains with a smile. “Smart girl.”

I drop my head, still raked with shame for lying to him when even now he is so thoughtful and determined to make me feel better.

He places a knuckle under my chin to make me look at him, his expression more serious because he knows it’s exactly what I need. “Don’t be sorry, Callia. I understand, and thank you for telling me. Now, put it out of your mind.”

I give him a tentative smile, but this sensation will not so easily dissolve from my system.

“Have you heard this voice since you left Frith?” he asks.

I nod. “A few times. When I retrieved the book from the Estate temple, it even said my name.”

He nods like I have answered a desperate question.

“I folded into it. It hadn’t been recovered since the ritual.” I lace his fingers with mine, praying to be grounded by his steady presence for my next confession. “August, the spell in the temple, it didn’t just . . . fail.”

His dark brow furrows tightly.

“I mean, it did fail,” I clarify. “But when I knew I could not place the ward . . . I tried to wake First Mother or any old god who could help us.”

He runs his thumb over the top of my hand. “I did not know that was possible.”

“The spell book said it was. Selene understood it was not good to have in our possession either. That’s why she hid it from me, but I found it.

I freed Omnesis. Yes, a tremor broke the temple in half, it may have been in the dungeon like Ferren said, but the tremor did not release it.

It was heavily warded. It’s my fault it is free, that High Priestess Thea died. ”

“You were trying to save us all.”

“It doesn’t matter. I told Ferren. I had to tell her first. I did not want you to be compelled to support me.

But why would you? I did something terrible.

” When I flick my gaze up to meet his, it is dark and fully focused on me, the intensity making me flustered.

My words come out increasingly panicked.

How can I articulate all the layers I have created of this mess?

“I just wasn’t sure how she would handle it, if she wanted me out of her life. Say something . . . please.”

“I already knew.”

I draw back in shock, unable to hang onto a single question zipping through my mind.

He cups my face. “I already knew, Calliape. I heard what Selene said to you after the council meeting. Not every detail, but I pieced it together. You were so guilt-ridden on Frith. I only wish you would have told me when we were stuck there. I could have comforted you.”

“You did comfort me, August, more than you can imagine.” My lip quivers uncontrollably, a relieved sob building in my throat, and soon I won’t be able to keep it down. “I would have not made it there without you, or the birthlands or anywhere.”

His throat bobs as he swallows hard, his own eyes glossier than before, but somehow he’s still a fortress of strength and patience as I fall apart.

“I always have your back no matter the mistake, do you hear me?” He wipes away the tears from my cheeks and holds my face firmly, until I nod in understanding.

Wrapping me in his comforting arms, he presses me against his chest, whispering calming words and letting me purge the emotion I wanted to hide from him.

We breathe in rhythm, cocooned in each other’s embrace until his forearm beeps with an incoming message.

“I will stay with you and let 99 know it’s an emergency.” He quickly silences it and glances out the still-open cargo hatch where the weapons totes were loaded.

“No.” I wipe away more of my tears. They are sparse and more controlled now. “I will be alright, I promise.”

“Should you stay with Ferren on the fleet ship?”

“No.”

“Ferren loves you like a sister, so don’t push her away because you assume she is too hurt.”

“I’m not yet ready to tell her about the highest selection, and I don’t want to push her away anymore . . . or you.” I smile at him shyly.

“I like the way that sounds.” He runs his knuckles across my cheek. “If you are unsure about us, your feelings for me, fine. I can live with that. But you come to me with burdens like this. I don’t want you holding them alone anymore.”

“I will, I promise.” I pause for a long time, wishing I had something better to say. “I’d like to finish our conversation when you are done with whatever you are doing with those weapons.”

“I am taking them to the front lines and making sure the perimeter defense towers are working properly,” he repeats. “And yes, I would really like that, Callia.”

I take another breath, but it is shallow, as if the air is passing through a crack in a stone ward.

One I have placed myself, built strong and layered in self-doubt and assumption.

And even though August has shown me the way out from behind it, it’s up to me to begin to crumble it the rest of the way down.