Page 45 of The Garnet Daughter (The Viridian Priestess #3)

Chapter

Thirty-One

F erren steps closer, her posture is tense as if she is ready to fight, but with the next strobe of ship light, she hesitates.

“Calliape, look,” she whispers.

A First Son soldier lies lifeless on the metal floor with his back against a set of doors. His armor holds him up, his chin tucked as if his neck cannot hold the weight of his head.

“Don’t.” I pull on Ferren when she starts forward again.

“He’s dead. No signs of life, remember?” she reminds me as much as she does to 99 through her tether.

“Is there another way?” I ask her to check with the others.

She pauses, listening within her tether, and then slowly shakes her head. “They want us to fold out.”

“Oh.”

“Let’s get closer and then decide.” She looks to me to agree.

“Alright,” I confirm resolutely and hold out my hand for her to take it. The only way I am going along with this is if I can fold us out at a moment’s notice.

My steps are careful, as if any vibration will disturb the atmosphere. Ferren’s light illuminates our path, a glowing orb held in her free hand, shining on the body of the First Son soldier.

It’s so cold now, my shoulders tense and draw in, our panting breath creating angry, swirling clouds all around us.

I point to the man’s weapon, splayed on the floor next to him as if it fell haphazardly, and then we notice the old blood that has spilled out from under his helmet.

Ferren gives me a grave look, realizing what happened here at the same time I do. Knowing he is truly gone, even if the method of doing so is grim, shouldn’t make me feel better, but it does. Now we know for sure he’s not laying a trap for us to walk by on our way down to the cargo hull.

We stay close to the other side of the wall, skirting it as we shuffle past, avoiding his outstretched legs. A large cloud of fog rolls across the interior of the glass doors he braces against, the movement setting us both on alert.

“Cold storage?” Ferren whispers.

The thick white fog undulates again, gently swirling around the closed-off room.

Long metal boxes are stacked inside, as if part of the walls.

One side of each has a window lit from within in a golden glow.

The faux clouds part just enough to see the undeniable features of a woman within the horizontal pods.

“What is that?” I step forward, curiosity taking me over.

Ferren does the same, waiting for the next rolling cloud to pass as we stare hard at the glowing window on each narrow box, ones that seem eerily similar to a resting place or coffin.

“Cryosleep,” Ferren whispers. “99 thinks the rest of the soldiers put themselves in cryosleep. That is why they cannot read them on their scans.”

“What about that one?” I gesture back at the dead soldier.

“Perhaps someone had to go last. The controls seem to be on the outside.”

The situation is uncomfortably human. Someone had to sacrifice themselves in order for the others to live, and there are dozens inside. I can’t help but think how easily any of the four of us would volunteer for the others.

We walk hand in hand the rest of the way through the passages as 99 and August guide us, putting what we saw behind us as quickly as possible.

Holding onto her makes the ward I have between us more obvious.

She is open and searching through the tether, listening for directions, and every few steps, I can sense a rogue tendril test the walls I’ve placed.

“I wish you would fully come back,” she says, so low I think for a moment I’ve imagined it. “You have had that ward up for so long.”

She has no idea what I am keeping from her, that I am doing it to protect her from the unfiltered guilt swirling around because of what I have done. But I am exhausted from maintaining it. She deserves to know everything, what it has cost her, and what Omnesis told me.

“We saw Omnesis in its temple,” I start and she squeezes my hand in surprise. “It spoke to me again.”

Her expression is one of terrified intrigue as she does her best to listen and watch her steps through the dim ship. “What did it say?”

“Something I knew to be true before I left for the birthlands.” I let go of her hand, halting our steps.

The pain of blocking her pleading tether seeking a comforting latch is too much.

“Ferren, Omnesis was not freed from the belly of the Estate because of the tremor or because Crixa’s ward could no longer hold it. It had many captors.”

The green shine of her light reflects in the water lining her eyes.

Has she been suffering with guilt that when she killed Crixa, not only did the ward around the city fail, but so did the one around the monster’s cell?

That she is the one who freed it and killed Thea? How did I not realize this until now?

“Omnesis was freed because of the ritual. When the first failed . . . I tried another, the one the priestesses did in times of old to try and wake First Mother, but it failed too, partially.”

Ferren nods, blinking away the moisture and uncomfortably shifting on her feet.

“Do you understand?” I wait for her to speak, to confirm in any way that selfishly relieves me of saying the words aloud, but it does not come.

“Ferren, it was my fault. Thea died because . . . It was my fault. And then the monster spoke, called you . . . what it did, and I thought I could stop it to somehow make up for my horrible mistake. I’m so sorry. ”

She is silent, staring through me in a way I’ve seen her do before, when she is paralyzed by emotions she was not allowed to have until she left the priestess order.

“You should have told me sooner. It was cruel not to,” she finally says.

“I know.”

“The way she died . . .” She worries her lip. “I grieved Thea.”

“I’m so sorry for keeping it from you.”

“I can only go so deep when there are walls between us, blocking secrets. The times we should have become closer, you have pushed away from the three of us.”

I absorb the sting of her words. I wish she would lash out or scream at me instead, as that’s what I have been expecting, bracing for even. But not this. This is a different kind of honesty that I am not used to facing.

“Does August know?”

“No.”

“That is a strong wall.” She shakes her head in disbelief.

It sounds like a joke, but it isn’t. I’ve kept so much from my friends at the cost of loving them deeper.

“It will take a while for me to heal from this. But I will tell you what I told myself when I had guilt about the ritual. It might have come easier and sooner had I not had to muck through my own mind to get to it. We all made mistakes that day. Thea’s death was an accident.

” She sniffles a little. “It was not at anyone’s purposeful hands. ”

“But I’m to blame, Ferren?—”

“I warned you about that spell book, yet I volunteered to read from it with you. The blame can swirl around forever and ever, eat away at us if we let it. I cared for Thea, but she would have not done for me and my sister what you have. And perhaps I am wicked for saying that. Thea was my friend . . . from whom I was before. But you, you are my family, and I would not be able to go on without you.”

I smash into her, hugging her so tightly all the air from her lungs leaves in a quick huffing sound.

“You’re my family too, Ferren. When we get out of this terrifying ship, I will tell you everything you want to know.

I will bring my ward down so you can sift through and see I truly made a mistake. ”

“No, no, Calliape. I can’t do that with everyone, have access like I do with 99.” She holds my shoulders. “Just trust me more. I can handle you telling me the truth. I’m not Selene.”

I nod, the uncomfortable connection with my past actions on full display.

She hugs me again before we continue, walking down each passage in more comfortable silence than before. We are not back to how we were, I have hurt her, but the weight of the three worlds has lessened slightly from my shoulders.

We finally make it to what seems like the belly of the ship, a cargo hull with weapons and totes askew in the darkness.

“They said the panel should be there.” Ferren strides toward the farthest wall, where small, glowing buttons flicker.

She reads aloud a series of numbers displayed on the screen to 99 and August so they can decipher how we proceed.

In return, she presses a sequence into the panel, forcing the seam around the exit to break, and the familiar whooshing sound of a mechanical ramp fills the space.

Eclipse light pours in almost as fast as the sandy, dry heat of Cosima.

When the ramp hits the ground, we practically run down it. Commanders with guns drawn file in past us, likely heading straight to the location of the people in that strange sleep state.

August hugs me, pushing my cheek into his chest a little too hard. “By the three worlds you scared me.” He heaves on relieved air. “We need to inform the others in more details of what we saw of the fleet, so 99 can send it to Lord General.”

“I know.” I lean into him, inhaling his scent and grounding myself because this may be the hardest part of what I have to tell Ferren today. “And then I need to tell all of you what Omnesis said First Son is planning.”

Being in the mess hall of the Viathan fleet ship is somehow soothing, or maybe it’s the fact we are all together again, sitting around the table, eating and sipping tea.

August sits across from me, opting to stare while I drink instead of having his chair tucked in close to mine, which I know he would prefer.

He understands I need a wide space to breathe and more faces to focus on other on than Ferren’s and 99’s.