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Sharp pricks of dread stab my face as my body goes rock hard. “What? Taken? What does that mean?”
People bump into us. The dark shape of a TV camera is in my periphery. But I focus on Drew.
He leans close. “Ivy had a miscarriage. I’m so sorry, man.”
It comes at me like a hard hit, shattering something deep in my chest. I can’t make myself move. A metallic taste fills my mouth, the ground beneath me tilting. “Is she okay?” Please God. All the blood seems to be draining from my head down to my toes.
“Rakin is with her.”
Rakin is one of our team physicians. I expel a breath, feeling a little better, then pin Drew with a look. “When?”
Drew just shakes his head. “Sometime during the game.”
I explode. “Why didn’t you fucking tell me sooner?”
“You were playing—” His fist pushes against my chest when I charge him. “And I didn’t know until five minutes ago. Anna just texted me.”
“Aw, yeah,” shouts a voice behind me. A second later, Rolondo slams into us, sending my shoulder pads into my jaw. “That’s what I’m talking about! Whoo!” His grin fades as he looks at me and Drew. “What’s going on?”
Drew gives a tight shake of his head. “Ivy.”
That’s all he says, but it’s enough. Fear surges once more. I sway, dizzy and sick to my stomach. We’re surrounded now, reporters moving in. Maybe they smell blood in the water, or maybe they just want a sound bite.
Rolondo puts his hand on my shoulder. “Go to your girl. We got this.” He turns, cutting the crowd off from me. “Who’s got a question?”
I take off running, cutting through the crowd like a hot blade. My head is pounding by the time I reach the locker room. My gear falls where I toss it. I’m hauling up my jeans when my dad walks in. I’ve managed to avoid him all day, and now he shows.
Time and hard living have left my dad wrinkled and paunchy. I don’t really look anything like him. He’s wiry and dark-haired, his frame a good four inches shorter than mine. I look a lot like my mom—something I know pisses him off. The only feature we share is the color of our eyes. Doesn’t matter that he’s responsible for giving me life; every time we’re in the same room, I instantly want out.
“Gray—”
“I don’t have time for this,” I grind out, jamming on my sneakers. My fingers shake as I try to tie them.
Dad takes a hard step forward, his face red. “You’re going to talk to me, goddammit.”
“No,” I snap. “I’m really not.”
“Listen up, young man—”
“My girl needs me.” I head past him.
He grabs my arm. “You’re walking out to see a piece of—”
I wrench free. “She is the woman I love. So show her some respect. She’s pregnant.” An ugly, raw sound breaks free. “Or was. She lost it. While I was on that field—”
Cursing, I turn away, head for the door. It takes me a second to see that my dad is following me. “I’ll drive you,” he says grimly.
“I don’t need you to drive.” But it hits me that I don’t have a ride.
Something my dad knows, as well. Even so, he can’t help but get a dig in. “Don’t give a shit what you think you need, son. I’m doing it.” He sighs, as he holds the exit door open. “I’m going to see that you get to your girl safely. Now let’s go.”
Thirty-Four
Gray
Stuck in the passenger seat of Dad’s cushy rental sedan, I can barely sit still. My knee bounces, and I’m rocking back and forth as if the motion can somehow make the damn car go faster. I should stop, but I can’t. This traffic to get clear of the Super Dome is killing me. Not being with Ivy is killing me. Is she okay?
In my haste, I’d left my phone behind. I’m cursing myself now.
Pressing my fingers against my aching eyes, I try to focus on breathing. I need to calm before I totally lose it and end up kicking a hole through the floorboards.
“So it’s true?” My father’s gravelly voice cuts through the silence. “You’re with Sean Mackenzie’s oldest?”
“Ivy,” I croak out. “Yeah.” I don’t ask how he knows. Gossip is a disease in football.
“Nice kid.”
I glance at him, incredulous. But then shake my head. Of course Dad has met Ivy. She seems to know everyone in professional sports. He catches my look and shrugs. “Haven’t seen her since she was a teenager. But she seemed to have a good head on her shoulders. Pretty too, in a subtle way.”
I snort and grind my clenched fist against my mouth.
“And you love her?”
“I want to marry her.” Not that he needs to know. But it feels good to say. Because nothing will change that truth.
Finally, traffic breaks, and he turns the car onto the main road. For some reason, I find myself looking at his hands. Those big hands that always felt like a hammer crashing into my skull when he’d cuff my head for some minor infraction. They look old now, the knuckles swollen, the skin spotted with age. A sick lurch goes through me.
I lean back, stare out the windows.
“It’s been a long time since you’ve been home,” Dad says in a low voice.
“I am home,” I say. When he doesn’t answer me, I glare at him. “Did you really think I’d ever come back?”
His profile is like granite. “Why wouldn’t you?”
My laugh is bitter and short. “Here’s a tip. You want your child to visit? You don’t fucking beat his ass when he’s a defenseless kid. You don’t let his older fuckhead brothers beat his ass.” I’m yelling now, my voice ringing in the space between us. “And you don’t fucking leave him alone to take care of his dying mother.”