Page 42

Chapter

Forty-One

I’d never run faster in my life.

I wove in and out of people as I made my way through the halls, occasionally bumping into the odd person.

I didn’t stop to apologize.

Kadian was awake, and I needed to get to him.

“Brida,” Magister Thorne greeted me as I ran towards him.

“How di—” I cut him off.

“He’s awake, Magister?” He stared at me before nodding.

I didn't linger for another second. Stepping into the room, I saw the most beautiful green and amber eyes, wide awake, ready to greet me.

“Kad!” I shouted, lunging forward to embrace him. Tears ran down my cheeks, I’d missed him so much. I pulled back from him just a bit as I sat next to him, cupping his face with my hands.

“Gods,” the tears continued to flow, “don’t ever pull a stunt like this again,” was all I could think to say.

He said nothing, offering only a blank stare.

“Kadian?” I said, feeling his forehead. He didn’t have a fever; he felt normal. “What is it?” I asked him, worry growing in my voice.

“I’m sorry,” his eyes found mine, “as much as I love to wake up to a,” he looked me up and down, “beautiful, vivacious woman caressing my face, would you mind telling me who you are?”

I shot upwards. “You don’t know who I am?” I asked him. It felt as if my body had turned as cold as ice.

“Am I supposed to?” He said as we continued to stare at each other. I had no idea what to do or say, I was paralyzed where I stood.

After a few moments, he said, “I’m just kidding, Bri,” and gave me the biggest grin I’d ever seen. I could’ve punched him.

“You prick, you absolute prick,” I said, hugging him once more. This time, he hugged me back, his hands wrapping around me, letting me know he missed me too.

“I’ve been so worried about you, Kad,” I said in between sobs, “really, I don’t think I’ve ever been so worried in my life. I didn’t know what t…”

“It’s okay, Bri,” he whispered while brushing away as many of the tears as he could.

“Gods, it’s not okay, Kadian. I brought us up there, if I hadn't insisted…”

“Stop,” he sat up straighter in the bed, “you have never once forced me to do anything. In fact, I believe on most occasions that I’ve been the one dragging you into terrible ideas. For example, do you remember when I told you we were going to a bar, and instead, I brought you to a pleasure den in Asteros?” He smiled once more.

I couldn’t stop laughing in and amidst my crying. “I do remember that.”

“Do you recall the really handsome brown-haired guy that dragged you into the back room and…”

“That’s enough, Kadian,” I smirked at him.

He held up his hands, opting for a truce and it felt as if part of my soul returned to my body. A piece of me that was so integral that I don’t know how I managed without it.

“How long have I been out?” He asked.

I told him of almost everything he’d missed.

“So you’ve been working with Alvar then?”

“I have. There’s a ball happening in a few days time. Speaking of which, we need to…”

There was a knock at the door, and Magister Thorne entered the room at that very moment. “Ah, Kadian, glad to see you are still among us,” he said a bit too cavalierly for my liking.

“Was it ever a possibility that I wasn’t going to be among you?” He looked from the Magister to me, and I slowly nodded.

“We had no idea what happened and what the outcome would be…” I whispered.

Magister Thorne made his way over to the chair beside the bed. He was moving slower than he had been just a few weeks earlier. His hair looked grayer. Gods, he looks just like Dad did before I left.

“Ah, that is better,” his voice cut through my thoughts, grounding me. “I’m wondering if you can tell me exactly what happened. It will be most valuable for our records should something like this occur again.” He pulled out a stylus and paper from a deep pocket on his light brown robes.

“I would be happy to, Magister, but I have no recollection of what happened that evening beyond going out with Brida.”

“Kadian,” I whispered as I reached my hand out back towards his, “do you really not remember?” He shook his head.

“Not a thing.” He said, leaning his head back on his pillow.

“A pity,” Magister Thorne clicked his tongue after a few moments.

“Should you remember anything, please do let me know. We’ll keep you here for the next few days for observation, and then you may go.” It took him several minutes to rise from his chair and make his way towards the door. With that, he left us alone.

“You don’t remember anything?”

“I told you, I don’t remember,” his expression was genuine.

“What’s the last thing you do remember?”

“We were walking. We stopped in that hallway, the one with all the mirrors,” he snapped his finger as if trying to recall our steps of that evening.

“The Celestial Corridor ,” I said.

“Yeah, that one.” He moved on quickly. “We came to some hallway, and then everything goes blank.”

“You don't recall the mist?” I rose to peer out the window. Below, in the courtyard, I could have sworn I glimpsed shadows shifting. I hadn’t realized how tired I was or how late it had become.

“What mist?” He said as his eyes followed me throughout the room.

“There was blinding mist outside of the entrance to the House of Whispers. You took off into it, something was speaking to you,” I said as I began to rub my temples.

“ Something was speaking to me ?”

I nodded. “You screamed and said ‘they are waking up’ before collapsing to the floor, and here we are,” I gestured my hand all around us. “I thought you died, Kadian.” I finally said, sitting next to him once more.

“I’m right here, Bri.” The smile he offered me made my heart hurt.

He didn’t remember what happened or what had been said to him, did he remember about Lil? Gods, what about Lil, and the ball, I had to tell him.

“ Uhm, Kadian,” I began to say, but there was a knock on the door once more.

“Yes.”

“Visiting hours are over, my dear,” the night nurse said.

“Thank you,” I replied as I clasped his hand once more. “Rest,” I kissed his forehead, “we’ll talk more tomorrow.” I cupped his face in my hands, all the while staring into his beautiful and familiar eyes, “I love you. Please don’t ever leave me again.”

“I’ll do my best,” he smiled at me.

“I’ll see you in the morning.”

Exiting the room, I was greeted to a familiar face.

“I heard he’s awake,” Marsh said as he smiled at me.

“Did Thorne tell you?” I asked.

“Thorne sent Xavius a message, and Xavius told me. I thought I would find you here,” he said as he put his hands into the pockets of his black suit.

He looked good. His hair had grown out since arriving in Azmeer, in addition to the slight stubble that now lived on his chin. His familiar scent of honey, and something else I couldn’t quite put my finger on hit me at that moment.

“Thanks for coming to check up on him,” I said.

“I didn’t come to check on him,” he said, “I came to check on you.”

He paused for a moment, “as much as I’m relieved to hear that Kadian is going to be okay, my main concern always has been and will always be you, Brida.” He took a step closer.

I could tell he wanted to come closer, but I kept my distance.

“Do you think we could spend some time together?” His eyes were hopeful. “Maybe we could go for a run? I’ll be here until after the ball. I’ll be free for the next several days," Marsh said, his voice casual, but there was a thread of something taut. I nodded, barely hearing him. As much as I appreciated what Marsh had done for me, I had no desire to place myself in the middle of whatever simmering rivalry was unfolding between him and Dainan. Whatever games they were playing, I wasn’t a pawn.

I’d been distracted enough from my purpose in Azmeer as it was. The selection would be upon us in a blink, and I could feel time slipping through my fingers like sand.

“I’ll be spending my free time with Kadian,” I said, the words coming out firmer than I intended. It wasn’t a lie. I needed him. His presence was the only thing tethering me to a semblance of normalcy in this twisted place.

“Of course,” Marsh said, nodding, but there was a flicker in his eyes, a shadow of something unresolved. Silence stretched between us, thick and heavy, before he finally broke it, his voice softer. “Do you think…that we might be able to talk over the next few days? I could look for you at the ball. I assume you’ll be attending since you’ve been working with the House of Shadows?”

His question lingered in the air between us, like a thread he hoped I would pull. “Okay,” I said, offering him a faint smile to ease the tension. “Look for me there, and we can talk.”

His face softened, a glimpse of relief easing the lines of his jaw. “Maybe we can have a dance?” He took a small step closer, his eyebrow raising in that way that always seemed to ask for just a little more than I was willing to give.

“Don’t push your luck,” I replied, the teasing edge in my voice belying the thrum of discomfort in my chest. I stepped around him, my fingers already curling around the cool brass door handle.

“I look forward to it,” he called after me, a wink in his voice as he vanished, almost as if he dissolved into the wind itself.

I exhaled, the weight of that conversation lingering on my shoulders like a shroud, and made my way to the inductees' quarters. Each step I took echoed against the limestone floor, a rhythm as familiar as my own heartbeat, grounding me in a world that often felt like it was slipping away.

Before returning to my room, I found myself standing in front of Tamra’s door. The soft murmur of whispers and the occasional burst of laughter drifted from inside, warm and intimate. I hesitated for a moment, then knocked.

“Come back later!” Amera’s giggle floated through the door, light and carefree. I smiled despite myself, feeling a small warmth spread through me. I was happy for them—glad that Tamra had someone in this whirlwind of uncertainty.

I moved on to Oz’s door. No answer. But from within, I could hear the unmistakable sound of soft snoring, and I couldn’t help the small chuckle that escaped me. Sleep had claimed him. I’d tell them about Kadian in the morning, when the world felt a little less heavy.

After soaking in a long, hot bath, jasmine and vanilla oils swirling around me like a delicate embrace, I stepped out onto my balcony. The cool night air kissed my damp skin, and I inhaled a deep breath, my chest filling with the scent of the garden mingled with the faint traces of magic that always seemed to hang in the air.

Above me, the sky was alive—brilliant and vast, a canvas painted with stars that glittered like diamonds, each one a tiny flicker of light in the infinite darkness. They danced, those stars weaving ancient stories in their timeless ballet. Altia and her serpent. Malize and his bow. The gods and their eternal watch over us. They seemed so distant, so serene, untouched by our mortal struggles below.

I felt a pang of something sharp, almost like envy. What would it be like to be free from the weight of mortal trials? To float among the stars, eternal and unburdened by duty, or fear, or longing?

I whispered into the night, almost without realizing it, “What would it be like to travel among the stars?”

The wind stirred, brushing against my face like a gentle caress. And then, as if the night itself answered, I heard a voice—soft, smooth, curling around me.

“I could show you the stars if you wish.”

“Could you now?” I asked, keeping my eyes trained on the stars above, refusing to let him draw me back into his orbit so easily.

His answer came like a whisper on the breeze, teasing. “I can't wait to see you in a few days.”

I said nothing. The wind wrapped around me, warm and familiar, but my mind was far away—floating among the stars, imagining what it would be like to slip away from all of this, to lose myself in the freedom of the endless sky.

I settled onto the balcony, pulling my knees to my chest, and lifted my gaze once more to the heavens, letting my mind drift. Maybe, just maybe, in another life, I could have danced with the stars.

???

“Why didn’t you wake me last night?” Oz asked, his tone somewhere between irritation and concern.

I shook my head, brushing it off. “I’m sorry. I was overwhelmed. Besides, visiting hours were over anyway.”

“Yeah, but I would’ve gone there first thing this morning,” he insisted, glancing toward Tamra, clearly hoping for some backup. But she shot him a sharp look, one that could have melted steel.

“We’re just glad he’s okay,” she said, her voice flat but tinged with frustration. Oz flinched under her gaze but held his ground.

“Just would’ve been nice to know, that’s all I’m saying,” he muttered, but before he could say more, Tamra jabbed him in the ribs with her elbow.

“Thank you,” I smiled at her, grateful for her silent support. “It wouldn’t have mattered anyway. Magister Thorne was examining him this morning. They wouldn’t let me in, even though Kadian said it was okay. I’ll be checking on him in a little bit.”

Oz chuckled, “I’m honestly shocked you didn’t bang the door down to get inside.”

I sighed, resting my elbows on the table and leaning my head against my hands. The weight of everything—the ball, Kadian, and especially Lil—felt heavier than usual today. “He doesn’t know about Lil,” I said quietly, the words coming out more like a confession than a statement. I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself. “I have to figure out how to tell him. So yes, I’m a bit of a coward for not breaking the door down this morning just to stare at him, knowing I have terrible news to share.”

Silence stretched between us, punctuated only by the clatter of dishes and the low hum of conversation from the other tables in the dining hall.

“I thought I'd go for a run, try to clear my head,” I added, gesturing to my outfit.

Tamra raised an eyebrow and smirked. “I did think you looked rather casual this morning.”

I glanced at Oz and Tamra. “Either of you care to join me?”

They both shook their heads in unison.

“I’m going to see Kadian,” Oz said, pushing back from the bench and standing up.

“Don’t say anything,” Tamra said sharply, grabbing his arm before he could take another step.

“Of course not,” he pulled his arm free, the hint of a smile playing on his lips. “I promise.” Then he turned to me.

“Tell him I’ll be there in a couple of hours,” I said, taking a bite of toast.

After Oz left, Tamra launched into a recount of her night with Amera. “She asked me to go to the ball with her as her date.” She said, her tone a mix of excitement and nervousness.

I smiled, taking a sip of my coffee. “Sounds like things are getting serious.”

“Yeah, I guess I’ll have to introduce her to Oz at some point soon,” Tamra laughed, shaking her head. Never one to linger on the topic of herself for long, Tamra asked, “What are you going to wear to the ball?”

I shrugged. “I haven’t thought about it. Probably one of the dresses they left in my closet. Same as I do with everything else.” I’d been too preoccupied, constantly reminding myself of the reason this ball was occurring in the first place. My clothes wouldn’t matter, none of it did.

Glancing across the room, I spotted Addie walking into the dining hall, her eyes searching until they landed on me. She waved, and I nodded toward her. “Addie’s over there,” I said, standing up. “I’m going to go say hi and then head to the gym. See you later?”

Tamra nodded, turning her attention back to her breakfast.

I wove my way through the crowded hall until I reached Addie, who greeted me with her usual bright smile. “I don’t normally see you in here,” I teased.

“I thought I’d catch you this morning. I heard the good news about Kadian,” she said, pulling me into a quick hug. “How’s he feeling?”

“Want to walk with me?” I asked, and she wrapped her arm around my shoulders as we left the dining hall.

I filled her in on everything, including Kadian’s incomplete memory. Addie listened carefully, her brow furrowing with concern.

“If Magister Thorne doesn’t advise against it, you should get Kadian to that ball,” she said thoughtfully. “He hasn’t been seen much since the accident, and the courts might find him more intriguing because of it.”

“I’ll make sure he gets there,” I promised. Her words gave me something to focus on, a small goal amidst the chaos.

As we reached the entrance to the gym, Addie smiled and squeezed my shoulders. “This is where I leave you. Good luck with your run.”

I rounded the corner to an almost empty track, relieved to see I could run in peace—until a flash of violet hair caught my eye.

Marsh.

He slowed as he spotted me, his smile wide as he approached. “Brida,” he said, his voice light. “Twice in less than twenty-four hours? I consider myself lucky.”

“I consider it somewhat stalkerish,” I replied, though I couldn’t help the faint smile that tugged at my lips.

He laughed, shaking his head. “Believe it or not, I was a runner long before you showed up.”

I glanced at him, then back at the empty track. “I can run ahead of you if you want,” he offered, mischief dancing in his eyes.

“It’s fine, Marsh,” I said, finishing my stretches. “Just...try to keep up.”

We kept a steady pace as we ran together in silence, our feet falling into a rhythm that felt oddly familiar, even though it had been months since we’d done this. Each lap around the track passed without a word, the quiet between us both comfortable and tense.

“I know we haven’t had a chance to talk since we went to Hadash. I’m sorry,” Marsh said as we rounded one of the curves, his shaky voice breaking the silence that had hung between us for so long.

I glanced at him, my chest tightening, panting. I replied, “What’s been happening there?”

“The earthquake caused significant damage to the cave systems,” he began, his voice low. “Some of the caves collapsed entirely. Part of the Eternal Court was built over those caves, and it suffered the highest number of casualties.”

I stumbled slightly at his words, regaining my footing. “Do they know what caused the quakes?”

He slowed to a stop, turning to face me. His violet eyes held an intensity that made my stomach knot. “They believe it originated from the Pool of Vitality,” he said.

I stood frozen. The heat from the sun seemed to vanish, leaving me cold. “Are you telling me…” I took a step closer to him, lowering my voice to a whisper. “That we somehow caused that earthquake?” My pulse raced, and a sickening feeling spread through my chest. The deaths of all those people—could we have been responsible?

Before the trip, Marsh had reassured me that visiting the pool was a common practice among members of the Eternal Court. I hadn’t thought anything of it. The idea that our visit could have triggered something so catastrophic felt unreal. But now, I wasn’t so sure.

“I’ve been trying to investigate that,” Marsh said, holding my gaze. “That’s why I’ve been going back to Hadash so often.”

I wiped sweat from my temple, the sun suddenly feeling unbearable again. “Have you found anything?” My heart pounded against my ribcage, the fear that we were to blame twisting inside me.

“The cave system with the Pool of Vitality is one of the few destroyed. Well,” he corrected himself, “the entrance was. No one’s been able to get inside since. It’s as if the cave sealed itself from within.”

I stared at him, the horror building in my expression. Was that even possible? I could feel the guilt creeping in, threatening to overwhelm me.

“Does anyone know we were there the night before?”

“No,” he assured me, his voice steady. “I kept that to myself.”

I prayed he was right—that this was all some terrible coincidence. The idea that we could have had a hand in so many innocent deaths was unbearable.

“Are you alright?” Marsh asked, his warm hand on my arm. I hadn’t realized I’d bent over, my breathing shallow and labored.

Slowly, I stood up straight. “Yes,” I said, though I wasn’t convinced. His smile helped ground me. “What have you been doing while you’re there?” I asked, hoping to focus on something else, anything else.

“At first, I helped with transportation. But when Qurasa suggested to Illerium that the quake might be linked to the Pool of Vitality, I asked to assist with the investigation,” he said as we made our way toward the table with water. “For the first few weeks, we tried to find a way inside the cave. When that failed, we started looking through historical records to see if something like this had happened before.”

He handed me a glass of water, which I downed in two gulps. “Have you discovered anything?” I asked, reaching for another glass.

“Nothing yet,” he sighed. “We’re still searching.”

“I hope I haven’t used up all my time with you,” Marsh said as we neared the exit, “and that we can still speak at the ball.”

“We’ll talk in a couple of days,” I replied, smiling faintly as we parted ways.

???

I shut the door behind me, the heavy click echoing in the stillness of the room. The sight of Kadian standing, stretching by the window, thrilled me. The morning light cast a soft glow around him, catching in his hair, making my heart flutter in my chest. He was out of bed—finally.

“Hello, stranger,” I said, trying to keep my voice light, but I couldn't shake the tightness in my throat. My heart raced, pounding so loudly I feared he'd hear it. “How’d you sleep?”

He smiled, the kind that was so effortlessly Kadian—bright, warm, like a dawn you wanted to step into. “I slept well. Better than I have in ages.”

His arms stretched over his head, muscles rippling beneath his tunic. “This view,” he laughed, nodding toward the window. “It's better than what I had in the inductees' quarters. It’s a shame I’ve missed it for most of my time here.”

I sat down on the edge of the bed, forcing myself to smile back. My stomach twisted, the words boiling beneath my skin, burning to be let out. “Kadian…”

He turned toward me, curiosity sparking in his golden eyes like sunlight on water. “Yes?”

I stared at him, and for a moment, I wanted to swallow the words back down. They felt too sharp, too heavy for the quiet, warm room. But I couldn't. Not anymore.

“We need to talk,” I said, the words tumbling out, unstoppable. “I tried to tell you last night, but I couldn’t…I don’t even know how to begin, but I have to, Kadian. I love you, and you're my best friend. You need to know. And I would never, ever want to hurt you?—”

"Brida," he said softly, sitting next to me, so close I could feel the warmth of him seeping through the space between us. “Slow down. Breathe.”

I did, shakily, trying to pull in air that felt too thick to swallow. His voice was steady, calm. “You have my attention.”

I twisted my hands in my lap, avoiding his gaze for a moment longer. “I told you yesterday about working with Alvar…”

He nodded, a small crease forming between his brows. “Yeah, you did.”

I turned toward him, “We’ve been planning the ball for weeks, Kadian. It’s to announce an engagement.”

Something shifted in his face—his eyes widened and lips parted in surprise. He stood, moving away from me like he needed space to breathe. “You’re marrying Alvar?”

His voice was edged with disbelief, and I wanted to laugh, to break the tension. But I couldn't.

“No—” I started, but he cut me off.

“Gods, Brida, I thought you had a thing for Dainan. Or Marsh, even though I never quite saw that one. But you—Alvar?” He smirked. “You’ve only ever had a thing for dark-haired men, and Alvar, well…” He trailed off, amusement flickering in his voice.

“Kadian.” I tried to keep my voice steady, but it wavered.

His grin grew as he paced in front of me. “So, you're to be a royal now? Will I have to bow and call you ‘Your Majesty’? This is all happening rather fast, isn’t it?”

“Kadian!” I stood, reaching out for him, desperate to pull him back to where we were, to ground us in the conversation I needed to have. “It’s not to announce my engagement.”

He stopped, the air stilling around us. His confusion was palpable as he stared at me, the humor draining from his face. "Oh… Well, that’s a relief. So, who’s getting married then?”

I sighed, the weight of the truth pressing down on me like a thousand stones. “It’s to celebrate two engagements.” I hesitated, the words sticking in my throat. “ The first …is for Prince Dainan and Iona.”

Kadian’s eyes darkened, his lips curling in distaste. "That obnoxious redhead?"

Gods, I loved him for that. "Yes," I said, managing a weak smile. “She’s had her eye on him for ages. And what Iona wants?—”

“—Iona gets.” he finished for me, his tone dripping with disdain. His gaze softened, a question still lingering in his eyes. “And?”

My breath caught, a knot tightening in my chest as I met his gaze. His eyes, usually so warm, felt like molten gold, burning with the intensity of his question. They danced with light, but I could feel the storm gathering behind them.

Here it goes.

“The second is for Prince Rai.” I paused again, my hands trembling as I clasped them together. “Prince Rai is going to marry Lil.”

For a moment, the world stood still. His expression was unreadable, a blank mask. No rage. No outburst. Just silence. It stretched on, wrapping around us, suffocating. Then, his lips parted, and he said, “I think Lil will be suited to royal life. She loves Azmeer.”

My heart stuttered. “What?”

He smiled, walking toward the window where the light played across his features. “Lil loves it here. We’ve known that since the day we met her. She wore jewels to our induction meeting, for Gods’ sake.” He shrugged as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

What is happening? I blinked. My mind scrambled to make sense of this.

“You’re…happy for her?” I asked, my voice barely a whisper.

He turned to me, confusion flickering across his face. “Of course I’m happy for her. As long as she’s happy, I’m happy for her.”

I collapsed into the chair beside the bed, my mind reeling. This was not how it was supposed to go. This wasn’t the reaction I had braced myself for.

“So… What’s the big deal? This ball is for Lil, and—” His eyes widened, his hand coming to rest on my knee as he knelt before me. “Oh…Brida, are you upset about Dainan’s wedding?”

I stared at him, utterly baffled. “Kadian… What was the last thing you told me about Lil?”

He paused, thinking, then shrugged. “I don’t remember. Was it important?”

He doesn’t remember. How can he not remember?

I forced a smile, my chest tightening as I fought to keep my composure. “The ball’s in two days. Magister Thorne says you’ll be able to attend.”

I stared at him, a hollow ache gnawing at my insides. He didn’t know. He didn’t remember.

Kadian's laughter tugged at my heart, the familiar sound wrapping around me like a comforting blanket, pulling me away from the storm that brewed inside. "Great!" he said with a grin, taking a bite of the sandwich left untouched on the tray.

“Looks like I’ll need to shave before the big event.” His eyes lingered on me for a moment, his tone suddenly softer. “You okay, Bri?”

I swallowed the lump forming in my throat, willing the tension to unravel itself from my chest. “Sorry,” I murmured, forcing a lightness I didn’t feel into my voice. “I went for a run this morning. Guess the heat got to me.”

The heat wasn’t what was suffocating me, though. It was the words. The truth I’d been choking down.

Kadian didn’t seem to notice. He’d already pulled out the shaving kit from the bedside table, smiling at me as if everything was as it should be. “It’s warm here,” he said, opening the razor with practiced ease. “As much as I love the cold, I can’t hate this weather. There’s something comforting about it, you know?”

Comforting. I wished I could find comfort in anything right now.

“I’ll let you be, I wouldn’t want you to make a mistake and cut your pretty face,” I stood and stretched my legs.

His smirk widened as he pointed the razor at me. “Hey, it’s a handsome face, Bri. Maybe even beautiful. Use the proper terms.”

I chuckled, but it was hollow. Stepping closer to him, I inhaled deeply, catching nothing but the earthy scent that had always been him. It was strange—too strange. The salt that had clung to him for weeks had vanished, like a memory I couldn’t quite grasp.

“I’ll come back after dinner,” I said, needing to escape the warmth of his room, the warmth of his presence. “Maybe Oz and Tamra can join us.”

“Oz is only allowed back here if he brings the money he owes me,” Kadian quipped, turning back to the mirror, the familiar humor in his eyes. “I kicked his ass at cards this morning.”

My heart squeezed tighter, the light banter doing nothing to lessen the weight pressing down on me. “I’ll see you later,” I whispered, knowing he wouldn’t hear the tremor in my voice. He was already focused on shaving, wiping away the last trace of the weeks he’d spent bedridden.

I stepped out into the hallway, barely registering where I was going. My mind was a whirlwind, thoughts colliding and crashing like waves against rocks.

Buzzing with a frantic energy, my fingers trembled as they reached for the door handle to my floor. Entering on the other side, I was stopped in my tracks—a large black box lay propped up against my door. It was sleek, with a blood-red ribbon tied around it, the seal of the Court of Shadows pressed into the attached card.

I swallowed hard, shifting the box into my arms as I pushed the door open with my hip.

With a deep breath, I placed it on the bed, my hands shaking as I broke the seal. The words written in bold, elegant script:

For a Lady of Shadows.

???

Around lunch time on the day of the ball, Kadian was discharged from the infirmary and escorted back to his rooms by Oz, Tamra, and myself.

“I cleaned while you were gone,” I said as we walked through the doorway, “please, try to keep it this way for at least an hour.”

“Not a chance,” he winked at me.

“So, what time does this party start tonight?” Oz collapsed on the bed.

“Whatever you do, if you see Prince Alvar around, be sure not to refer to it as a party in front of him. It starts at sundown. We have a few hours to get ready.”

The conversation drifted into plans and hopes for the night, the anticipation weaving through our words. As time ticked on, we drifted apart to prepare ourselves for the evening.

My hair, having grown over the past six months, cascaded down in gentle waves. The red in my hair was more visible than it had once been, edging my hair closer to auburn than black. I ran my fingers through it, feeling the soft texture that seemed to shimmer with its own vitality.

The black gown now hung in my closet, a silent reminder of the night looming ahead. I hadn’t wanted it to wrinkle—not that I felt much like wearing it. The moment I’d seen the gift, the blood-red ribbon, I knew Alvar had a hand in this.

I had planned to wear crimson—something striking but also safe. But when I mentioned it to Alvar, he was appalled. “You’re to be part of the Court of Shadows,” he had said, his brow furrowing in that disapproving way. “You should look the part.”

And so, here it was: the most beautiful black gown I’d ever seen. The fabric was like liquid night, sleek and heavy, with intricate stitching that shimmered under the light. He’d gone to great lengths to ensure the measurements were exact—when I slipped it on, it fit as if it had been sewn onto me, hugging my curves and flowing effortlessly down to the floor.

I ran my fingers along the bodice, feeling the smoothness of the fabric, the weight of the gown pulling me toward the floor like an anchor. The black onyx earrings that had come with the dress—delicate spears—dangled from my ears, cold against my skin. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and for a moment, I almost didn’t recognize the woman staring back.

She looked…elegant. Regal, even. But there was something hollow in her eyes, a flicker of dread that no amount of makeup or jewelry could hide.

My heart pounded as I fastened the last clasp, my hands trembling slightly. I paused, forcing myself to take slow, measured breaths. You can do this, I whispered, more to the reflection than to myself. You have to do this.

But the words felt empty, bouncing off the walls of my mind, offering no comfort. My chest tightened, and I could feel the sting of tears welling up behind my eyes. For a brief moment, I considered letting them fall. Maybe they would ease the weight pressing against my ribs, the guilt gnawing at the edges of my thoughts.

But I blinked the tears away. No. Not tonight . I couldn’t afford to let the cracks show. Not when everyone would be watching.

I wiped at the corners of my eyes, careful not to smudge the makeup I’d spent far too long perfecting. The dress, the earrings—I had to look perfect, as if I belonged.

My feet ached already in the heels I’d chosen—delicate black stilettos that completed the ensemble but felt like a form of quiet torture. Flats wouldn’t have sufficed. Not with a gown like this.

When I finally stepped out into the hallway, my legs felt shaky beneath me, as though they could give out at any moment. I walked slowly, the soft rustle of the gown trailing behind me as I made my way toward the entrance of the House of Shadows.

The doors were already open, an unusual gesture on Alvar’s part. He’d insisted that they remain open throughout the night so that no one would be left waiting outside, risking the door’s whimsical decision to bar latecomers.

I swallowed hard, my throat tight as I climbed the stairs. Each step made me more aware of the ache in my feet and the knot in my stomach. I could hear the faint sounds of music drifting through the air as I approached the ballroom—the musicians practicing their pieces, the notes echoing softly down the hallway. The scent of roasted meats and hors d’oeuvres followed soon after, wafting toward me as if to beckon me inside.

I paused just outside the ballroom, my heart racing in my chest. I am more than my fear, I told myself. I am the story I choose to write. And with that, I lifted my chin, squared my shoulders, and stepped forward into the gilded light of the ballroom.

Entering the ballroom was like stepping into a dream. The grandeur of it all seemed to swell around me, even more breathtaking than the first time I had seen it. The sight of Alvar, poised and impeccably dressed in a fitted black jacket and a deep red shirt, caught me by surprise. His attire revealed a glimpse of his chest and muscles, a detail I often overlooked but now found startling.

“Brida,” he took a few steps toward me, “you look stunning. I’m so pleased you didn’t opt for red, it would have been a ghastly decision with your hair.”

I couldn’t help the smile that bloomed on my face. “I suppose I have you to thank for this,” I said, gesturing to the dress that seemed to shimmer with the essence of the night sky, its constellations woven into the fabric. The thin straps and low cut, coupled with the daring slits up to mid-thigh, made it perfect for dancing.

“As much as I would love to take credit for this look,” his eyes traced me, “I cannot. I have been far too busy. Besides, Asana may be forgiving in most things, however dressing my protégé would be where she draws the line.” He laughed.

Who sent this to me then?

“Come with me.” Alvar ushered us to the table for the Court of Reflection. “Do you think it’s the right shade of blue?” His arms were crossed as he stood back, judging the table as if it were being tried for murder.

“I’m not sure it really matters,” I told him. It was the wrong color. It wasn’t the color we’d selected, but it would have to do.

“That doesn’t answer the question, Brida,” he took a step towards it and began to rub his fingers over it in inspection.

“I’m not sure feeling the fabric is going to change its color, Alvar.” He shot me a look. He was not in a playful mood.

I could hear him groan as he stood back once more, “it will have to do.”

By the time we checked the other tables, the musicians, and their instruments—Alvar was an expert in tuning, in addition to stopping by and reminding the chef that he was to save Alvar each type of eclair, guests had started to arrive.

“Okay,” Alvar took a deep breath. His hair was pulled back into a low bun this evening. It highlighted his features, and tonight, anxiety was the strongest feature of them all.

“Do you always worry this much?” I asked him as he grabbed a glass of champagne from a tray, downing it in one swig.

He paused for a moment and smiled. “Everything looks beautiful, Brida. You did a wonderful job. Even though the table is the wrong color.”

I placed my hands on his arms, “ we did a wonderful job.”

I looked to the entryway, and in the midst of the crowd, I saw Asana enter; the look on Alvar’s face was one of pure admiration and love. “Go, before everyone sees you and realizes just how in love you actually are,” I said as I laughed, “you look like a love-sick puppy.”

His grin turned wicked, “Save a dance for me?” He made his way towards her, grabbing another glass of champagne as he went.

I smiled.

If he continues to drink champagne like that, it’ll be the most entertaining dance of my life.

Guests trickled in, their murmurs and gasps weaving through the air like a soft symphony of awe. They marveled at the House of Shadows, their eyes reflecting the grandeur that had become standard to me. The walls pulsed with live veins, veins that flickered with an ethereal glow, light dancing in every corner. Shadows slithered around the guests, curling around my ankles and climbing my legs like affectionate serpents. I felt their touch on my arms, a reminder of the House’s living magic.

I waited for Oz, Tamra, and Kadian to join me, the crowd’s conversations forming a constant, undulating background hum. Fragments of conversation reached me:

“I didn’t know Prince Dainan was even entertaining marriage.”

“He was not. The rumor is…”

“Thalius was the conspirator behind this arrangement. You know how he can be when he gets an idea in his head.”

“Have you tried the roasts?”

“Have you seen the king?”

The heat of the room and the endless chatter became overwhelming, a press of warmth and noise. I sought refuge on one of the balconies, stepping outside into the cooler embrace of the evening air. I leaned against the railing, taking a deep breath as the warm breeze swept over me. The view was breathtaking—lanterns outside the city walls glowed like distant fireflies, their soft light twinkling in the darkness.

“Escaping to get some quiet?” a familiar voice interrupted my solitude.

I turned to find Marsh standing beside me, his presence as comforting as it was unexpected. His black suit made him look effortlessly handsome.

He joined me at the railing, his gaze lost in the expanse of the city below.

We stood together in silence, the hum of the party a distant murmur through the glass doors. His presence was calming, a soothing counterpoint to the evening’s chaos.

“This doesn’t have to be awkward, you know,” he nudged me, his tone light but sincere. “Not unless you want it to be.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, my voice catching as I faced him. The weight of my earlier actions felt heavier now. “I’ve been pushing you away, not only because I was mad at you but also because I’ve been mad at myself.” My eyes met his, searching for understanding. “I meant it when I kissed you, Marsh. I had no idea what I was doing when I danced with Dainan. It complicated things for me, and I’m sorry.”

He paused, his fingers tracing idle patterns on the railing. “Do you…”

“Go ahead, ask your question,” I urged, leaning back against the balcony and closing my eyes, trying to steady the tumult within me.

“It’s none of my business,” he said quietly.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course,” he replied, his expression relaxed but guarded.

“Why do you and Dainan hate each other?” The question slipped out before I could second-guess it, and I watched as his face tightened, his gaze growing distant.

He hesitated, then gestured toward a nearby bench. “It’s a bit of a long story. I’ve known Dainan for a long time. My father helped his father in the Battle of Talvig.”

The name of the battle brought a twinge of recognition. The battle that had cemented Elidas’s claim to the throne.

“Our fathers worked closely together, and even though Dainan was still young, he was already a fierce warrior. He spent most of his early years away from home, training in Hadash or the Tactras Mountains.” He continued, his voice steady but shadowed with memory. “When he arrived at the Court of Whispers, we became good friends—the three of us.”

“The three of you?” I asked, curiosity piqued.

“Yes, the three of us.” He exhaled, his smile faint and sad. “My best friend was a girl named Cyria. You remind me of her, actually,” he said, his eyes softening. “She and Dainan became close. It wasn’t encouraged, her family wasn’t affiliated with the Court of Shadows. When it came to the Battle of Talvig, Cyria and I were sent to the Western Front while Dainan stayed on the Southern Flank despite us having trained together.”

I nodded, urging him to continue.

“Our side suffered many casualties. During the chaos, Cyria and I got separated. I didn’t find out what happened to her until later that day when I went searching for her.” His face contorted with grief. “By the time I got there, Dainan had already found her. She died in the fighting, and Dainan blamed me for not protecting her.”

“I’m sorry,” I said softly, my hand rested on his arm. “I can only imagine how terrible that must have been. For both of you.”

“Thank you,” he said. “But that was a long time ago. Dainan hasn’t let it go. Since then, he’s gone out of his way to pursue any woman I show interest in.”

“Has that been many?” I asked with a smirk, trying to lighten the mood.

“No,” he chuckled, the sound bittersweet. “Well, I wasn’t expecting to have this conversation tonight.” He offered me his hand, a gesture of camaraderie and perhaps something more.

“Do you think we could share a dance this evening?” Marsh’s voice was hopeful as he took a step closer.

“If we do,” I began, “I would like it to be as friends.”

“Brida Larrow, I accept,” he said with a bow, his smile warm and genuine.

“I need to go find Kadian. Come find me later, and we can have that dance,” I said, smiling as we parted ways.

I soon found my friends by the food table. Oz and Kadian blended in in their black suits, each exuding a distinct charm. Tamra, dressed in a deep red suit that highlighted her warm complexion, looked stunning.

“Gods,” Tamra exclaimed, her eyes wide as she took in my appearance.

“You look fucking incredible,” Oz added, his voice filled with admiration. I felt a flush of warmth spread across my cheeks.

Kadian pulled me into an embrace, pressing a soft kiss to my cheek. “You look amazing. Anyone who says otherwise is out of their Gods damned mind.”

The intensity of their stares made me squirm. “It’s not like I don’t put effort into my appearance most days,” I said, trying to brush off their praise, though their laughter filled me with a sense of pride.

“Yeah, but,” Tamra said, her gaze sweeping over me appreciatively, “this is different.”

Maybe she was right. I did feel different. But as the night went on, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was lurking beneath the surface, ready to unravel the evening.