Page 32

Chapter

Thirty-One

Hey Dad,

There is so much I want to talk to you about; however, it cannot be discussed in a letter.

In the meantime, I wanted to let you know that I will begin my placement soon.

I think I am close to making a decision, but haven’t decided yet.

When I do, I’ll let you know.

Addie says to say hello and that she hopes to see you soon, as do I.

I miss you.

Give Flora my love.

Love you,

Bri

???

The House of Shadows does not keep records like that in the library.

My conversation with Addie concerning Yezed had been on loop in my mind following the placement notices.

Most of us received two offers, except Oz, who had only been offered the Eternal Court.

“It makes sense, and besides, it’s the one I was hoping for, so I’m glad for it,” he took a bite of a tart.

Tamra had been offered a placement in the Eternal Court and Court of Shadows, which we all thought was somewhat surprising.

“I’m very dark and mysterious,” Tamra said, attempting to make her face look even more serious than usual.

“Dark, yes, mysterious ?” Oz shook his head, “I don’t buy it.” Tamra smacked him in the arm, we all laughed.

Well, all of us except Tamra.

“What about you?” Tamra pointed her fork at Kadian, who had only taken a few bites of his dinner.

“Eternal Court and Court of Reflection,” he said almost in a whisper.

My mind drifted back to events the day following the notices of our placements.

When a fellow inductee had asked Illerium which traits each of the courts look for, he had said, “The courts like to keep that information to themselves. However, it’s speculated that each court does value specific things.”

He paused for a moment, considering how much to reveal.

“The Eternal Court,” he continued, “of course, values strength and bravery. They are often the first to a battlefield, but not all of their members are fighters. There are some who carry the gift of history. These keepers of the past hold the stories of our world, though it’s a gift seldom given. The Eternal Court admires those who are keen on studying the past. So if you have an eye for ancient texts or unraveling forgotten mysteries, you might find a place among them.”

Illerium’s eyes flickered as he spoke about the Court of Reflection.

“The Court of Reflection is different. Strength means very little to them. What they value is adaptability. Agility of the mind and body—being able to change, to reflect, and to act with clarity and precision. They admire an even temperament and quick thinking. You must be able to navigate their world with fluidity, a calm mind ready to react without hesitation.”

The conversation shifted, and his voice dropped when he spoke of the Court of Whispers.

“Cunning,” he said, his lips curling into a smirk.

“They value those with sharp wits, a mind for diplomacy and politics. They don’t care about brute force. They need people who can move unseen, speak with precision, and use their words as weapons. It’s a court where alliances can shift in a heartbeat, and only the most clever survive.”

His expression hardened.

“The Court of Shadows is for those who exude power. They look for strength, yes, but it’s more than that. It’s about presence—commanding a room, bending others to your will. A willingness to lead and take control, even if it means stepping over others to do so. They don’t need followers; they want rulers.”

I had to assume Dainan had been the source behind my invitation.

Based on Illerium’s descriptions, it was not where I belonged.

The House of Shadows does not keep records like that in the library.

After that day’s lesson, I made up my mind and headed to Magister Illerium’s office.

As I approached, I spotted him outside, deep in a heated discussion with Marsh, who stood with his back to me in a sharp black suit.

I lingered off to the side, waiting for their conversation to end.

My heart ached. I hadn’t seen or heard from Marsh in weeks, despite having written to him to apologize, to share my side of what he had seen.

Despite having written him five letters, I’d received nothing.

I’d never heard Marsh raise his voice before.

It seemed odd that he would be doing so to his direct superior.

Illerium opened his office door and closed it on Marsh’s face.

When he turned around to find me standing there, he shook his head and vanished.

I remained uncertain if I was angry with myself, the situation, Dainan, or Marsh.

I had to think that Marsh would know that pucchia lingered in the air that night and the effects it could have.

Pucchia is said to just…

encourage you to do things that you would already do.

I didn’t have the time or energy to think about that now.

I knocked on Illerium’s door.

“Marsh, if that’s you, don’t bother. I’ll summon you when I’m ready.” His voice boomed from inside.

I didn’t think him capable of speaking that loud.

“Magister Illerium,” I muttered, almost apologetically, “It’s Brida Larrow.”

There was silence.

“Yes, fine, come in.”

I’d never been in his office before.

If Addie was disorganized, well, it was as if a storm had come through here.

Nothing appeared to be in order.

The room had shelves from floor to ceiling that contained scrolls, books of all shapes and sizes, notes that had been scribbled, all scattered about.

I saw a deep bronze astrolabe, a gilded birdcage that was empty, along with countless knickknacks.

Atop his desk sat a stack of books, at least twelve.

You could barely see him behind them.

"Yes?" he asked with reluctance.

“I wanted to inform you of my decision, Magister…in regards to my placement.”

“Ugh, that, yes, well, I’m to inform you that you have also been offered a position at the Court of Whispers.”

“The Court of Whispers?” I replied, “They weren’t mentioned in the letter I was given.”

“Yes, well, they exceeded the deadline, but you have been offered a placement.”

“Did Marsh ask for this?”

Magister Illerium rose, placing his hands on his desk, “Why yes, yes he did, Ms. Larrow,” his tone grew angrier, “you may not have noticed, Ms. Larrow, that I’m a busy man, and you may not know that I do not like being interrupted. I have now been interrupted twice in a single afternoon. Now, it may not have occurred to either of you but it is not my job to play matchmaker, whomever you choose to see on your own ti?—”

“Magister,” I interjected, “I had nothing to do with Marsh making that request of you and only came to inform you of my decision, as you indicated.”

He nodded, “Very well. Does this news alter your decision?”

“It does not,” I said.

“What is your final decision?”

“Please inform Fayma Aliz that I appreciate her offer and accept.” I knew Addie would be supportive of my decision.

This was my opportunity, not only to help Dad, but to find out more about Mom.

He nodded, sitting back down.

I turned and attempted to navigate my way to the door, trying not to step on something that could be hiding or alive.

“Ms. Larrow,” his voice called, staring down at the document he’d been working on, “you’re sure with this decision?”

“I am, Magister,” he nodded once more.

I closed the door behind me.

Why had Marsh requested a placement for me and then refused to speak to me?

Oz’s voice cut through my memories, bringing me back to the present.

“So none of us got Court of Whispers?” He asked, looking around at each of us.

I’d chosen to keep the incident outside of Marsh’s office to myself.

“Unsurprising, none of us is cunning enough. Well, maybe Lil would have been.”

Kadian shot up at the mention of Lil’s name.

I placed my hand over his, reminding him we were among friends, giving it a slight squeeze.

“Which one will you choose?” Oz looked over to Kadian, who just sat there staring at his plate.

“I’m leaning towards the Court of Reflection,” he said and I knew why.

He was missing Lil more than the rest of us.

He couldn’t quite explain it, and I hadn’t had it in me to tell him what Thetius had shared with me in the pool.

“Maybe take a day or two to think about what will be best for you, ” I said.

He didn’t bother to look at me.

It didn’t matter what I or anyone else said; there was no way he was choosing anything other than the Court of Reflection.

His eyes found mine, and all I saw was despair.

I didn’t know how to help him.

We’d all tried. I had taken him to the medic on multiple occasions, but they had dismissed his condition as a poor adjustment to the climate—a diagnosis that gnawed at me, leaving a bitter taste of doubt.

Determined to find answers, I spent countless hours in the library, poring over texts, searching for anything that might help him.

I scoured ancient tomes and dusty scrolls, desperate to uncover a remedy for both my father’s ailment and Kadian’s struggles.

Yet every lead I followed led to dead ends or vague references that offered no real solutions.

Most mornings, I found myself dragging Kadian from bed, trying to motivate him to train or to engage in his coursework, but it was clear that my efforts weren’t enough.

I had even taken to writing his essays, believing that if I could at least ease his burden, he might find his footing again.

Oz, Tamra, and I spent the remainder of our dinner talking while Kadian sat silent, acknowledging us every so often.

We speculated what tasks each court would have us working on.

Oz hoped his spy skills would be put to work and he would be allowed to look over classified documents.

I reminded him for that type of thing, he would have been better suited in the library.

We all played a few rounds of cards that night.

Oz taught us a game called Crescendia, named for the mythical king, Crescend.

“You’re cheating,” Tamra said, folding her hand, glaring at Oz.

“I would never!” His grin grew bigger.

Tamra had been spending more time with us.

It felt if Lil and Emia were here that our group would be complete.

I’d remained unsure what Emia had meant by her note.

Despite my research in the library, the sole thing I could discover for Dawn had been the time of day.

I’d written to her but hadn’t heard anything in return.

I looked to Kadian, who hadn’t said anything for the past twenty minutes.

“I’m going to head to bed,” I said while looking at the twins.

“Kadian?” His eyes found mine.

“Care to walk with me?” He nodded and rose, mumbling what I could only have assumed to be goodnight, but none of us could make it out.

I shrugged to them, “See you in the morning.”

He said nothing until we made it to his door, “Thanks for walking with me. I…I think I need some sleep.”

I placed my hand on his arm, “Let’s get you inside,” I pushed open his door.

Kadian froze as he walked into the room.

We saw a tall woman with golden blonde hair standing with her back to us, staring out the window.

“Lil?” I said.

The woman turned around, and it looked as if Kadian’s heart had been ripped from his chest. It wasn’t her.

A tear ran down his cheek.

“She told you to call her Lil, did she,” she walked over to the bed and sat down.

“No, I’m not Lil. I think that much is obvious,” she said, gesturing to the chair in front of the desk.

I walked Kadian over and sat him down while closing the door behind me.

“I do appreciate you thinking I was her, though; good to know I’m still not quite looking my age,” the woman said with a smirk.

“Who the fuck are you?” Kadian growled, color coming back to his cheeks.

“Easy,” she said, holding up her hands, “I’m only the messenger.”

“You’re a messenger?” I asked, “Whose messenger?”

“My daughter’s, of course.”