Page 13 of The Forbidden Love of an Officer (The Marlow Family #7)

‘It is a shame you have to endure another long journey so soon, Ellen.’

Tiredness shadowed her eyes. He had kept her awake half the night. He smiled. She did too. She did not look unhappy about it.

The inn’s grooms were readying their carriage behind her.

‘It does not matter. I knew it would be so,’ she answered.

He nodded and tapped her under the chin. Stalwart, that was his wife.

The snow had melted yesterday, the tracks would now be slush and mud, and it would be a much slower journey to Portsmouth. Travelling was a game of endurance she was going to have to become used to.

It took five days. Five days of dull inactivity within a carriage.

Five days in which he was unable to fully appreciate the beauty of his wife.

Although, on two occasions, as they had travelled through the night, he had persuaded her to sit astride him and lift her petticoats.

She had blushed both times he had asked, so he had tamped the lamp to save her embarrassment.

Yet he knew such moments would often be hurried and stolen when they joined the regiment – she would have to adjust and become used to others being in earshot.

The carriage pulled into the courtyard of an inn near the docks in Portsmouth. The time for carefree living was at an end.

Once the wheels had come to a halt, he opened the door, climbed down and handed her out.

‘I’ll settle you into a room, then leave you here and find the lieutenant colonel.

I need to tell him I’m here and find my men.

I’ll come back afterwards.’ Lifting his fob watch from his pocket, he flicked it open to check the time.

It was two after midday. ‘I should return for dinner. But if I have not, order a meal and eat in our room.’

She nodded, but he could see she was nervous. She caught her lower lip between her teeth, as if holding back the words, don’t go . He did not want to leave. Yet this was his life, many times she would be left alone.

She smiled; it trembled a little. ‘I know you must go, it is your duty.’ Her answer implied she had read his mind, and he thanked God she was brave enough to override the words her heart wished to say.

At least she understood. ‘Come then.’

He settled her into a room, which looked out onto the busy street, although to the far right you could glimpse the sea, then said, ‘Goodbye,’ after kissing her lips.

He wanted to stay, but her words were true – he had a duty. That came first, and pleasure afterwards.

It took a half hour to walk through the docks and up the hill to the barracks.

The other officers were there, with the lieutenant colonel.

Paul was told who had arrived and who was still to come, the date they would sail and the name of the ship he and his men were to use.

Then he went to visit his men who shared a room in the barracks.

They greeted him, after saluting, with smiles and laughter, and he was smacked on the shoulder a dozen times when he told them he had married a few days before.

The 52nd was different. They had a rule that officers drilled with their men, and it developed a camaraderie and friendship which did not exist in other troops.

As Ellen had said, he could have ridden in the cavalry, but the closeness of these men had carried him through the last years.

They had endured horrors together, lost comrades and survived to fight again.

He could not walk out and leave them when he had told them of the plans for their sailing, so he sat down and shared a drink with them, then played a hand of cards, but all the time his blood itched to be back at the inn with Ellen.

When he finally found an excuse to leave, it was dark. He looked at his watch. Seven. She would be bored and lonely. He quickened his pace.

In fact, she was asleep. She lay on top of the large bed in their room, fully clothed.

She’d taken the pins out of her ebony hair and it spread across the quilt, her pale skin in stark contrast. He had not seen her hair loose since Christmas Day.

She was such a precious sight. He let her beauty ease his soul; the memories of war, the sounds of cannon fire and rifles that had invaded his thoughts when he had sat among his men slipped away.

‘Ellen.’

She sat up and blinked.

She stole his breath when he saw her for the first time each day. She was a balm to soothe his battle-sore soul. ‘I have ordered dinner.’ The innkeeper had told Paul she had not eaten.

He sat on the edge of the bed. ‘Is sleeping all that you have done?’

She nodded. ‘I was tired.’

He lifted her hand and kissed her fingers. ‘We are to sail in four days. Tomorrow, I will take you to meet the other officers and my men.’ She looked nervous. ‘They will like you, Ellen.’

She nodded. A knock struck the door, announcing the arrival of their dinner.

* * *

When Paul ushered her into his lieutenant colonel’s quarters, cold fear tightened in Ellen’s stomach.

It had been one thing to travel with Paul, it was completely another to become a part of his life.

She had stepped into a world far beyond her father’s sheltered realm.

This was a world she did not know, one in which Paul was the warrior who still frightened her a little.

Paul’s body stiffened as he entered. It felt as though his thoughts detached from her. Here, he was the soldier who had killed the highwayman, not the man who had turned music pages for her in her father’s drawing room – the man who could make her smile and laugh.

All the men she was introduced to were just as intimidating, dressed in their smart red and gold regimental coats, looking tall and confident.

But all of them smiled and bowed over her hand, wishing her well, and giving both her and Paul words of congratulations.

Only his commanding officer, the lieutenant colonel, made her continue to feel uncomfortable, because he never stopped watching her from the moment she and Paul had entered until the moment they left.

But the conversation progressed and all the men were polite and jovial.

Particularly a man Paul said was his closest friend, Captain George Montgomery.

He followed them out of the office and onto the parade ground.

‘I am pleased for you, Paul. You’ve picked a pretty little piece…’ His smile was for Paul, but passed onto Ellen. ‘We will have a ray of sunshine to look forward to in our baggage train, ma’am.’ He gave Ellen another swift bow.

‘She will be my ray of sunshine though,’ Paul answered, the jest half joke and half warning. His friend winked in Ellen’s direction.

A blush burned her skin.

‘Quite the diamond,’ Captain Montgomery commented, looking back at Paul. ‘And all yours, yes, I know. No wonder you do not wish to leave your wife behind.’

‘Come.’ Paul’s hand gently embraced her arm. ‘Let me introduce you to my men. Good day, George.’ Glancing back at his friend, he nodded in parting, the pressure of his fingers encouraging Ellen to move away.

‘Good day, Paul.’ His friend’s smile passed from Paul to her again. ‘Ma’am.’

She smiled. He was a rogue; she could see the twinkle in his eye, and as they walked away Paul confirmed it. ‘George is a charmer, but you are to pay no mind to it, he is harmless in reality. Simply a slave to a pretty face?—’

‘A sublime face!’

The shout came from behind them, and they both looked back. Captain Montgomery grinned, lifting a hand in a gesture that said goodbye. Paul scowled when she looked at him, but then his gaze grew depth and warmth. ‘It is true, though – you have a sublime face,’ he said, with humour in his voice.

A smile she could not have held back parted her lips.

She could live in Paul’s world when there was a soft look in his eyes to carry her through.

He let go of her arm, and instead she held his, as he pointed to a two-storey, red-brick building on the far side of the parade ground.

‘My men are quartered there. Tomorrow I shall have to be here at eight o’clock to run them through their paces.

I imagine they will have been lax during leave. It is time we returned to routine.’

She could not even begin to imagine the routine of her new life.

When they entered the room full of soldiers, it was very different from meeting the officers. There were shouts and whoops, and a mass of masculine energy surrounded her. She pressed close to Paul, holding the sleeve of his scarlet coat tighter as his other arm lifted, calling for quiet.

‘Show my wife some courtesy!’

The men then paraded past her, and Paul gave their names as they bowed.

She did not lift her hand to any of them but feeling wide-eyed and unnerved, nodded at their comments and congratulations. Her mind spun with names at the end of it, and she could not match one to any man in the room.

‘Will you stay and take a drink with us?’ Paul’s sergeant asked Paul.

Paul looked at her, a question in his eyes. Are you comfortable?

She was to live among these men, in closer quarters than she had lived with her sisters. She refused to be feeble. She nodded.

The sergeant flicked his hand at one of the soldiers who moved to begin pouring from a jug, and others then moved too, refilling pewter beakers.

She was given one full of frothing small beer, as was Paul, and then the sergeant encouraged them to take a seat on a long bench beside a long wooden table.

The sergeant stood to make a toast, holding up his dented tankard.

‘To the Captain and his wife.’

‘To the Captain and his wife!’ the room chorused at a deafening pitch.

Ellen looked along the table. At least fifty faces stared back, smiling. She was probably as red as it was possible to be, but still she lifted her beaker. ‘Thank you.’

‘Aye, thank you, for your good wishes,’ Paul added, and then they both drank.

Ellen looked at him as he set down his empty tankard. She set down hers, still half full.

He appeared different among his men; energy, mastery and pride oozed from his stance. He was definitely the warrior here, and he looked older.

He turned to her, as if he sensed her staring, caught her hand and lifted it onto his thigh.

Love welled up inside her. Yes, he was a soldier, but his strength was protective, and with her, his touch was always gentle.

When they left the barracks, they walked along the seafront, returned to the inn and ate their dinner in a private parlour.

‘When I drill the men tomorrow, you may come with me if you wish? Not to stand on the parade ground, you understand, but you may watch from the barrack room I will have been allocated. You will be among the men all the time as we travel, it is best you get to know this life.’

She smiled. ‘I will come.’ She wanted to learn and to fit in. At the moment, it was all alien.

A smile tilted his lips, forming the dimple that stirred her heart with tenderness. Warmth and depth filled his eyes. ‘Shall we retire?’

That same warmth turned her stomach over as he took her hand and kissed her knuckles. She rose and followed him upstairs.

* * *

When Ellen woke in the morning, Paul stood before the wash bowl in the corner of the room. He held a razor in his hand, as he looked at his image in a small mirror, shaving.

He wore no shirt and his feet were bare, he was only dressed in his grey pantaloons with his braces hanging loose.

She watched the muscles moving in his back, shoulders and upper arms, as they etched shifting lines beneath his skin. Her husband’s physique was as superb as the ancient marble statues lining the halls in her father’s Palladian mansion.

Ellen stretched. He must have caught her movement in the mirror and met her through his reflection, smiling. ‘Good morning, my love.’

My love. Those words made her stomach tumble over and the sight of his smile made her giddy with joy.

‘Once I am clothed, I will order breakfast. We will eat in the parlour, so I shall send a maid up to help you dress.’

Ellen nodded. She remained in bed, and watched him finish shaving and dress. As he secured the buttons of his scarlet coat, smiling at her observation, pride flared in her heart as well as love. He was a man to be proud of.

He came to the bed and brushed a kiss on her cheek. ‘I will go downstairs then and send up a maid.’

As soon as he had gone, Ellen rose. She washed and prepared herself, her heart beating swiftly. She would start her life as a soldier’s wife today.

After breakfast they walked up the hill to the barracks. As they walked through the gate, the guards saluted Paul. He saluted them in reply.

He led her to a small room in the red-brick building. Light broke into the dingy room through a narrow window in the outer wall, illuminating the single cot-like bed.

When Paul left, she leaned her elbows on the windowsill and looked down onto the parade ground.

In a few minutes she saw him down there, walking to the centre.

His men came from the far corner and gathered in lines.

He did not merely stand and order them to walk this way and that, but marched with them, shouting for them to form a square, then lines, three men deep.

They walked about, but he frequently ordered them from one structure to another.

Then he called for them to lift, arm, kneel and aim their rifles a dozen times, before checking that they all held their rifles as they should.

It was an impressive spectacle, but again she had the feeling she did not really know the man she watched.

At the end of the activity, he spoke with each man and checked their equipment before letting them leave. Of course, here it merely looked a theatrical show, but it was preparation for battle, not entertainment.

When he came to the room to fetch her, he was still in the guise of a military man, so although she wished to hug him, she did not.

She did not think he would welcome it. But outside the barracks, he offered his arm and said he would walk her back to the inn and eat luncheon with her before returning alone to speak with the officers.

She wondered if this would be her new life, watching his through occasional windows, while he fulfilled his duty and excluded her with stiff, silent coldness? In order to do his duty, he must close off his emotions – she understood – but she did not love the soldier, she loved the man.

When he left after luncheon, he did not leave her with nothing to do, though, he ordered her to make a list of everything she would need to take to America, and bid her to write an advertisement for a woman to act as her maid, and general help.

He said they would employ a woman when the regiment reached Cork.