Page 44 of The Flame of Carson (Blackout Security Inc. #3)

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S tacey groaned as she sat up blinking in confusion.

Wait, why was she in her bed? She noticed the fading light that filtered in through the windows.

Frowning, she threw off the sheets and comforter.

Absentmindedly, she plucked her robe from the foot of her bed and threw it on.

Still confused, she made her way downstairs.

The last thing she remembered, she and Gage had been at the federal building giving their statements.

Why could she not remember coming home? Or apparently getting a shower and laying down, seeing as her hair was still damp.

She had just stepped through the doorway into the kitchen when it came slamming back at her.

The explosion. The shaking of the building.

Stacey suddenly could not catch her breath.

She remembered the smell of smoke, the far away sound of Gage’s voice telling her they were safe.

They were outside of the building. Stumbling, Stacey made it to one of her breakfast barstools.

She tried to steady her breathing as more came back.

Gage, holding her, as someone drove them home.

Gage, just talking to her calmly and soothingly, as he gently and lovingly bathed her.

She had been like a child, unable to bathe herself.

Finally, her chest lightened, and her breath returned to normal.

She held the lapels of her robe tightly and carefully stood from the barstool.

She wanted Gage. No, she NEEDED Gage. NOW.

Barefoot and still trembling a little, she went off in search of him, knowing he was somewhere in the house. He would not have left her alone.

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“W ere the bomb and crime techs able to find anything?” Gage sighed, pacing Stacey’s office.

“Yeah surprisingly. The explosive device was hidden in the chip bag. Half the casing survived the blast. It’s almost like...” Grant’s voice faded off.

“Like whoever did this WANTED us to find it?” Gage finished.

“Yes. We know Anderson wasn’t working alone. If those messages Tony and Eli found are real, there’s another target out there. This target is for the unknown brother. They were each targeting someone. Anderson was going after you and his brother is targeting someone else. But why?” Grant agreed.

“Well, Anderson thought I had robbed him of MARSOC. Could be this other target was picked for the same reason. Except, the wronged party is Anderson’s partner.” Gage sighed, pacing now, a hand threading through his hair.

“ Tony and Eli are still working on Anderson’s laptop they found where he took Stacey. Speaking of Stacey, how is she?” Grant asked.

“She was sleeping when I came downstairs to take your call. I don’t want to leave her for too...” Gage broke off when the office door slammed open. “Grant, I’ll call you back.”

“Take care of your woman.” Grant said then hung up.

“Stacey, babe are you all right?”

“Oh Gage.” Stacey sighed, rushing to him, and throwing her arms around him.

“Hey, hey. Easy baby. Christ, you’re trembling, and your hands are like ice.”

“I woke up confused. Then...in the kitchen it all came back. The explosion. The smoke...”

Gage sighed and held her a little tighter. “Oh Stacey, babe, I’m sorry. I wanted to be there when you woke up, but Grant called. I’m here babe, just hang on to me now.”

He picked her up and moved to the small two-seater sofa Stacey had by one of the windows and sat down.

He felt her slowly relax in his arms, as he stroked her back and her head rested against his shoulder.

For several long minutes neither said a word.

Gage kissed the top of her head before finally speaking.

Yet, he was still hesitant about asking what he wanted to.

“Stace, earlier today, was that the first time you reacted like that? Frozen I mean.” He questioned softly.

Stacey remained silent for a few moments, then she answered, “Y...yes. I...I’ve never actually been inside a building that was on fire.

It’s funny,” she paused and gave a mirthless chuckle, “I always thought that I would be strong enough to deal with it if I was ever in that situation. Guess I know now.”

Gage shifted and cupped her face, tilting it so she was looking into his eyes.

“Stacey, listen to me. You are no coward. You hear me? What happened yesterday was something new to you. You told me you had witnessed what happened in New York all those years ago but weren’t actually amid that situation.

No one ever knows truly how they will react in a situation if they have never been in it. ”

“But I froze Gage! I...”

“This time yes, but that doesn’t make you a coward of any kind. You hear me? I watched many grown men freeze in the heat of battle for one reason or another. Do you want me to call Grant? Or one of the others?”

“Grant.” She whispered and once more buried her face in the crook of his neck.

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G rant knocked twice before walking into the house as the sky grew darker behind him.

Gage had called him about forty-five minutes ago and quickly explained the situation.

Stacey needed someone to talk to and she had said his name.

Grant knew he and Stacey had a connection that was different than what he had with Krista or Alora.

He didn’t know what exactly happened to Stacey at the federal building earlier that day that caused this, but it was rough for her.

Grant found Gage and Stacey sitting in the living room. Both looked up when he walked into the room. “How are you feeling doll?”

“I’m sorry from pulling you away from...” Stacey began.

Grant walked over and sat on her other side. “Stacey, I’m your friend. Not to mention you are in love with one of my best friends. If you need me, hell, if you need any of the others, you just ask, and we’ll come running.”

Stacey nodded and seemed to relax at his words. “Thank you.”

“Now, Gage told me you needed someone to talk to. My question is before we get into that, do you want him to sit in or do you want this just you and me doll?” Grant asked.

“I want him to stay.” Stacey answered, holding Gage’s hand a little tighter.

“All right then. From what Gage told me when he called, I get the impression that you froze, or think you froze with what happened today at the federal building.”

“I did freeze Grant. Hell, I turned into a blubbering mess. Gage had to carry me from that damned building! I couldn’t even walk!”

“Babe, calm...”

“Fuck that, Gage!” Stacey cried, surging to her feet. She moved around the coffee table and started pacing now. “I was useless today. What if there had been a fight? Huh? I was incapable of even defending myself.”

“And that does not make you a coward or weak Stacey.” Grant interrupted, his tone causing her to stop pacing and look at him.

“Doll, on Halloween I told you about my best friend Sean. When he and I went on our first deployment, we were both so sure we were ready. Hell, that’s what boot camp was supposed to do right?

Train us for combat. A week after Sean and I got to Afghanistan, our camp was attacked.

Sean was up and ready. Me? I was frozen like a bump on a log.

I couldn’t move out of my cot. Sean just grabbed his rifle and charged out of the tent. ”

“You...you froze?” Stacey asked in a mixture of shock and confusion.

“That’s right. Stacey, I’m curious about what made you freeze.” Grant nodded.

Stacey cast a glance at Gage. Gage gave her a look that said it was her call.

“I, I was in New York when the terrorists attacks happened After seeing those buildings on fire and then collapsing, I developed a fear of being in a high-rise building on fire. What happened today was like that fear came to life.”

“Then that explains what happened. If you’re as strong as I believe you are, if you’re ever in that situation again, you won’t freeze up again.

After that first attack in Afghanistan, I didn’t freeze again.

People have fears, and most can’t always explain how or why they’re scared of what they’re scared of.

You at least know why you’re scared of high-rise fires.

” Grant replied as Stacey sat back down between him and Gage.

“I just hate feeling helpless. That’s what I felt today. Helpless.” Stacey sighed.

“Babe, you have to stop kicking yourself over something you couldn’t control. It’s like when I had my panic attack. My body just reacted, and I couldn’t do a damned thing about it. It was just...instinct for my body, in whatever crazy way, to protect itself.” Gage added.

“Gage is right.” Grant nodded. “Human brains are a complicated wonder that no one understands. All you need to know now is that you’re not helpless. You’re not weak. You are a strong, formidable woman and warrior. You hear me?”

Stacey held Gage’s hand and looked into Grant’s handsome face. The weight that had been lodged in her chest since she woke up, was gone now. She felt like she could actually breath again. With her free hand, she reached out and took one of Grant’s.

“I hear you, Grant. I swear I hear you. Thank you. For telling me your story, for helping me stop beating myself up.” Stacey then turned and faced Gage. “You too baby. You’ve been my rock through this and today you became my mountain and my shield. I love you, Gage.”

Gage leaned in and kissed her gently, “You’re welcome and I will always be your mountain and your shield. As long as you’ll have me.”

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