Page 19 of The Flame of Carson (Blackout Security Inc. #3)

“Damn, you were tight.” Gage moaned. Gage eased from the bed while Stacey pulled off her boots and dropped them to the floor. He returned a few moments later with a damp cloth. After cleaning her and himself, he tossed the cloth in the hamper and climbed back into bed. “Stay the night?”

Stacey shifted in his arms and reached up to cup his face. “We both have work in the morning.”

“I know, but I still want you to stay.” Gage said.

“Alright then, I’ll stay.” Stacey smiled.

He leaned down and kissed her. However, the moment was disturbed when both their stomachs decided to make it known they were in need of food. Gage and Stacey started laughing. “Well, should we order takeout and eat in bed?”

“That sounds perfect.” She grinned.

“By the way, happy two-year anniversary.” He spoke.

“You...you remembered?”

“I remembered last year too, but we weren’t together for it, and we were still trying to figure out our relationship. This year, we’re together as a team and it needed to be said. I love you, Stacey.”

“Oh Gage, I love you too. And happy anniversary to you too.”

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G age’s eyes snapped opened. The room was dark, Stacey sound asleep in his arms. So, what had woken him up from a dead sleep?

Carefully, he slid from the bed. Pulling on the sweats he had thrown on after their first round of lovemaking, Gage quietly withdrew the gun in his nightstand and left the bedroom.

His house was silent. Room by room, Gage checked the upstairs before heading downstairs to do the same.

Everything was as it should be, all the windows and doors locked, his alarm still armed.

Still confused as to what woke him, Gage entered the kitchen, flipping on the light and laying his gun on the counter.

He grabbed a glass and filled it with water.

‘What woke me?’ he thought, downing the water. ‘ Am I just getting paranoid because we don’t know who this guy is that’s after Stacey? Because he took a shot at me in my own damned house ?’

Gage was the last of the guys from Blackout to start second guessing himself, but there he stood in his kitchen doing just that. Sighing, he sat the empty glass in the sink and turned to find Stacey standing in the doorway wearing his T-shirt. “You look good in my shirt babe.”

Stacey grinned a little, “Thanks. You alright? I heard you get up.”

“I don’t know. I mean I was dead asleep and for some reason just came wide awake. That’s not normal for me.” He sighed, raking a hand through his hair.

“No, it’s not normal for you.” She agreed with a frown, moving toward where he was now leaning against the counter. “I’m guessing you checked out the house?”

“Yeah, and everything is locked up and in place. The alarm is still set and active. I was thinking maybe I’m getting...”

“Paranoid?” She finished for him.

Gage nodded, “Yeah. I’m the last guy to get paranoid, Stacey. I don’t understand...”

Stacey reached up and cupped his face, “Gage, listen to me. There’s nothing wrong with feeling a little out of sorts. Okay? This asshat came to your house and shot at you. That would leave anybody a bit skittish. It’s only been what? A week?”

Gage wrapped his hands around her slender wrists. “Almost two.”

“Okay, two weeks. There’s nothing wrong with you. Do you hear me? This is your instincts being on high alert. Mine have been the same when I’m home alone after he came after you.”

“But I’m not one of those people Stacey. I don’t second guess myself. Well, unless we’re talking about you and me before you told me you loved me.” He said, grinning a little to lighten the mood.

Stacey giggled. “I do love you Gage and I know you don’t second guess yourself. I don’t think that’s what this is though. It seems more like you’re watching out for danger. Not being paranoid.”

Gage let out a breath and rested his forehead against hers. A sense of calm blanketed him, and his mind cleared. “Yeah. God, now that I think about it, it’s almost like...”

“Like what baby? Talk to me.”

“You know Ethan was injured in Iraq, right?” She nodded. “The day before that mission I felt the same way. Tense. Wound up and I wasn’t even going on the damned mission. I told Ethan to watch himself, that I felt something was off. Just like now.”

“See, that’s the soldier, the fighter in you.” She said.

“It’s been a long time since I felt this. Guess it threw me.” He replied, wrapping his arms around her.

Stacey held him back, her head laying over his heart.

Should she tell him what she was thinking the last week or so?

Should she wait? No, waiting never did anyone any good in these types of situations.

“Gage, when I was talking to Walt today, he said something that I’ve been thinking about too.

What if...what if this guy isn’t someone I know? ”

Gage tensed and mentally sighed, “What are you talking about?”

“Not long after he contacted me here in Austin, I started rethinking the situation. Yes, initially we all thought it was someone I knew or who knew me. What if we were all wrong? What if this is someone who picked me at random?” Stacey elaborated.

Gage felt his blood freeze. Had he not been thinking the same thing since he saw that first email she got here?

That would put a whole new light on things and could also explain why they were having such a tough time driving the bastard to ground.

It also meant he and Stacey were in agreement.

Unsure of what to say, Gage just pulled her back into his arms and held her.

When he got to the office, he would run the idea by Ethan and Tony.

His girl had good instincts and right now he wasn’t about to doubt them. Especially since they matched his own.

“Gage?”

“Yeah?”

She fidgeted a little as she looked up, “That night that Tony stayed over, well I woke up around midnight and stepped outside on the back porch. Tony found me and we talked.”

“Uh-oh, am I going to have to kick his ass?”

She giggled, “No. He asked me something and well since then it’s been on my mind. Yet, I’m kind of nervous asking about it.”

He cupped her face, “Baby, you can ask me anything you want.”

“Alright. Tony and I were talking about how after his first tour with MARSOC he had gone from a heavy sleeper to a light one. Somehow, we got onto the topic of how you guys dealt with what you saw or did. He asked me if I was curious about your time in the Marines.”

“What did you say?”

“That as perverse as it sounds yes. It was because it was the same night, I told you about my three fears. I told myself I was not going to bring this up till after this was over, but tonight...” Stacey paused, licked her lips as she gathered her thoughts.

“Gage, baby, what if what happened tonight is a result of, well, whatever you went through overseas? Like a laden form of PTSD or something.”

Gage turned her words over. Was it possible?

He pulled away from her and moved to one of the barstools and dropped into it.

“I honestly do not know. I never really thought of my time overseas, especially in Iraq, as traumatic. Did I kill people, yes, I did. Does that bother me? I suppose on a human level it would bother anyone taking a life, but I never shot or killed anyone who was not shooting at me. I lost men, hell we all did. It is hard to lose a brother-in-arms, but it happens. I guess the only, traumatic thing that comes to mind was the mission that Ethan got hurt on.”

Stacey walked to his side and slid an arm around his shoulders. “It must have been hard for you guys. I do not know much about that except that Ethan went out without you guys and the team he was in charge of was ambushed.”

“That is right. I went up to Ethan an hour before he was to leave. I told him how I was feeling. A lot like I felt tonight when I woke up. I tried to talk him out of it, to let one of the other guys go or pass the command on to someone else. When we got word about what happened... This enormous guilt hit me. I should have been with my leader. We all should have been there. I was so pissed that I actually went to find the First Lieutenant who had ordered the op. If the guys had not been there, I would have hit the man.”

“What did you do?”

Gage sighed, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I stormed into the command tent. He was sitting at his desk.

He looked up, saw me, and damned if I did not see the fear of God in his eyes.

He had only been in the Corps about a year and was an officer via college.

This was his first command and first deployment.

He knew nothing about what was going on.

No seasoning to him whatsoever. Lance, Grant, and Tony were right behind me when I grabbed him by the lapels and hauled him out of the chair.

“I told him that if Ethan died, he would follow him. Ethan would not even be on a medical transport out of country if he had sent us out with him instead of being an idiot and sending Ethan out with a rookie team. It took Grant, Lance, Tony and two other Marines to get me to let him go. I think the only reason the MPs did not arrest me was because the captain walked in halfway through my speech. As Lance, Tony, and Grant were pushing me out I heard the captain tell the guy that he agreed with me. A month later, that Lieutenant was transferred out of camp.” Gage explained.

“Wow.” Stacey breathed.

“In a big way. Two days after that, we received word that Ethan was alive and heading back state-side. We also found out that we would be following him not much later. Those last few weeks in Iraq were hell for me. Ethan was not just my leader; he was my best friend. Me and the others were sidelined for the remainder of our time there. It was fine with us; we had no desire to go on missions without Ethan.”

Stacey frowned, “And now, I’m in trouble and instead of being out there, you’re sidelined again?”

His head snapped up. Could that be what was wrong with him right now?

He had been unable to be at Ethan’s side in Iraq and Ethan had been injured.

Was his mind and emotions being reminded of that now that he was not fully immersed in Stacey’s case?

Yes, he was part of the team, but Ethan was keeping him on the peripheral.

Unable to speak, he merely reached out and pulled Stacey back into his arms, holding her tight against him.

Without another word and their arms around each other’s waists, they headed back upstairs to bed.

Stacey lay her head over his heart. It was only after she heard and felt Gage’s breathing level back out, did she allow herself to close her own eyes and try to sleep once more.