Page 273 of The First Taste

I snort and keep brushing the horse’s flank. "It’s a life of relative poverty and drudgery, compared with a life of luxury and access. That’s what you’re saying?"

She walks around the palomino, disappearing behind its head. "I am not saying that those are the only two options. I am saying that they are among others. I know that you have always wanted a baby. And you have already said that you are going to have it. But the real question is, how are you going to pay for it? What if you have a kid who likes horses? Or flying planes? Or some other expensive hobby that you can’t afford to pay for?"

My lips turn into a thin line. "I don’t think that’s entirely the point."

"Isn’t it? That’s only one tiny question when there are so many more. How are you going to feed the kid? How are you going to educate your baby when it’s older? I just… I’m not advocating for Dare; really, I’m not. But I am saying that if you want to have this baby, you’ll need to make some radical changes. You will probably need to sit down with your Aunt Minnie and have a tough conversation about money. Maybe think about moving out on your own at some point."

I shudder. "God, I can’t picture my life living on my own."

Olivia pokes her head out from behind the horse, wrinkling her face. "I hate to say it, but Aunt Minnie is bad with money. Quite frankly, she is irresponsible with it. And if you keep living with her, you are going to run into this situation over and over again until she either stops giving away money she doesn’t have or you don't live with her anymore. You know I love her dearly, but it’s true."

I run my hand over Black Beauty’s back, feeling a wave of uncertainty wash over me. I murmur, "And Dare is the solution?"

"He isasolution. Not the only one. Again, I want to emphasize. You don’t have to pick him. But you must have a plan. I am going to back you up, no matter what. But I need to know how to do that."

I take a deep breath as I walk around to Black Beauty's head, looking up into her dark eyes and running my fingers through her long, dark mane. “You’re probably right. But let’s talk about concrete pros and cons."

I hear the latch open and close and turn to see Olivia right behind me, her footsteps quiet as she approaches Black Beauty and pets her muzzle gently. "Okay. So, what are the pros that you could see from accepting Dare’s proposal?"

I can’t help but give a little laugh. "Well, we would get every physical thing that we’ve ever wanted. We would be fed, clothed, and have our pick of schools, all provided for by Dare. Plus, I wouldn’t have to have this awkward conversation with Burn. I’m honestly dreading it."

Olivia takes the brush from my hand and runs it over Black Beauty’s shoulder, humming a little to herself. She pauses. "And the cons?"

"God, where do I start? First, I would have to lie to everyone other than you about who knocked me up. That sounds tawdry, but it’s how I feel. I would probably even have to lie to the baby. Plus, the baby would be raised as a Morgan."

"Is that a bad thing?" Olivia asks.

I pull my jacket around myself and look off into the distance. "The Morgan family isn’t exactly what I would call close-knit. In fact, they are all at each other’s throats the majority of the time. It’s not really the dynamic that I want my kid to be raised around. Also, I personally find Dare repugnant. He'd have some say in how the child is raised. And the last thing I want for my child is for them to grow up to be a spoiled, rich child. Just… No."

"Okay. So, let’s talk about what your plan would be if you decided to tell Burn and not to go with Dare’s plan. Paint a picture for me."

I screw up my face, and Black Beauty nudges me with her nose, looking for attention or perhaps a treat. I bring my attention back to her and pet her neck again as I think about the question. "I’m not sure. I would tell Burn that I am pregnant. And then…"

I can’t figure out what comes next. The idea of planning my life out is overwhelming for me. I have worked for years to get to where I am, though it may not seem like much to some people.

She stands on her tiptoes, looking at me over the horse's back. "Hey, you know that I am on your side, right?"

I blush and brush back a strand of my hair. "I know. Thanks for reminding me. I’m just out of sorts. And…" I purse my lips. "I’m trying to come to terms with the fact that I am growing a whole person inside my body. That part isn’t quite real to me yet."

"Well, at least you know that you have a choice to make. When you have no choices, things are often more desperate and harder than they otherwise would be. At least Dare has a plan. That’s more than anyone else has. Plus, whether you choose to tell Burn you’re pregnant or accept Dare’s proposal, you know that they are exactly your type."

I snort. "My type? How can I have a type? I’ve only ever had sex once."

She walks around the horse’s head, her brows raised. "All the guys you had crushes on as a teenager and all the movie actors that you think are dreamy all look exactly like Burn and Dare. I’m sorry to say it, but you have a physical type that can’t be denied."

"Olivia..." I protest.

She puts up a flat hand, palm out, stopping me from saying anymore. "If it wasn’t true, we would not even be having this conversation. In fact, you wouldn’t be pregnant."

I shoot her a glare and head out of the stall.

"Where are you going?" she asks.

"To watch Gina give her lesson," I announce as I sweep through the barn. Olivia follows me with a sulky look on her face.

Usually, we avoid watching the private lessons that Gina teaches. As long as I’ve known Olivia, her expression has grown sour each and every time that the topic has come up. Part of me thinks that she just resents the fact that neither of our families could ever afford anything so expensive.

Still, I head out to sit on the bench near the white picket fence that shapes the ring. Olivia plops down beside me, warily watching the figures move around the riding area.