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8

CALLIE

"What was that?" I ask. "Can you two tell us what you saw and explain what happened so we can try to figure it out?" I aim the question at both Hank and James. They've both acted oddly within a very short time frame. I'm not a fool. I know something is up.

We've spread out a bit now Hank's calmer, but I'm still in his lap. I reach out a hand to James, offering both of them some comfort while they exchange a long look. I wonder which of them will break first and tell us.

Will leans forward. His expression does nothing to hide his concern for his friends. "Yeah, what made you guys react that way? We couldn't get through to either of you for several minutes, and you were so full of power we couldn't touch you."

Hank sighs and looks at James. "I was transported, sort of. It was a vision, but it was so real I felt like I was there. Mom was there, except she couldn't see me or hear me, no matter what I did." His face blanches as he talks, revealing how much the vision has taken a toll on him.

My heart thumps harder as James nods.

"I also was moved to another place, but I knew it wasn't real at first. The vision took me to my past. The longer it went on, the more real it felt. I relived actual events." His expression contorts as he thinks about it, but it's not filled with pain like Hank's. If I have to guess at an emotion, I'd have to say he's disgusted with himself. I'm guessing whatever it was he saw was something from his past that he'd rather forget.

I wish I could make all the pain go away. Instead, I do the only thing I can and squeeze his hand harder. "Do you want to tell us about it?" I think I know what he's going to say, but I still have to ask.

He purses his lips and shakes his head. "No."

"It was awful." Hank drops his forehead onto my shoulder. "I hope it was fabricated to scare me and not real. If it's real, he's torturing her to get information on our hideout."

"If it was true, at least she's alive," I whisper. It's the only small bit of comfort I can think to give him.

"James, man, you need to let it out." Will clasps James's forearm. "We're not going to hold it against you. We know you're not the man you were back then."

James shakes his head and pulls his arm away from Will. "Don't."

Will jerks back, and anger fills his face. "Why don't you trust us? We've told you time and again we are here for you, and we love you no matter what. You've known us years longer than Callie, but you told her the specifics."

I want to deny that he trusts me more than them. But with this, he has. Though he hasn't given me details like the other two seem to think, not really, he did tell me what he could. I haven't pressed him for more. It feels like the kind of trauma that comes out in time, and pushing him to tell us before he's ready will only end up causing more damage.

"He's right," Hank says. "You need to come clean with us."

James stares at our intertwined fingers and takes a huge, juddering breath. I wish we were in a position where I could defend him and say he doesn't need to tell us any of it. But that's not true. My uncle is clearly using our weaknesses against us. Whether that's James's past or Hank's mom.

"I've told you that I fell in with the wrong crowd..." His words are almost a whisper, but we don't need to strain in order to hear him. Honestly, we could hear a pin drop in the silence of this part of the cave. I'm not sure whether Fran has specifically spelled it or if it's naturally like this, but it doesn't matter. For now, we have privacy, and that's what's important.

"Some of it is because my dad was into this kind of stuff. I thought it would make him approve of me." James lets out a small huff of amusement. "I don't think he even noticed."

I squeeze his hand but don't say anything. I fear that if I do, it will stop whatever truth he's letting out from escaping, and I don't want to scare him. But I do need him to know that I'm here and that I'm listening. His darkness is a thing of his past, though I'm not completely sure he's realized that yet. But one step at a time. Accepting what's happened and what he can't change is a good first step.

"And then a lot of the stuff after that was for self-preservation. If I hadn't done some of it, then I would have been hurt." He rubs his free hand over his face, despair clinging to every word he's saying. "I hurt people. Not because they were threatening someone else. But because they would hurt me if I didn't. And sometimes, I did things because I knew that if I didn't, they'd hurt the person more than I had."

A lone tear rolls down his cheek as he speaks, but he barely even notices. He's too caught up in his words to realize it.

"I hurt people. Maybe even killed them." More words come tumbling out before he pauses, breathing hard.

My heart breaks for the boy he used to be. And the fact that he can't see the truth. He's chosen to be a better man. He isn't the person he's describing, even if he thinks he is.

When he finally looks at us again, his eyes are more vulnerable than I've ever seen them. He fully expects us to hate him, but how could we?

I let go of his hand to cup his cheek while I hope my true feelings are clear in my eyes. "We don't hate you," I whisper. "You aren't to blame."

"Yeah, man, come on. You were young, and in a situation you couldn't extract yourself from. Cut yourself some slack," Hank says.

I nod, appreciating his support.

James looks at us with the first glimmers of hope in his eyes, and I squeeze his cheeks. "We're here for you."

Will gasps, drawing our attention as he covers his mouth. "That smell." His brow furrows and his eyes roll up in his head. James had done the same thing at the beach. I wasn't able to get close enough to Hank to see if he had. Will cries out, and his body goes rigid. Before we can process what's happening, he jumps up and runs from the room, screaming about his mom.

Hank stays on his heels, with James right behind. I manage to stay close enough to keep them in sight as they all disappear out of the entrance to the cave system.

As I exit, I see Will shoot balls of fire behind him. Hank and James barely dodge them. They stop to defend themselves, but Will keeps going.

As I catch up, they stare into the woods where Will disappeared with dismayed expressions on his face. "We can't catch up if he's throwing fire." Hank notices me and puts his arm around me as we look around us in the woods. We can't even hear him now. I cast out a net of magic, but there are so many people in the cave behind us that it throws me off. I'll have to go out of the wards to track him.

"Do we go after him?" I ask.

"I can," James mutters. "If he throws fire, it won't hurt me."

"You're not going alone," I insist, but they both turn on me with that look on their faces. I put my hands on my hips, prepared to argue. They're not going to bully me into staying, damn them.

I’d already seen the hell these visions wracked on Hank and James, and I could only imagine what they’d do to Will. There was no way I was going to let him face them alone.

Even if leaving the wards was not something a future queen should do. Will needed me.