Page 89 of The Fire

Cal and Ash had gotten engaged over Valentine’s Day. Now the pair sported matching platinum rings that caught the light and identical sappy expressions every time they looked at one another, which was approximately every four seconds. When one of them moved, the other moved too in a kind of instinctive harmony that reminded me of me and Jamie, except that with Cal and Ash it wasreal.They’d always been rock-solid and schmoopy as hell—but now they were even solid-er. Like concrete. Or granite. Or something.

“Whass harder than granite?” I demanded.

Cal and Ash stopped eye-fucking each other and turned to me. Cal rolled his eyes, but Ash’s widened with worry. “Parker, maybe that’s enough whiskey,” he suggested. “Maybe I could make you a sandwich? Or I’ve got some leftover chana masala? It’s almost lunch time.”

“Is your leftover chana masala going to make me feel less shitty about the fact that Jameson Burke, who I have loved since I was a teeny, tiny baby, doesn’t love me enough to want me to stay in O’Leary and build a life with him?” I demanded, and the whine in my own voice made me cringe.

I tried to dig deep for some reserve of strength or pride, to put a happy smile on my face, but I came up empty. Iwasn’tfine. I couldn’t pretend this was fine. My dad would be horrified, but I couldn’t make myself care.

I’d let myself fall into the trap offriends with benefits, with Jameson Burke no less, and the whole situation had exploded in my face, as any idiot could have predicted.

Any idiot but me.

I took another gulp of coffee, enjoying the dual burn of the heat and the alcohol.

“Yes,” Cal said, getting to his feet. “Yes, it will make you feel better. Because while Ash heats it up, you’re gonna go take a shower.” He took the coffee mug from my hand and gave it to Ash, who brought it to the sink and dumped it out without a word.

“Hey! I was enjoying that!”

“But it’s hard to drink in the shower,” Cal said reasonably, pulling me out of the chair by my elbow. He grabbed my bag from the sofa, where he’d tossed it earlier, and shoved me toward their bathroom. “And I have things to tell you that you’re gonna need to sober up to really hear.”

I stopped in the hall. “I don’t want to shower. Couldn’t we go key someone’s car?”

From the kitchen, I heard Ash huff out a laugh.

“Key someone’s car,” Cal repeated dryly. “Sure, Parks. Anyone in particular?”

I frowned. “I dunno. Jamie’s probably. Except I really like his truck. I have a key to his truck. Did you know?”

Cal sighed. “Shower, Parker.”

“And I have a key to his house too. He gave me those things. And I thought they meant something.” I sniffed. “But they didn’t.”

“So you said.”

“And I fell in love with him again. But that’s not a shock because I loved him all along, really. And Ineverjust wanted to be friends with benefits.” I grabbed Cal’s hand because it was important that he understand. “Ineverdid. But I did it anyway. For him. Because I love him.” I sniffed. “But it wasn’t good enough.Loveisn’t good enough.”

“Shit, Parker.” Cal shoved my shoulder toward the bathroom. “You do like to create problems for yourself, don’t you, buddy?”

“What? No! That’s thetrouble, Caelan!” I spun to face him, then threw a hand out to catch myself against the bathroom door when the world suddenly tilted too fast. “I didn’t make problems or make waves or makeany fucking thing. I just… I sat. I… was patient.” I leaned against the wall. “I waited for other people to sort their shit so I could sort mine. And I… I don’t wanna wait for shit to be sorted anymore. You get me?Iam going to sortmy ownshit.”

“Oh, I get you,” Cal agreed. He reached behind me to turn the knob and the door gave way beneath my hand, causing me to stumble into the tiny room. “And youaregonna sort your shit. I’m gonna help you.”

“I am going to be a man of action!” I proclaimed, propping my ass against the vanity. “I’m going to make plans, and I’m going todo the plans.”

“Do all the plans. Yup.” Cal moved to turn on the water.

“And no one will stop me.Jamie Burkewill not stop me!”

“Jesus Christ,” Cal muttered under his breath. “How much whiskey did Ash put in that drink?”

“Not enough, so I added more.”

“Of course you did. Okay, get in there. Wash off the Jameson.” Cal snorted to himself. “Best joke I’ll make all year and you’re too drunk to appreciate it.”

“That’s not true,” I said solemnly. “I appreciate you very much, Cal.”

Cal rolled his eyes. “Good. I hope you appreciate it when I explain how this situation is mostly your fault.”