Page 31 of The Earl That Got Away (Sirens in Silk #2)

Chapter Twenty-Four

Before

Philadelphia

I ’ve bought you a ring to match your bracelet,” Basil told Naila the next time they met at the park. “It’s a promise ring. A placeholder until your wedding band is on your finger.” Which couldn’t happen soon enough.

He could not believe how fortunate he was. He and Naila were suited in every way. He relished talking to her. Just being in her company made him deliriously happy. And their last meeting demonstrated that Basil could expect a very passionate marriage. He’d missed her terribly these past few weeks.

She didn’t look well though. Her eyes were swollen and there were dark smudges beneath them. And she did not put out her hand so that he could slip his ring onto her finger. “Are you ill?” he asked. “Come and sit down on a bench.”

She didn’t move. She just stared at the ground unmoving. Not looking at him.

“Naila.” Alarm sparked in the pit of his gut. “What is it?”

“I told you not to love me,” she said. “I told you.”

“As if I had a choice,” he said cheerfully, and yet a gnawing sensation began in his chest.

“I am sorry.” Her voice broke.

He dropped the ring into its small velvet pouch.

“What are you sorry for? Do you regret what happened between us the last time we met?” The words spilled out of him.

A part of him already knew what she was going to say but his brain wouldn’t allow him to even contemplate it.

“You shouldn’t feel badly about anything we’ve done.

You are already the wife of my heart and soon we’ll be wed. ”

“I don’t regret any of it.” Tears filled her eyes. “But we won’t be married.”

His arm dropped to his side, the ring pouch a leaden weight in his hand. “What are you saying?” This wasn’t happening. It couldn’t be. “Whatever it is we can fix it, if we stick together.”

She shook her head. “This is something that can’t be fixed. I cannot do it. I can’t marry you.”

He stared at her in utter disbelief. “Of course you can. We are meant to be together.” Desperation clawed at his chest. “You promised to hold on to me. To us.”

“I wanted to, but I cannot.”

“You could be with child,” he said sharply. “I cannot abandon you to face that alone. We did things that cannot be undone.”

She shook her head. “I am not increasing. I waited... until I could be sure. There is no possibility that I am with child.”

“Have you had your courses?” Normally he wouldn’t discuss something as delicate as a woman’s monthly but this was no time to mince words.

She nodded. “I am sorry,” she said through quiet tears. “Sorrier than I could ever say.”

He stepped back from her. “What are you sorry for?” he asked harshly. “For not loving me enough?”

“No.” She shook her head, tears spilling onto her cheeks. “You know that’s not true.”

“You shouldn’t apologize for not loving someone enough.” Bitterness crept into his tone. “One cannot control one’s feelings.”

“That’s not true,” she protested. “Don’t ever say that I don’t love you enough.”

“Why ever not? It’s the truth isn’t it?”

“I love you with everything in me. But I told you from the start that this”—she gestured between them—“is impossible.”

“If you loved me half as much as I love you, then you would do everything in your power to keep us together.”

“You’re a man. You can do anything you want.”

He gave a bitter laugh. “If only that were true.”

“You will never understand what it is like to be a female.”

“Are you are holding out for a better offer? Is that what this is about?”

“If you believe that then you truly don’t know me at all.”

“Would you like to know what I believe?” he asked, anger accenting each word.

“I think you got carried away the other night when you accepted my proposal. But now that you’ve had time to think about it, you’ve decided your aunt was correct.

That you can do better than tying your future to a man of no discernible fortune. ”

“Stop twisting everything. You are asking me to risk everything. My family, my community. My fa—” she stopped abruptly. “While you risk nothing.”

“If we are speaking plainly, then the truth is that I doubt my family will approve of my marrying an Arab bride from America.”

“But will they disown you? Do you risk losing them as I risk losing my entire extended family?”

“Perhaps not.” His ears were ringing, his vision hazy. “But I would risk everything for you if it came to that.”

“But it won’t. The only one of us who risks losing everything is me.”

“And it’s too much to ask?”

“Yes,” she said sadly, quietly. “I suppose it is.”

“So this is it? You are able to just leave and never see me again?” He couldn’t understand how she could do that. Tearing off his own arm would be less painful than watching her walk out of his life.

“I have no choice.” Her cheeks and nose were red from crying.

“Naila.” He reached for her hand. “What has happened? Please tell me so that I can take care of everything.”

She shook her head, drawing her hand away. “I swore—” Her voice drifted off.

“Swore what?” he asked desperately. “Tell me.”

“I swore to be... loyal to my family,” she said.

“We’ll find a way for you to be loyal to us all. I promise.”

“There is no way.” She finally looked up and met his gaze. “Thank you for giving me the summer of my life.”

He shook his head vehemently. “This cannot be the end.”

“It has to be. I’m sorry. We’re going back to New York.”

“When do you leave?” He bit out the question.

“Auntie says tomorrow.” She paused, tearful. “I hope we can part as friends.”

Disbelief roared through him. “We can never be friends. I can only love you with everything in me or hate you desperately.” He felt like he was being skinned alive. “I will never settle for anything as tepid as being your friend.”

He could not bear to look at her, but he heard the tears in her voice. “I-I hope that isn’t true.”

That afternoon, Hawk booked the first passage home that he could find. Taking over his uncle’s business was out of the question now. America was ruined for him. It was an abyss of misery and disaster, a black hole through which Naila was forever lost to him.

Naila and her aunt’s departure from Philadelphia was delayed for almost a week because Majida came down with influenza and stayed in bed for several days.

Naila spent a great deal of time in bed as well.

She was sick to her stomach and it felt like someone was stabbing her brain with an ice pick.

Her sleep was restless and plagued by jagged dreams, most of them about Basil.

She was beset by doubts. Had she done the right thing in sending Basil away?

Had she tried hard enough to stay true to him?

She couldn’t get Basil’s devastated expression out of her mind.

By the third day since her conversation with Basil, Naila knew she could never be happy without him.

They would break their news to Baba gently, in a way that would not damage his health.

Her father was a loving man who indulged his daughters most of the time.

Without Basil by her side, Naila saw only an endless black hole when she imagined what her life would be like now.

She’d obviously made a mistake. There had to be a way to make both her family and herself happy.

Basil would help her figure it out. He would forgive her for her momentary lapse.

She knew it. He loved her. She rushed to get dressed and slipped out a side door, eager to go to Basil and make things right.

She had no idea where Mr. Linton lived, but Basil had once shown her his uncle’s factory, so she went directly there.

A clerk in the front office regarded her with open curiosity when she asked to see Basil’s uncle.

The clerk went to get Mr. Linton from the factory floor.

“My dear Miss Darwish,” the older man said when he appeared and showed her to a back office. “What can I do for you?”

Everything about Naila’s appearing alone at the factory and asking for this man’s bachelor nephew was scandalous. But she didn’t care. She had to see Basil and wouldn’t rest until she reassured him of her commitment and they settled matters.

“My nephew?” Mr. Linton said kindly when she asked about Basil. “I am afraid you have just missed him. He has gone home.”

Basil had just been there? She had to follow him. “I am sorry,” Naila said, “but I don’t know where you live.”

Mr. Linton frowned but then his expression cleared. “No, no, my dear girl. Basil isn’t at my residence. He has gone home to England.”

Her jaw dropped. “No, that’s impossible.” She shook her head against the possibility that she’d lost her chance at happiness. “He’s not supposed to leave for several weeks.”

“I was terribly disappointed when he changed his plans. He left two days ago. He is well on his way.”

Two days ago. Basil left America one day after she broke his heart.

And now he was gone. She had to get to him.

But how? England might as well be in another world.

There was no way to contact him directly.

She’d have to send a letter through his uncle.

But that was scandalous. For all she knew, Mr. Linton’s sense of honor might compel him to return her letter to her aunt rather than facilitate a clandestine correspondence between an unmarried girl and a bachelor.

The situation between Naila and Basil was no longer fixable. Devastation drummed in her stomach. She’d made a disaster of things. There was no way to make it better.

Naila was condemned to live the remainder of her life knowing that she’d single-handedly destroyed her one chance at true happiness.