Page 11 of The Earl That Got Away (Sirens in Silk #2)

Chapter Nine

Now

England

A t supper that evening, the conversation veered, as it did so often these days, toward matters of love and marriage.

“I think men have many more opportunities to find a suitable companion. You are all allowed to travel as extensively as you choose,” Raya observed. “But unwed young ladies are expected to keep to home and hearth. We must wait to be chosen.”

“You did not wait,” her duke said from the opposite end of the long table. “You came all the way across an ocean to run me to ground.”

“I hardly came for you ,” she returned. “I traveled to England to visit my late cousin and stayed on to manage the castle I inherited.”

“Some would say you also managed the duke quite nicely,” Guy put in.

“I am not averse to being managed by my future duchess.” Strickland raised his wineglass in his betrothed’s direction. “In fact, I welcome it.”

“You do know that it is unfashionable to be besotted with your wife?” Guy teased them both.

The duke shrugged. “We are doomed to be frightfully unfashionable.”

To Naila’s surprise, Raya blushed becomingly.

This altered version of her sister took some getting used to.

Raya normally hid her emotions but when it came to her feelings about the duke, she didn’t bother.

She managed to seamlessly blend her love of enterprise with her very clear devotion to Strickland.

Naila, who was seated next to Guy, wrinkled her brow. “That makes no sense at all. If you are to be married, you should have high regard for each other.”

“I do not make the rules,” Guy said. “I merely live by them.”

“But you are not wed yet,” Strick returned.

“True enough,” Guy allowed.

Nibbling on nuts, Naila’s gaze drifted down to where Hawk sat near the duke, with an obviously delighted Hind at his side. She could not hear their conversation but they seemed very engaged with each other, speaking quietly together during the early courses.

Auntie Majida sat on the duke’s other side, a position of honor. Strickland obviously knew how to win over her ornery aunt. Hawk had never had the chance to do the same. In Philadelphia, Auntie Majida steadfastly refused to speak to him about a possible match between him and Naila.

Hawk entered the conversation. “I respectfully disagree with Miss Darwish’s supposition that gentlemen hold all of the power when it comes to making a match.”

“ You certainly do,” Guy shot back. “You’re an earl with vast holdings. No woman in her right mind would turn you down.”

Naila pretended to study her white fish as she flaked the tender flesh with her fork.

Anything to avoid seeing Hawk’s reaction.

Her insides were in turmoil. Grief, regret and longing intermingled, all fused to her bones since leaving the dream of them behind.

And being around an indifferent Hawk made it all the worse.

“A man does not want to be desired for his title and fortune,” Hawk said. “He wants to be valued for his character. For his potential.”

“How much potential does an earl need?” Frances asked. “Some would say acquiring a title is potential fulfilled.”

Raya studied Hawk. “Why do you think men do not hold all the power when it comes to relations between men and women?” she asked with obvious curiosity.

“It is true that the gentleman has the great advantage of doing the choosing. But what if the young lady of his choosing rejects him?” Hawk asked.

Naila pretended to look his way. It would be the height of rudeness not to when Hawk addressed the table.

But she kept her gaze focused on the silver tea set on the sideboard visible just beyond Hawk’s shoulder, rather than on his face.

“Then the gentleman has given away his heart only to have it stomped upon.”

He hadn’t glanced in Naila’s direction for the entire evening.

And did not do so now. He acted as though she didn’t exist. Up until this moment, Naila had felt guilty about rejecting Hawk.

But now anger kindled in her chest. How dare he behave so callously?

She might deserve his antipathy but not his cold dismissal.

He treated her like she was lower than the dirt on the bottom of his boot.

“A young lady does not always have the final say when it comes to choosing a husband.” She fixed her gaze on Hawk. “It is her family, or her guardian, who makes the final choice.”

Now Hawk did give her his full attention, his icy eyes boring into her. “Not if the woman is constant enough.”

She held his gaze. “That is easy for a man to say. Young girls are not as free as you are.”

Raya looked thoughtful. “I suppose that is the advantage of seeking a wife who knows her own mind.”

“Indeed.” Hawk held Naila’s gaze for another interminable moment before blinking his attention away from her.

The conversation stalled momentarily while the footmen served the main course, a variety of beef and chicken dishes. As Naila replayed her brief exchange with Hawk, something new sprouted within her. An awareness that had been growing in her since Hawk walked back into her life.

It was an urge to defend that young girl who’d made the mistake of her life. And sorrow for all she’d suffered. Naila had flailed herself over Hawk for eight years. And for what? To be ignored by him? To endure his barely disguised contempt?

He’d obviously relegated Naila to the past. Shouldn’t she do the same?

She’d never been able to put Hawk behind her.

Even in his absence, he’d been there, dominating her thoughts.

Not a day went by when she didn’t regret her choice.

But this evening, as she watched Hawk converse with Hind, his decisive profile partially obscured by the gleaming of the candles lining the mahogany table, it dawned on her that Hawk was neither her present nor her future.

How could she expect to find any happiness or satisfaction in her life until she moved on?

She could not allow one regrettable decision to define the rest of her life.

But after years of flagellating herself, she had no idea how to move forward.

The only thing she could think of in that moment was to immerse herself in one of her favorite subjects.

She turned to Guy. “So, Mr. Vaughan, you mentioned that your home is quite old. Will you tell me about it?”

Guy appeared delighted to be asked. “It is called the Grange. It was built about one hundred years ago.”

“Do tell me more about its design,” she encouraged with a smile.

Hawk couldn’t help noticing how raptly Naila listened to whatever Guy was babbling about. The other exchanges at the table made it impossible to hear their conversation, but Naila’s eyes glowed with interest.

When had those two become so well acquainted?

Something twinged in Hawk’s chest when Naila smiled at Guy during their animated exchange.

It was as if they were in their own world.

The rest of the people at the table might as well not exist. Hawk’s hand unwittingly curled into a fist. Maybe they should just get a room.

“Is something wrong, my lord?” Hind’s voice broke into his thoughts.

“Not at all.” Hawk forced himself to relax his fist, and to otherwise appear at ease. “What could be wrong when I am in the company of the most delightful dinner companion?”

Her cheeks colored. “You are very kind to say so,” she said demurely.

He wasn’t. Not really. Mostly Hawk just played the part of a noble gentleman.

He sometimes marveled at the extent to which pretense and obfuscation defined his life.

He rarely said what he truly thought. Ambiguity was a useful barrier.

A coat of protection. The polar opposite of Philadelphia, when it had never occurred to him to dissemble.

Back then, he’d been clear and direct about what he wanted, throwing himself into his campaign to make Naila his wife.

He hadn’t been able to imagine a future without her at the center of it.

After the debacle with Naila, he had erected scaffolding around his heart to protect him from the inconvenience of deeply held emotions. When he finally took a wife, it would be a practical decision. Hawk would lead with his head. Involving his heart was the way of disaster.

He’d never survive another Philadelphia.

“Is your home very far away from here?” Hind asked.

“Not so very. It’s about a day’s ride.” He told her about Briar Hall, his nearest residence.

There were several other houses that he didn’t mention.

He’d inherited them along with the title, but they didn’t belong to him.

As the current titleholder, Hawk was merely the caretaker.

His job was to preserve the earldom and its assets for the next generation.

One day he’d have to do what was necessary to secure the succession, which meant taking a wife and producing an heir.

He surreptitiously studied Naila’s cousin.

Although she was merry and charming, he had no interest in her as a potential wife.

She was far too young for his tastes and, more importantly, she deserved better than a cold husband who would never love her.

Besides, the last thing he needed was another connection to Naila.

He couldn’t fathom running into her at future family functions.

It was bad enough that his dearest friend was marrying her sister.

Thank goodness it wouldn’t be long before Naila returned to America.

He couldn’t relax until there was an ocean between them again.

“Given how much you enjoy nature walks, I think you would delight in Briar Hall,” he said to the cousin. “We have a varied landscape with much for an admirer of the natural world to appreciate.”

“Do you?” she said. “I would love to see more . . . trees and . . . um . . . flowers.”

The sound of laughter drew his attention. Naila was clearly amused by something Guy had said.

Hind followed his gaze. “I’m so pleased to see Naila enjoying herself. She rarely allows herself to laugh and have fun.”

“Why is that?” he asked.

She shrugged. “I cannot say. But sometimes, when we are in private, she can be wickedly amusing.”

He knew that far too well. “I am surprised she hasn’t married,” he remarked, even though Naila’s name shouldn’t cross his lips. “Miss Darwish was quite popular when she visited Philadelphia.”

Hawk could still picture her in the garden smoking a cigarette, flashing that irrepressible smile. And then later, when she allowed certain intimacies. He could still taste her lips and feel the dewy silkiness of her most private areas.

“She is still very well liked,” Hind assured him. “No one is more sensible.”

“Sensible?” That was the last word he’d use to describe the Naila he used to know. She was adventurous, passionate and fearless. At least she had been until the end, when everything changed.

Perhaps he’d never really known her at all.

“Everyone in the family values her advice, judgment and reasoning,” Hind said.

As he contemplated this foreign description of Naila, the scowling aunt addressed him from across the table. “How come you be an earl?”

Hawk didn’t know how he’d ended up sitting across from the crone. He mostly blamed Naila for their breakup but the old crow came in close second. She’d manipulated a young girl, cheating both Hawk and Naila out of a future together.

“I inherited from my father’s cousin,” he responded, each word glazed with arctic courtesy.

She regarded him with sharp, beady eyes. “He have no sons?” she asked in her heavily accented English.

“His three sons perished in a carriage accident.”

“This no being good.” She wagged her index finger. “Bad to be putting all the sons in one carriage. Should be two in each carriage. If one carriage crash, the other ones they being living still.”

Hawk didn’t know how to respond to that. I’m sure my cousin is sorry now would hardly be an appropriate rejoinder. Thankfully, the duke interjected.

“Very wise, Aunt Majida,” Strick said approvingly. “It would never occur to me to split my family up like that.”

Relieved to be spared further conversation with the old lady, Hawk returned his attention to Hind, trading light conversation through the final courses.

“You actually seem to enjoy the old termagant’s company,” he said to the duke after supper.

“I am quite fond of her,” Strick admitted. “I also fear her. Being on Auntie Majida’s bad side would be most unpleasant.”

“As I well know,” Hawk murmured. Not that the old woman ever gave him a chance to win her approval. His financial status at the time was reason enough for her to completely disregard him. And to convince her niece to do the same.

Strick’s attention centered on Guy and Naila. “Those two seem to be getting along well.” Guy remained by Naila’s side after supper. At the moment, he was using his hands to describe something while Naila listened attentively.

Raya came up and took her betrothed’s arm. “We should encourage the match.” She wore a deep green silk gown that enhanced her complexion. Naila had also always looked very well in green. “I would love to have my sister just a quick carriage-ride away.”

Strick darted a look at Hawk. “I doubt they’d be suited.”

“Why do you say that?” Raya asked. “Look how engaged they are with each other. What do you say, Hawk? You are close to Guy and you knew Naila in Philadelphia. Do you think she and Guy would make a good match?”

“I am quite literally the last person you should ask about such matters,” he answered. “I’ve no idea what makes a suitable match.”

“You and Hind seem to enjoy each other’s company,” Raya noted.

“She is most amiable,” he said vaguely. He could barely recall what they’d talked about at supper. The girl was a useful diversion but he had no intention of courting her.

“Oh, she truly is,” Raya enthused. “We all adore Hind. She is like a little sister to us.”

The duke shook his head. “Don’t you think you should stop your matchmaking schemes and focus on the match you’ve made?”

She smiled up at him. “I can think about you and other things at the same time.”

“I cannot,” the duke said. “All I can think of is making you my wife.”

She squeezed his arm. “It won’t be long now. The wedding is only four days away.”

His eyes smoldered at her. “I cannot wait.”

Hawk was truly happy for Strick and Raya. But their happiness reminded him of all he’d lost. And he was already annoyed at the way Naila was hanging on to Guy’s every word.

“If you’ll excuse me,” he said. “I think I’ll retire for the evening.”

As Hawk made his way to the nearest exit, he brushed past Guy, who took a step back, unknowingly moving into Hawk’s path. The two men collided.

“My apologies,” Guy said, obviously surprised by how hard Hawk bumped him. “I am sorry.”

“As you should be,” Hawk growled as he kept walking. “Do stay in your lane.”