Page 30 of The Earl That Got Away (Sirens in Silk #2)

Feeling giddy, Naila laughed and flopped back on the bed. “I think you are getting ahead of yourself.”

“Am I? Strick mentioned that Hawk said something about making things right.”

“Did he?” She didn’t dare get her hopes up. “I think it’s too early to assume Hawk is ready to propose.”

“Do you want to marry him?”

Naila took a deep breath and finally admitted, out loud, what she’d dreamed of for eight long years. “I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything more.”

Hawk sent Naila a note the following day asking for a moment alone. Excitement bubbled up in her. He was going to propose. She just knew it. Why else would he ask to see her alone?

Obviously, the kiss yesterday had brought it all back. Now neither of them could deny that the pull between them still shone as brightly, and maybe even more intensely, than ever. Time had deepened their feelings, rather than diminishing them.

She took care with her appearance, wearing her thick wavy hair in a half-up style she felt Hawk would appreciate. She selected one of her favorite vibrant dresses, a sparkling emerald-green silk.

Anticipation fluttering through her veins, Naila smiled at her reflection in the mirror.

She finally looked like herself again, her eyes bright and shiny, her lips twisted into an expectant smile.

The old Naila was back. She was ready to take charge of her life and that meant saying a resounding yes when Hawk came to reclaim her.

After eight years, they were finally going to get it right.

It was almost time for Hawk to arrive, so Naila rushed downstairs to be ready to receive him.

He made his appearance exactly on time. Like her, he was dressed for the occasion in a handsome mazarine-blue tailcoat over a snowy shirt with a high winged color.

His trousers were a gray pinstripe. She almost sighed at how handsome he looked.

And how lucky she was that he was finally going to be hers.

Hawk glanced over at her and she swore she saw appreciation there before he averted his eyes. She smiled to herself as he followed her into the back garden where they could speak in private. She’d waited years to have this conversation and wanted no distractions or interruptions.

Naila plucked a gorgeous velvety flower off a bush. Everything was especially beautiful this afternoon. She brought the flower up to her nose and inhaled deeply, savoring its natural perfume. “This feels as if we’re coming full circle.”

“Does it?” he said stiffly. He kept his distance from her. Strange. Maybe he was nervous? “How so?”

“We first met in a garden. Surely you haven’t forgotten,” she teased. “I don’t suppose you happen to have cigarettes with you?”

He didn’t smile. Instead, Hawk cleared his throat. “Thank you for taking the time to see me.”

Naila’s pulse spiked. This was it. He was going to declare himself. She sank on a bench and resettled her skirts to present a pleasing picture. This time, she would accept him as she should have done so many years ago. “Of course. Why would I not?”

He cleared his throat. “It is very important that we speak as openly as possible to settle certain matters between us.”

His tone was so cool, so impervious. Disappointment tightened between her shoulder blades. Where was the old Basil, the man she knew intimately, who spoke easily from his heart?

He was such a remote presence at the moment. Still, she had to be right about their future. After yesterday’s encounter, there was no denying what that their future held. Hawk was her naseeb , the man destiny intended for her.

She was determined to remind him. “Certain matters?” she said with a coy smile. “Is that what you call our kiss yesterday?”

“Yes, in a manner a speaking. I wish to apologize.”

Her brows lowered. “Apologize?”

“Indeed.” He stood soldier straight with his hands clasped behind his back. “I took grievous advantage of you yesterday.”

Naila scoffed. “We both know that is not true.” He said nothing, merely continued to stand there, so she added, “We are both adults and we were both willing. More than willing.”

“I am relieved that you feel that way.” His manner remained stilted. “We can agree, I hope, that neither of us should feel forced into a situation that neither of us wants.”

“Absolutely,” she said hesitantly. Where was he going with this?

“I think it’s fair to say we both lost our heads yesterday. A temporary lapse in judgment.”

Naila blinked. “A lapse in judgment,” she repeated dully.

“Precisely. One that will not happen again.”

She cocked her head. “ That’s what you came here to say?”

“Yes, of course. What were you expecting?”

She felt lightheaded. Not only was Hawk not proposing, he clearly never had any intention to do so. His words from the alcove reverberated in her mind.

I don’t have peace. Do you have peace?

None of this made sense. The way he’d touched her, kissed her. She’d felt how much he’d missed her. How much he wanted her. And now he was claiming it was all just a lapse in judgment?

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Yesterday, when you kissed me, can you honestly say that you felt nothing?”

His expression remained unchanged. “You’re a desirable woman. It is obvious there is a physical attraction between us.”

“It was more than that,” she insisted. “We have an emotional connection.” An unbreakable bond.

“Once, perhaps. But we were young and that was a long time ago.”

Her jaw fell open. “And you have no feelings left for me at all?”

“We are friends, I suppose.”

Friends.

Now he was outright insulting her. “You suppose?” She leapt to her feet. “You’re lying. You’re trying to hurt me because of the way I abandoned you in Philadelphia. You still haven’t forgiven me.”

“I don’t believe you have ever asked for my forgiveness,” he said. “And even though some things might be forgivable, they are still impossible to get past.”

“You are determined to continue my punishment,” she said bitterly. “Even though I was a frightened young girl who knew nothing of the world and faced losing my family, my community and practically everything I held dear.”

A muscle ticked in his jaw. “You would have gained me . And my unwavering love and devotion until the end of our days. But that wasn’t enough.”

She blinked back tears. “That wasn’t it at all.” She almost told him that she’d changed her mind and gone looking for him only to find he’d already sailed for England. But would he even believe her?

“What did you expect when I came here today? A proposal?” His lip curled. “So, I was not good enough for you when I was a man of no position or title. But now that I am an earl, you want to marry me?”

She stiffened. “How dare you accuse me of being some sort of greedy fortune hunter!” she snapped. “My feelings for you have nothing to do with your stupid title or bank account.”

He took a deep fortifying breath. “I did not come to upset you. I am here to rectify any misunderstandings between us after yesterday’s unfortunate events.”

Misunderstandings.

She sucked in a breath. The pain ripping through her body was so intense she had to resist the urge to double over. “I see.”

And she did. He’d come this afternoon not to propose but to hurt her. To remind Naila that she was beneath his notice. His intention was to humiliate her.

She pulled her shoulders back. “I wouldn’t want to be your countess anyway.”

“Excellent. Then there is nothing further to discuss,” he said. “We will put yesterday’s regrettable lapse behind us.”

“Yes, we will.” She stared at him, wishing the agony in her chest would end.

What a fool she was to imagine that he might still love her.

A man who truly cared about a woman would never speak to her this way.

He obviously had waited eight long years for the opportunity to wound her as deeply as she’d hurt him.

“Kareem is waiting for me,” she lied. Lifting her chin, she pretended not to care even though it was all she could do not to collapse into a sobbing heap. “I have work to do on my pamphlet. You and I have wasted enough of each other’s time.”

“By all means,” he said tightly. “Go back to your architect friend.” He gave her a quick stiff bow. “Good day, Miss Darwish.

“My lord,” she said curtly.

“Well?” Raya said expectantly the minute Hawk reentered the house through the large French doors. She and Strick were seated in the formal salon obviously waiting for happy news.

Hawk suppressed a groan. He should have left via the garden and escaped through the alley.

He had accomplished what needed to be done.

In the process, he hurt Naila, which he regretted.

But they were both better off now that everything was clear.

They could go on with their lives, which for Hawk meant finding a suitable wife.

He would use his head this time, not his heart.

Allowing emotions to rule his decision was the way to ruination.

As for Naila, she already had the architect lined up.

Jealousy curled in his stomach at the thought of Naila with another man.

He pushed it aside. It was long past time to move on.

When they were together, he and Naila catapulted each other’s lives into a tailspin. That was no way to live.

“Good day,” Hawk said.

“Good day?” Raya repeated. “Good day as in you’re leaving?”

Curiosity lit Strick’s eyes. “Have you and Miss Darwish come to an agreement?”

“Yes, we have,” Hawk ground out. “We have agreed that we do not suit.”

“Impossible,” Raya exclaimed.

The duke’s dark golden brows drew together. “Surely there’s been a mistake.”

“No mistake,” Naila said as she came in behind Hawk. He avoided looking at her. “We have agreed that we do not suit. And never will.”

“Agreed,” he said.

The duchess looked crestfallen. “But I thought you two would suit beautifully.”

“You were wrong,” Naila told her.

Now that it was truly over with Naila, Hawk needed to be away from her. “Good day,” he said again, marching for the door.

He strode through to the hallway, where a footman opened the door. As he trotted down the stairs to the street level, Strick called out to him.

“Hawk. Wait.”

Hawk kept walking. He wanted nothing more than to put this afternoon behind him. Strick caught up. “What happened back there? You asked her to marry you and she said no?”

“She made it clear that she would not accept my proposal. She doesn’t want to be a countess.”

“But you did offer?”

“No, I did not.”

A thunderous look came over the duke’s face. He put a heavy hand on Hawk’s shoulder, forcing him to stop. “Honor dictates that you make the offer.”

Hawk halted and faced his friend. “There is much you do not know.”

“I know enough.”

“No,” he bit out. “You do not. If you did, you would understand that honor does not compel me to offer for Naila.”

Strick looked dumfounded. “What the devil are you saying?”

“Honor does compel me to say no more.”

“Are you insulting the lady’s virtue?” Strick asked, a warning in his voice.

“I am telling you that this is over.” Hawk gritted his teeth. “Let it go.”

He walked away. This time, Strick did not follow.