Page 21 of The Dysfunctional Family's Guide to Murder

Dad keeps going once she’s left, because of course he does.

“What do you think, Vinx: police or no police?” he asks while Aunty Bec is probably still clicking in her seat belt.

Aunty Vinka makes ayuckface. “Should we call the police on Shippy, you mean?”

“Notonhim, exactly. Just…about him.”

“Oh, in that case I’m sure Bec won’t care. Just explain it thatway.”

“Shut up.”

“Anyway, that’s not the real question.”

“It’s not?”

“The real question iswhywould Shippy kill Gertie? He might have some, uh, problematic views on immigration, and the less said about his aura the better, but he doesn’t strike me as a psychopath.”

“Money,” Dad says. “Bec will inherit one-third of the estate.”

“Money, though.” Aunty Vinka shakes her head. “It’s justmoney,isn’t it?”

“Vinx, that’s almost as dumb as the time you claimed not to know what Facebook was. This property has got to be worth a couple of million.”

Aunty Vinka just frowns at that and goes back to her crocheting. “Although,” she says, almost as an afterthought, “he only inherits if he stays with Bec, right? So why would he disappear?”

She’s got a point.

“Maybe Shippy has a secret.” I don’t realize I’ve said this out loud until the others go quiet.

“Ruthie?” Aunty Vinka’s head jerks like she’s forgotten I’m sittingright here,not hiding, exactly, just…turning the pages of my book very, very quietly. “Honey, this isn’t really a conversation for kids. Do you and Dylan want to go for a walk or something?”

“You let me watchTalk to Mewhen you were babysitting,” I remind her—a little disloyally, since that was supposed to beour secret. “Do you really think this conversation is more traumatic than that?”

“It’s so important to support Australian cinema,” she says, avoiding Dad’s eyes. “But, Andy, maybe we should stop talking about this in front of the kids.”

“Hold on, Vinka, I think I heard Ruthie say something about Shippy’s dark secret.” There’s a smile licking at Dad’s lips.

“I didn’t saydark secret.”

“What do you think Shippy’s not-so-dark secret is, then? Tell us about his beige mystery?”

Even Dylan is looking at me now, and I can feel all the blood in my body trying to force its way out through my cheeks.

“I don’t know what it is, but maybe GG was going to expose it.” Dad and Aunty Vinka exchange a look, and for a moment I think they’re going to send me up to my room, but Dad grins at his sister, and while I can see her teetering, she just shakes her head and doesn’t tell me to go away. Adults are more fickle than the face recognition on my phone. I keep talking, fast as I can without being weird about it. “Maybe it’s a secret he couldn’t risk being exposed.”

“What kind of secret?”

“Something that would make Aunty Bec dump him so he’d miss out on the inheritance. He’s, uh, secretly married.”

“I don’t know if that’s a turnoff for her,” Aunty Vinka murmurs.

“He’s got three secret kids.”

“Getting warmer!” Aunty Vinka says, and has she been…drinking?

“What happens next?” Dad asks, encouraging me.

I sit up straighter in my chair and put my book down, enjoying the attention but also aware that the timer has started on how long I can get away with this. “GG pulls some ‘you tell her or I will’ stuff—classic mistake. Shippy freaks out and hits her over the head with, uh, an old typewriter for some reason. Then he sets up the ladder and smashes the window to make it look like a break-in.”