Page 3 of The Dragon Queen (Ember: Queen Of Dragons #6)

Ihave got to stop doing this," I groan beneath my breath. Half sitting up, I scrub the sleep from my eyes.

This whole 'crashing hard after wildly overexerting myself and then waking up someplace weird, with no idea how much time has passed' thing is getting old.

Fuzzy memories float back to me. After Rook and I finished evacuating the residents of Unity, Malik and the rest of my mates escorted my exhausted husk of a corpse through the old Water Dragon castle, to a room in a high tower with a big, soft, fluffy bed. Over my slurred protests, they tucked me in, pressing soft kisses to my lips and brow. Between one blink and the next, I was out.

It was evening then--I think. But there's no light shining in through the gaps in the curtains. My stomach dips at the thought that I slept through an entire day. What happened while I was out? Are we safe?

Before anxiety can get the best of me, a wave of reassurance passes over me. The bed shifts, and I turn.

All four of my mates are asleep around me.

My heart squeezes, but in a good way. Jianyu, Rafe, Malik and Storm share a fragile alliance, based almost entirely on their love for me and their general inclinations toward overprotectiveness. Their trust for each other is tenuous at best.

And yet here they all are. Vulnerable in sleep, splayed out in various positions, their long, muscular limbs even touching in places.

My insides pulse with a wave of liquid warmth, and I swallow hard. None of my men are fully naked; even Rafe is wearing sleek, black boxer briefs, though they leave little to the imagination. But the tangle of arms and legs and the flashes of skin still heat the very core of me.

I could wake them up with my hands and lips. With everything that's happened, we've had so little time to just be together.

A twitchy restlessness at the back of my mind pulls me up short.

Despite the soothing aura of my mates' presence, I can't quite dismiss the worries ricocheting around my head. Malik promised that we would be safe, here in the deserted city that the Water Dragons abandoned so long ago. It's all but been forgotten by time, preserved and obscured by powerful magic.

Nothing about my situation feels safe, though.

To be clear--I'm not doubting Malik's assessment of the old Water Kingdom capital.

I'm doubting myself.

Hunching over my knees, I cradle my naked wrist to my chest. The skin is achingly tender, the loss of the bracer seeping all the way into my bones. I still feel as if a part of my very soul has been severed. There's dead space where magic used to shimmer, my awareness of the energy in the room and in the air and in the stone beneath my feet just...gone.

With Rhiannon's locket all but depleted now, too, I've been left shattered and empty.

My eyes sting, a single tear escaping down my cheek, and a hollow, hiccupping noise leaks past my throat.

At the sound, Storm shifts, and Jianyu turns over, his beautiful brow creasing in his sleep. None of my mates wake, though, and I press my knuckle to my mouth, willing myself to be silent.

They need their rest; the gods alone know what they've been through while I've been dead to the world for the last day. I glance at Malik, who's jaw is tight, his eyes twitching behind their lids. Guilt tugs at my insides. He's certainly had his hands full, preparing this abandoned city for hundreds of temporary guests.

I can't wake them for sex, and I refuse to wake them with my grief--but I can't keep my anxious, mournful energy contained.

I need to think.

Maybe more than that, I need to connect with myself. Feel out the blunt, broken edges of my magic and see if the branches are as decimated as they feel.

Moving as quickly and quietly as I can, I shift down the bed. Rafe flops a hand in my direction, brushing his fingertips over my leg, but it's a reflex. He doesn't stop me as I gently extricate myself.

The carpet is thick beneath my feet. I glance around through the darkness, making out what's clearly a tastefully if lavishly decorated bedroom. While the air is a little stagnant, despite the preservation spell, Malik's scent lingers.

I long to take it all in--to explore this artifact of who my mate was, before the war. And I will, I remind myself. Later.

I'm still dressed in the same clothes I was wearing yesterday, but I don't dare take the time to change or wash up. Instead, I make a beeline for the door. I close it carefully behind me, stepping out into a silent, dimly lit hall.

"'Night, miss," someone says, and I just about jump out of my skin. I turn to find a woman sitting a few feet down the hall, a book in her hands, and a contrite expression on her face. "Sorry. Didn't mean to startle you."

"It's okay." I put a hand to my chest.

The woman is familiar--a member of Freya's team from Unity, I'm sure. She tips her head toward the room where the rest of my mates are sleeping. "Just keeping a lookout," she assures me.

"Makes sense." I glance around. "I just--need some air."

She nods and closes her book around her finger. With her other hand, she gestures down the hall, behind me. "There's a stairway leading up to the roof or down to the gardens over there."

Real gratitude floods my chest. "Thank you."

Smiling, she returns to her book, but she's clearly aware of her surroundings, and I rest safe in the knowledge that someone is watching over my mates.

With that, I follow the corridor in the direction she pointed. When I hit the stairs, I hesitate. The promise of the cool breeze out on the roof is tempting, but I shudder at the memory of standing atop the tower of the Shadow King's Citadel, cornered and terrified.

And then plummeting down into the icy waters below.

Yeah--I think I'll stick with the gardens for now.

I pick my way down a spiraling flight of white, marble steps. Another of Freya's guards stands sentry at the door, and I nod at her before spilling out into the night.

It's cool outside, but comfortably so. The air carries a familiar scent of green, living things and flowers, and I breathe it in with relish. Above, the moon is nearly full, and it casts the whole place in a soft, silvery glow.

My stomach dips, and I hug my arms around myself.

Even the beauty of a moonlit night is tarnished, right now. Rook said that King Erembour would carry out his plan on the Dragon Moon--barely more than a month from now. He'll wed Aria and beget his demon spawn heir. He'll use powerful, dark magic to steal the power of every other dragon on this earth.

I rub my wrist again and swallow a dim ghost of a laugh.

The one upshot of the Shadow Bracer shattering is that at least Erembour can't get his hands on it now. That won't stop him, but maybe it'll slow him down a bit.

Not nearly as much as it'll slow me, though.

The pain of the loss hits me again, my ribs tightening. Despite the fresh air, I can't seem to get a deep breath in.

I turn, my gaze darting everywhere. A white, stone path leads forward, away from the castle and into lush greenery. I follow it all but blindly, not sure where the hell I'm going, but only that I have to go.

I stumble on for I don't even know how long. Beautiful flowers and towering walls of green leaves line the path, but I can't really take them in. A tug somewhere in my gasping chest pulls me forward, and for a moment, it reminds me of the draw I always felt, back when I was living in the Air Kingdom. The one that led me south, and eventually to Unity, to the bracer, to my mates and to my destiny.

I want to laugh--or maybe cry.

Was it just a day--and one epically long nap--ago that everything seemed so written? My life had been decided, and I'd embraced it all.

Now I feel lost. And not just because I've been running around barefoot in a forgotten garden in an abandoned kingdom.

The pressure on my lungs finally begins to ease, and I slow my pace. I look around, the darkness and the stillness and the silence seeping into me. Floral scents perfume the air, and I breathe in more deeply now. Above me, the stars are out, beautiful and shining.

And still, there's a tug.

I follow it with more careful steps now. I glance back over my shoulder, confirming that I'm wandering farther from the castle, but it's all right. Now that I have my bearings, I'm pretty sure I can find my way back--and even if I can't, come dawn, someone will come looking for me. Of that much, I'm sure.

As lost as I feel, my connection to my mates remains secure and strong, glowing with life. They're still resting, the tethers tying me to them loose and relaxed.

Grounded by those shimmering bonds, I continue on, until finally the path leads me to a gleaming, vine-covered gate. At least from the inside, it's unlocked, and I pass through it, only to find myself on the edge of a cliff.

And there's that edge of maniacal laughter, lodging itself in my throat again.

Great job, me, deciding not to head out to the roof of the castle. This is obviously much, much better.

It isn't a straight drop-off or anything. There's a bit of scrubby grass and a rocky outcrop of stone that extends a few dozen feet before jutting out over an abyss. In the darkness, I can't see much of what lies beyond, but it looks to be a steep descent down into a valley, where a river flows through overgrown trees and abandoned homes.

Off in the distance, the first red rays of dawn begin to creep over the horizon.

And that can't be a coincidence, can it? The tug in my chest finally abates, leaving me here, on a stone outcrop, overlooking a steep drop into nothing but air. Water runs far beneath my feet, though, through a valley cloaked in shadow, while the fire of the sun is just beginning to appear.

Stone, Air, Water, Fire, Shadow. All five kinds of dragon stir in my blood. Their magic is what got me here.

The Shadow Queen's Bracer may have rejected me. But that doesn't change who--or what--I am.

Pushing away all of the devastation and loss, I force myself to breathe deeply. Centering myself, I close my eyes.

Focusing on everything that's gone wrong isn't going to help me defeat the Shadow King. My senses are truncated, the easy flow of magic gone. But I can't surrender so easily.

I won't.

I open my eyes.

With one leg, I step back, adopting the stance High Priestess Fang taught me back at the Grand Stone Temple. I work to access the Stone Dragon magic that is my birthright, feeling for the heavy solidity of the rock beneath my feet.

When it fails to respond, I refuse to give up.

There's little heat to work with in the pre-dawn light, but I summon the power of flames, tracing a Fire Dragon sigil against the darkness of the night. I reach out into the vastness of the sky and feel the rush of wind. I try to raise the river, willing the waters to bend to my will.

Beads of sweat break out on my brow.

Over and over again, I fight to access the magic that my mates and I summoned so easily. Every time, I run into an invisible wall, though. The deep bruising in my wrist throbs, and frustrated prickles of dampness rise in my eyes.

The bracer wasn't the beginning and the end of my story. I was more than the bearer of some cool, magical accessory.

Desperation beginning to sink its claws into me, I reach for the dark depths of my magic that once terrified me.

I once hurled balls of purple Shadow at my enemies. I created portals that tore through the fabric of space. I protected myself, my friends and my mates with a ferocity that had me ripping Shadow and Air Dragons out of the sky.

I extend my will toward the receding darkness around me. The edges of Shadows flex and ripple, and for a moment, tingles race up my arm.

I will a ball of Shadow magic into my open palm.

But my hands are empty.

All the despair I held at bay crashes over me at once. I lash out, kicking at the rock with my bare feet. I curl my hands into fists, and I scream.

My dragon's roar lights the darkness, and my cry echoes through the night. It bounces back to me, and all I hear is my failure. I'm nothing, broken, defective--just like everybody always told me I was.

Giving in, I crumple to the ground. Hot tears pour down my cheeks freely now.

"How am I supposed to do this?" I whisper.

Unite the Dragon Kingdoms. Save the world. Defeat the Shadow King.

Without my magic, it's impossible.

But just as I'm about to succumb to the utter hopelessness of it all, a bright golden thread lights in my heart. It's followed by more--vivid blue and brilliant silver and crimson and white.

I look up to find all four of my mates regarding me from just beyond the garden gate.

Quiet, and with absolute confidence, Rafe steps forward. "I don't know," he says, in answer to my whispered question. Fire gleams in his eyes. "But you do it with us, standing by your side."