Page 12 of The Dragon Queen (Ember: Queen Of Dragons #6)

EMBER

When we resume training that afternoon, I place the ring on my finger and say a tiny prayer to the Gods.

But they're not listening.

My grandfather's ring remains inert, and I remain terrible at magic. The disappointment wants to crush me, but it's not as if I really expected much. I do manage to keep a better lid on my emotions. God forbid I have another 'temper tantrum'.

For his part, Rook doesn't treat me any differently. He still rides my ass and tells me to work harder, focus more.

I keep my growl of frustration inside. How much harder can I work? I'm focusing with all of my soul. But I've got nothing.

By the time we call it quits for the day, I'm exhausted. I chug what's left of my water bottle and mop the sweat off my brow.

Amy nudges me, and I try not to be annoyed that she somehow managed to come out of our training session looking dewy and glowing, while I feel like a hot, useless mess.

As she delicately sips her own water, she tips her head toward Rook's retreating form. "So what was all that about?"

"What?"

"Don't pretend you haven't noticed him giving you a super hard time today."

Yeah. I noticed. "We're running out of time."

"It's been, like, three days."

"And we've got, like, less than twenty more," I remind her, mimicking her tone. Instantly, I regret being flippant. I shake my head and scrub a hand down my face. "Sorry, that was really bitchy."

"Kinda, but it's okay." She glances in Rook's direction again. "You guys seemed to be having an intense conversation earlier, too, though. Everything okay?"

I twist the ring around my finger. "Yeah, just--some family drama." I point at the new jewelry. "He gave me this."

She pulls a face. "Not really your style."

"It's got some sort of Shadow Dragon magic in it." Frowning, I drop my hands to my sides. "Or at least it does for him. For me? Bupkis."

"Weird. Though from everything you said about the bracer, I guess magical artifacts sometimes have minds of their own." She shrugs and smiles. "Maybe it'll warm up to you?"

"Maybe." I'm not conceding her point, I'm just tired of talking about it.

Honestly, I'm just plain tired.

It's only been three days, but the days have been grueling and demoralizing.

And the nights...

I suppress a shudder. The strain of being so far away from my mates is taking a toll on my psyche and my body, both. My skin itches, too tight, flashing hot and cold. There's a hunger deep within me that claws with a gnawing ache. My own hands on my flesh beneath the covers when I can't sleep bring momentary relief, but the ravenous pit within me receives no satisfaction.

I clench down inside, trying not to think about how it would feel to fall into my mates' arms. To have my clothes peel away and to be surrounded by all that strong, hot, muscular flesh.

I long for their scents, their kiss, their cocks...

Exhaling hard, I dig my nails into the meat of my palms.

I can't let myself get distracted, missing them like this.

But also, how can I not?

If my mates were here, they'd take me out of my head with their bodies. And then afterward, they'd curl around me in a delicious, sweaty, post-orgasmic heap. Jianyu would ask insightful questions about the difficulties I'm having with my training, and Rafe would tell me to tell Rook to go to hell. Malik would promise me that I'm good enough, and Storm would remind me who I am.

I miss the sex--naturally. But I also just miss them.

I exhale deeply, forcing myself to unclench my fists.

This separation was my idea. I had faith that our bond was strong enough to handle it, and it is. We're fine--I'm fine.

But I hate it.

My eyes sting and my heart squeezes as I think about another lonely night in that huge room and that huge bed.

As if she can follow my line of thinking, Amy asks, "So, got any plans tonight?"

I try not to sound as despondent as I feel. "Not really. Grab something to eat and try to get some sleep. Maybe hit the library for a bit."

The most rare and magical books were all removed from the castle's library when the Water Dragons evacuated, but it still has a surprisingly vast collection. We've been slowly sorting through it, trying to find any information that could help me regain my magic--or that could lead us to the Crown of Cinders. We haven't had any luck so far, but I'm trying not to lose hope.

Amy fixes me with an appraising look. "Yeah, no."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, a lot has been happening around here while you've been training your ass off and pining over your guys."

I cross my arms and definitely don't sulk when I say, "I haven't been pining."

"Uh-huh, sure." She casts her gaze skyward. "Go get cleaned up, okay? And then meet me in an hour in the courtyard."

"But--"

"Nope." She shakes her head. "I'm not taking no for an answer." Arching a brow, she reminds me, "You know how this goes."

And yeah. This isn't the first time she's insisted on breaking me out of my all-work-no-play rut.

And it probably won't be the last.

"WHOA." I stop in my tracks at the entrance to one of the cellars beneath the castle. "Since when has this been here?"

"Since...yesterday?" Amy guides me forward through the shockingly crowded space. "The old owners of the Dragon's Flagon were bored, so they went exploring and found a few hundred kegs of magically preserved booze and a space big enough to rig up some tables and bam! The Dragon's Flagon II."

I laugh, some of the tension and exhaustion I'd been feeling earlier melting away.

The redecorated cellar is missing some of the charm of Unity's original pub, but it more than makes up for it by being crammed full of at least half the town's refugees.

"Hey, Amy! Hi, Ember!" someone calls.

I turn and wave at a few of Amy's friends I met at trivia night. That seems like it was about a decade ago--how is it possible that it was only a matter of months?

Amy pauses to chat for a second, but then keeps us moving. There's a makeshift bar set up in the middle of the place, and she orders us a couple of pints of whatever's on tap. Drinks in hand, we continue on until we spot Freya, Jett and a few others seated at a chunky, butcher-block table near the back.

As we pass, I can't help but notice whispers, and my ears burn with the weight of stares. More than a few people smile at me, and I smile back. I vaguely recognize most of them; I did live in Unity for a little while before I started my globe-trotting adventures. But way more of them know who I am than vice versa, which makes sense, I guess.

I try to keep a brave face on, but inside, self-doubt is gnawing at me.

"How can everybody be smiling at me?" I murmur as I take a seat. "I got their town ransacked by Shadow Dragons."

"And Air Dragons," Freya reminds me. "Ow!" She fixes Amy with a glare and rubs her shin.

"You saved them from Shadow and Air Dragons," Amy insists.

"That doesn't change the fact that I brought them there."

"Hey." Jett points a finger at me, his tone stern. "No one blames you for that. It's not your fault a horde of sociopathic villains was chasing you."

Huffing out a breath, I draw a line in the condensation on my glass. "I still feel bad about it."

"Well, don't," Amy says, as if it's really that simple. "Anyway, once you kick the Shadow King's ass, it'll all be worth it."

Is that supposed to make me feel better? My stomach churns with yet more guilt and nerves. I take a big gulp of my beer, but it doesn't help to settle me at all.

Freya changes the topic, venting about some issues she's having with a group of wolf shifters who apparently decided that one of the ballrooms would be a good place to have rugby practice and accidentally broke some vase or something. With the focus shifted away from me, I finally start to relax, although I still can't help feeling like everybody's looking at me.

But it's weirdly...not uncomfortable? I may feel guilty about having forced everyone in Unity to flee for their lives, but no one seems angry about it. All the smiles are encouraging. Even supportive.

I've been so intent on preparing for battle that I've squirreled myself away. It's good to get out and see people, out and about and having fun, despite being displaced from their homes, and regardless of the cloud of doom hanging over everybody's heads.

It reminds me why the shifter world is worth the fight.

Brynn and Jimmy and a few of Jianyu and Rafe's friends come over to join us, and before long, we've had to pull together a few extra tables to accommodate the group. I'm right in the middle of it all, and suddenly the crushing loneliness I felt earlier doesn't feel so heavy. I still miss the hell out of my mates, but it's bearable now.

During a break in the conversation, I tap my elbow against Amy's. "Thanks. For getting me to come hang out."

"It's what friends are for." She lifts her glass, and we clink. "But also, you're welcome."

She really is a good friend. And I'm not-so-subtly reminded that maybe I've been less amazing of one. I glance around and scrunch up my brows. "Where's Grace?"

Amy's mouth twists downward, and her gaze shifts off toward the entrance to the cellar. "Off hanging out with Obi and Zahra."

That's...not that unusual. Grace and our Water Kingdom companions hit it off reasonably well.

The way Amy's talking about it, though? That's new.

"Oh?" My goal is to sound noncommittal--to leave Amy the opening to talk about it if she wants to, but not to press. But the other day, I thought I saw Grace flinching away from Amy's touch. At the time, it seemed weird, but paired with the sourness in Amy's expression now, I can't help but feel like something's up.

"Yeah." Amy blinks a couple of times. And then she drops her head onto my shoulder. "I don't know what's going on."

I wrap my arm around her and give her a gentle squeeze. My heart sinks in sympathy. "Wanna talk about it?"

"Not sure what to say." She shrugs and sniffles. "Everything seemed fine, right? We said the L-word, I turned into a dragon, we had amazing 'yay, we didn't die' sex after the battle."

I chuckle at the TMI, rubbing her arm in encouragement.

She continues. "But then, after that, it feels like she started pulling away. Like, we're still together and all, and the orgasms are still excellent."

"Uh-huh." I raise a brow.

"But it's different. She doesn't want to hang out as much, and she acts weird when I touch her. It's been okay since I've been busy training with you and Rook and my mom. But I can't help feeling like something's just off."

"I'm sorry." My stomach twists. I wish there was something I could do. "It's been a really stressful time? Or maybe you're just settling in?"

That's a thing, right? The honeymoon period doesn't last forever. Eventually, you need to have other friendships and find your own space, even in an awesome relationship.

Not that I would know. I was with Storm forever, but we never got to spend much time together, what with keeping our attachment a secret and all. We had no choice but to have lives outside of the bubble.

As for me and my mates now?

I suck in a rough breath.

The honeymoon period hasn't faded a bit. Maybe that's because we're Fated Mates; maybe it's because between Shadow Dragon attacks and kidnappings, we haven't had a second to breathe.

But I still want them with a yearning that burns me through. Being away from them is torture.

Will we ever settle in?

My heart clenches.

Will we live long enough to even have a chance to?

I exhale deeply. Those are all questions for another day, and right now, I'm trying to console my friend.

She buries her face in my shirt. "I don't know. Life has been kind of a whirlwind. But I still don't understand why she's pulling away."

"I'm sure there's an explanation." I tug her in closer. "You guys will figure it out."

"I hope so," she agrees. But there's a doubt in her voice that hurts. "I love her so much."

I kiss the top of her head. "I know you do."

But when the entire world is conspiring against you, what if love just isn't enough?