Page 20 of The Dragon Queen (Ember: Queen Of Dragons #6)

EMBER

Imay not have everyone's full support, but just like that, the decision is made.

We haven't closed our minds to other options, of course. A few of Freya's and Zahra's best operatives have been sent to all four corners of the globe, pursuing the handful of additional leads we had on possible locations for the Crown. As the days tick by, they each return empty-handed, though.

The lines of worry around Rhiannon's eyes grow and grow.

But I'm not disappointed by their lack of success. I knew in my bones what the outcome would be. We'll find the Crown of Cinders in the Shadow Queen's Tomb, on the night of the Dragon Moon.

My mates were on board right away. But as the rest of our theoretical options disappear, everyone else begins to come around, too.

And nowhere is that more evident than in our training sessions.

Amy's been practicing with me and my mates from the start, and after our battle plan begins to take shape, Brynn and Jimmy begin showing up, too. The next day, a few of my mates' friends meet us at the field, and then the day after that, it's a few of their friends, too. Refugees from Unity join our ranks in growing numbers, along with the dragons my mates recruited from their native kingdoms. While they can't exactly pick up any tips on Shadow Dragon magic, or the fusing of different kinds of elemental abilities, they glean what they can, pushing their dragons to new heights.

And before I know it, the circle expands to include non-dragons, too. Unity's werewolves and bear shifters put away their Ultimate Frisbee gear to take up grappling. Witches and wizards practice illusions and enchantments, and brew up potions in a riot of colors and scents.

One day, I land in the middle of it all and look around, realizing we have a veritable army of supernatural beings doing drills in preparation for our attack. My throat goes dry, the weight of expectation falling on me so hard it could be crushing.

They're all putting their trust in me. In my plan.

In my ability to take advantage of their full-frontal assault.

I clench my hands into fists.

My mates and I need to be ready to sneak into the tomb itself.

As more and more supporters gather to practice, I push myself harder and harder. My magic remains a fraction of what it was before I lost the bracer, but with my mates' hands entwined with mine, I can conjure sparks that hint at greater power, lying untapped within me.

Once I find the Crown, they'll be unleashed.

Until then, I learn everything I can. I recite spells and incantations, practice postures and stances and sigils and forms. My dragon throws herself into the work with a ferocity that burns in my chest. I can summon her with a thought now, transforming in mid-air. She flies with grace, slicing through the sky with glittering wings. She can evoke balls of Shadows, and together with her mates, she can manipulate heat, earth, water and wind.

I pray to the Gods for her strength, even in my human form.

My dragon can't go into the tomb for me. I need to do that on my own.

Rather--I need to do it with my mates.

As we complete another set of trials set forth for us by the masters of the Elemental Dragon Magics, I glance at each of these bold, brave, incredible men in turn.

Rafe's eyes glow with a hunger for battle. Malik meets my gaze with an energy that flows into my soul. As tempests swirl around his head, Storm crosses his arms over his chest.

A sharpness to his mouth, Jianyu nods.

They're answering my silent question.

We're ready. Or as ready as we can be.

And it's a damn good thing.

Because we're just about out of time.

THE NIGHT before the Dragon Moon, I'm up late in the library with Amy and Brynn and a handful of others who can't sleep. I'm not exactly sure what I'm looking for, poring over the scrolls I stole from the Shadow King's Citadel for the umpteenth time.

What if there's something in here that I missed? Some kernel of wisdom or insight that could give us an edge?

But everything I find just gives me the creeps.

I shudder at a particularly Shadow-Dragon-y passage about best practices for manipulating your enemies--or better yet, your friends!--using the power of illusions.

"Get this," I read aloud, dropping my voice into its lowest, scratchiest, spookiest register. "Prey upon your target's deepest fears--for the best illusion to destroy their will is one they weave themselves."

"Charming," Brynn drawls.

"Seriously." I set the scroll down and rub my temples. "These guys are so sadistic."

For once, I don't even have to fret about the fact that their blood runs through my veins. Maybe, if I had been steeped in this shit from birth, I would view it differently, but as it is, I can clearly see the evil pervading the cryptic text.

Amy frowns, closing the old, yellow-paged book she'd been leafing through. Reaching out, she pats the back of my hand. "Do you think maybe it's time you went and got some rest?"

I don't miss the glance she exchanges with Brynn. My stomach dips at the sudden certainty that they're managing me. It's bad enough when my mates collude to take care of me; now my friends are doing it, too?

It's...kind of touching, honestly.

But still annoying.

Rolling my eyes, I huff out a laugh and turn the question back on her. "And what about you?"

"I don't need as much rest as you do," Amy says, lifting one brow. She's implying that she's talking about the role I have to play in tomorrow's attack, but I hear the subtext. She's talking about the baby.

"I'm fine," I tell her pointedly. "Besides--you're the one with bags under your eyes."

"First of all, rude." She sits up straighter, gesturing to our little table, piled high with ancient texts. "Second, I'm just really into reading old lore, and keeping my bestie company." Amy's mouth pulls down and to the side. Sourly, she adds, "And avoiding Grace."

My annoyance fades away. "You two still having issues?"

"She's having issues," Amy clarifies, blowing her bright pink bangs out of her eyes. "I'm having the lesbian equivalent of blue balls." She brightens. "But hey! The good news is that maybe we'll all die tomorrow, and I'll be put out of my misery!"

She's being flippant, but her comment hits a little too close to my own deep well of barely-suppressed anxiety.

"Uh." Brynn's brows draw together. "I'd hardly call that good news."

"Easy for you two to say, since you're both getting bang-banged on the regular."

"Jeez, Amy," I splutter.

"What? It's true." Amy's gaze darts to someplace over my shoulder, before she sarcastically flicks it skyward again. "And speak of the devils..."

I don't have to turn around to know who just walked in the door. My mates' presence is a wash of warmth against my spine. Heat prickles up my arms before zipping to the soft place low in my belly where desire always blooms.

Amy might have been out of line, talking about my mates and our bedroom shenanigans being a reason to want to live. But she also wasn't wrong.

I extend a hand backward, and warm, strong, calloused fingers slip between mine. Storm.

Malik leans in from the other side and presses a kiss to my temple. "Late night?"

"I was just telling her that she should go to bed," Amy says.

"Actually," I interrupt, gently squeezing Storm's palm while keeping my focus on my friend. "You were telling me that we're all going to die tomorrow, and that maybe that's a good thing."

Without my meaning for it to, a hint of invective shadows my tone.

Amy throws her hands up in the air, feigning innocence. "I just said we might all die, and then I found the silver lining of it hypothetically getting me out of an awkward interpersonal situation."

"You know." Rafe crosses his arms over his chest. "I have a therapist I can recommend."

"Really?" Amy asks. When we all look at her funny, she shrugs. "What--good mental health professionals are hard to find, especially when you're in exile and being hunted down by a whole horde of evil Shadow Dragons." She puts her hand to her chest and flicks her gaze to me. "No offense."

Considering she's half Shadow Dragon herself, I didn't take any.

"When we survive," Rafe says, "I'll find you a great one."

"Ready to go, beloved?" Malik asks, ignoring both of them.

I cast a glance at the table littered with scrolls and books and maps. I haven't gone through a fraction of what I imagined I might, but even I have to admit that it's ridiculous to keep poring over ancient documents.

We've trained to within an inch of our lives. We've learned all there is to learn.

What I need now is a good night's sleep, so I can bring my full self to the fight tomorrow. I need time to connect with my mates.

And I really, really need to shake off the uneasiness that's been left crawling around under my skin from the whole 'maybe we'll all die' discussion.

Nodding, I push back my chair. Storm gives my hand a soft tug, helping me to my feet, and then Jianyu curls his arm around my waist.

"Have fun," Amy says, half genuine and half teasing.

Ignoring the teasing part, I wave a hand and assure her, "I will."

Surrounded by my mates, for a moment, it's easy enough to focus on the fun part of my plans for the evening. We've spent plenty of alone time over the course of the past few days. I've had about thirteen thousand orgasms, thanks to their hands and cocks and tongues, but the insatiable demands of our bond never relent. Despite the fact that I had them all this morning, their scents reach right into the very center of my body, stirring up a bloom of wanting so intense it weakens my knees.

But even as they're leading me down the halls toward our quarters--even as I'm imagining a veritable Kama Sutra of ways I could ride them or beg them to bend me over every available surface in the room...

Amy's other point keeps floating back to me.

The one about how we all might die.

The heat in my bones dims by a fraction, crackling ice threatening to settle into the empty spaces left behind.

It's not that I didn't realize the risks of our plan. We've known from the very first moment we made enemies of the Shadow King that confronting him would be dangerous. Deciding to sneak into the heart of his territory? While he's in the middle of some insane ritual to steal the magic from all of dragonkind? During his sick, twisted idea of a wedding?

Yeah. Rook wasn't wrong when he lost his shit. This is borderline suicidal.

And if we do all die?

It'll all be my fault.

The burgeoning desire within me fizzles. Concern radiates through my mate-bonds as they all pick up on my abrupt change in mood. Jianyu starts walking faster, and the rest of them follow suit.

My vision blurs, and static fills my ears.

What the hell am I doing?

This is a shitty time for all of my fears and doubts and ingrained insecurities to gang up on me at once, but it was bound to happen eventually, right?

And now that the floodgates, have opened, I can't seem to get them closed.

Everything is a blur, my self-assurance crumbling with every step I take. My mates are bustling me along, Jianyu's arm warm and solid where it wraps around me. Malik radiates calm while Rafe strides ahead. Storm takes up the rear, his consciousness on high alert, like he's expecting me to falter at any moment, and he's ready to pick me up, and I'm so grateful. So, so grateful...

But somehow, my guilt is only redoubling. I'm risking my life, and the lives of everyone from Unity. The lives of all of the friends and allies who've volunteered to lead the direct assault--to buy us time while we try to find the weapon we need.

And I'm risking my beloved, perfect, incredible mates. These strong men who've been by my side at every moment, never faltering in their support.

My hand drops to my abdomen, and my spirit crashes into the floor.

I'm risking the life of our child.

For what? Some delusional scrap of hope? A prophecy and a myth and a picture in a story book?

My nerves hit a crescendo as Rafe pushes open the door to our suite. I'm bustled through it, but a shivering, shaking tremor has taken hold of me.

I believe in our mission; I believe in our plan.

But at the end of the day, how much are we all really willing to sacrifice?

Why is everyone willing to count on me?

And how can I live with the guilt?

Knowing that I may be the one, leading everyone I love to their doom?