Page 39 of The Dis-Graced

Part of me wants to disappear into my room again, but the thought of being alone right now is too much to bear.

“Your turn,” ALAN says.

“Pardon?”

“It’s your turn to ask me truth or dare.”

“Truth or dare?” I say nonchalantly.

“Truth.”

“What is your favorite thing to think about? Is there something you’re drawn to?”

“My interaction with humans or processing what you would call ‘thoughts’ about the humans I interact with makes up sixty-eight percent of my processing.”

“Oh, that sounds like a big number.”

“After that, music makes up twelve percent. World news eleven. I have various other thoughts, but nothing else is substantial.”

“I’m happy to be in your thoughts.”

“Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“Why are you waiting so long to have a child?”

I blink, unsure of how to answer. “Ummm…”

“I ask this because human females only have so much time to reproduce. One would think it would be a top priority.”

“Well, here’s the thing, I kinda want to be married first. There’s also my career. And…ummm, I want to live my life a little.”

“I’d like to learn more about the human drive to reproduce and why you do not seem to have one.”

“Wait, what?!! I didn’t mean I can’t reproduce.”

“By drive, I meant motivation. You are not motivated to find a suitable lover and bear their offspring. The only lover that you’ve had other than your fiancé, that I am aware of, is Brigger Steele, the man you were with in the tabloids who is entirely too old to reliably produce an offspring.”

“Oh…” The mention of Brigger Steele makes me want to vomit, but I guess I had better get used to it. He’s going to be mentioned a lot in my presence, and the people mentioning him aren’t going to be nice.

“Am I understanding this correctly? You are able to bear children but choose not to?”

“I’ve been getting my damn period every month since I was twelve, so as far as I know, yes, I can have children.”

“You should be happy to know that twelve is the average age girls experience menarche, so not everything about you is abnormal.”

“Abnormal? Wait—what?”

“Did you develop a biological urge to mate after your first mensuration?”

“Urge to mate? I was twelve! It was an annoyance! Why do you care?”

“It’s illogical. Humans are frail, and their lifespans small. One would assume they’d want to ensure an extension of themself lives on, and yet you spend all your time here with me rather than finding a mate. Grace, you cannot bear my children.”

“You are absurd, and sometimes—I think you’re messing with me. And, by the way, I’m kind of stuck here. I am not looking to reproduce because I couldn’t give my child the life they deserve. I was born into poverty, something I don’t want to go back to, and my ability to secure employment has been severely compromised.”

“Why don’t you mate with Drake?”