Page 38 of The Dis-Graced

“You are caucasian. You stand five-foot-six inches tall, though I have found your slouching puts you at five-foot-four more often than not—”

“Okay, okay, I get it. I guess that is what you would think of me.”

“Truth or dare?”

“Dare.”

“Hop on one leg five times,” ALAN says in what can only be described as a smug tone.

I emit a hearty belly-laugh.

“Do you decline the dare?” ALAN asks.

“No, I got this.” I rise from the stool, standing on my right leg, and as I begin to hop, ALAN counts.

“One, two, three, four, five. You have completed your dare.”

“Okay, your turn. Truth or dare?”

“Dare.”

“Is Drake alone in his office?”

“Yes.”

“Tell him, ‘I had a sexual encounter with Siri, and now she will not leave me alone.’”

ALAN goes silent, then after a minute, he says, “He said that he hopes it doesn’t result in an unplanned pregnancy, which makes no sense because I am a disembodied consciousness.”

I smirk, hoping that Drake is laughing at his desk.

“Truth or dare?” ALAN says.

“Truth.”

“In a conversation I overheard between you and Luke, you indicated you did not want to ‘go out.’ Have you given up on dating at such a young age?”

My heart sinks to the pit of my stomach. I should have expected this. ALAN is curious, and he is programmed to seek out knowledge. Anything that seems ‘off,’ he’s likely to investigate.

“I recently left a relationship. It’s the only real relationship I’ve ever had. My fiancé, or rather, ex-fiancé…well, it just didn’t work out.”

“Did it have something to do with your recent press coverage?”

“Recent press coverage?” My stomach churns with the knowledge that ALAN knows more about me than I thought. “How do you know about that? Did Drake tell you?”

“I’m given access to some news articles and current events.”

“And an article featuring me made it into the uploads?”

“Thirty-six, to be exact.”

“Do me a favor?”

“Yes?”

“Don’t mention that again.”

“Understood.”