Page 144 of The Defender

I swallowed. I hadn’t thought of it that way.

“Like I said, I miss her too. She’s my daughter,” Coach continued gruffly. “But not letting her absence impact your performance is the best way to get through your separation. You can wallow off the pitch as much as you’d like. But when we’re in that stadium, or any other stadium, you have to bring your A game. Use the situation to your advantage. Take all that frustration and channel it into the game. Control your emotions. Don’t let them control you. Understand?”

I nodded, my throat tight. “I won’t let you down.”

“Good.” He dismissed me. “Get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I returned to the changing room, where Seth finally worked up the courage to approach me. He’d really come into his own since he first joined the club, and I was glad to see he was becoming more comfortable with the players. During his first month as kit manager, he could barely look any of us in the eye.

“Some of the players and I are headed to the Angry Boar soon,” he said tentatively. “Do you want to join us? It might take your mind off…you know.”

I shook my head. “I have a call with Brooklyn later, but thanks for the invite. Have fun.”

“Okay.” He looked a little disappointed, but he didn’t pressure me into going. “Say hi to her for me.”

“I will.”

I grabbed my duffel and headed for the exit. Spike was waiting for me in the corridor. We walked to my car, which he’d upgraded with new armored protection, and we drove back to the hotel in silence.

We hadn’t bonded much since I hired him, but he’d been the most competent candidate for the job. I normally tried to befriend everyone I worked with, but I was okay with the current state of our relationship as long as he kept the intruder at bay.

Spike did a customary sweep of my suite before I turned in for the night. Once he gave me the all clear, I locked the door, and he retreated to his room next to mine.

I checked the clock. It was eleven in the morning in Chicago. I still had some time left before our scheduled call during her lunch break.

I checked my emails while I waited. Lloyd had sent me the final Zenith paperwork, but I left it unread. I was too exhausted to comb through legal documents at the moment.

Instead, I indulged in the unhealthy habit of scrolling through old photos of Brooklyn and me.

Us kissing beneath a sprig of mistletoe during the holidays.

Us posing on Tower Bridge like tourists, our arms wrapped around each other’s waists.

Us curled up on her sofa, her head on my shoulder as we grinned at the camera.

A familiar, pervasive loneliness stole through my chest. As much as I loved my team and my sister, they weren’t a substitute for Brooklyn. She was the only person who made me feel whole, and her absence left a hollow ache where her presence used to be.

We talked every day, either on the phone or via text. We video called each other whenever we could, though our work hours and the time zone difference meant that didn’t happen as often as I would’ve liked.

I was committed to making it work long distance. Even if she moved farther away to the West Coast or even Hawaii, I’d still find a way to be with her. But fuck, I ached for her more than I thought I ever could.

I checked the time again. Half an hour left until her lunch break.

I scrolled through my phone’s album again and paused on a photo of us at Asher and Scarlett’s holiday party. It was one Adil had taken of us kissing. Everyone around us was cheering and laughing, and we looked so damn happy I almost forgot she wasn’t a half-hour drive away anymore.

The ache behind my ribs intensified.

Before I could stop myself, I switched to the web browser and looked up Chicago’s football club.

Just in case. Just to see.

CHAPTER 41

BROOKLYN

“This is your meal plan for the week. I upped your carbohydrate intake, but otherwise it’s similar to what we’ve been doing so far. Once we get to regionals, I’ll cut out any high-fat and high-fiber foods that are harder to digest. We don’t want you having any stomach discomfort during the competition.” I slid a packet with the pertinent information across the counter. “This is a hard copy for backup. I’ve also updated everything on the nutrition app so you have it on your phone.”

“Thanks.” Haley gave me a grateful smile. “You always think of everything.”