Page 140 of The Defender

I’d never been the type to center big life decisions around a guy. When one of my friends backed out of a semester abroad in France so she could stay with her boyfriend, I’d told her she was out of her mind. When another friend moved across the countryto be with someone she’d only known for a month, I’d sworn never to do the same.

But now, I understood how they felt—like the entire world hinged on one person, and my heart would crack wide open if I walked away from him. It was the sheer, devastating agony of choosing between myself and the person who felt like home.

“You won’t be leaving me.” Vincent’s thumb brushed my cheek again. It came away wet, and it was only then that I realized I was crying. “I’ll be here, just a text or phone call away. We’ll talk so often you’ll want to block me after two weeks.”

I laughed again through a sob.

What a mindfuck this all was. It was proof that life could change in the blink of an eye, and that we could get what we wanted but still feel like we were losing everything that mattered.

Vincent made some good points, but at the end of the day, it was my decision.

Luckily, I had a few hours left before my final deadline.

Instead of responding, I wound my arms around Vincent’s neck and kissed him. I poured everything I couldn’t say into the kiss—all the longing, all the heartache, all the promises I couldn’t voice without shattering into a million pieces.

And later, when his body slid over mine and he whispered my name like a prayer, I held on tight and pretended, for one desperate moment, that this would last forever.

The sky was still a deep, velvety indigo when I woke up a few hours later.

Vincent’s arm was draped over my waist, his body strong and warm against mine. I basked in the comfort for a second before Igently disentangled myself from his embrace and slipped out of bed as quietly as possible.

He remained fast asleep, his torso rising and falling with steady breaths. A sharp pang snaked through my chest as I gazed at him.

I’d never imagined I would find someone who made me feel the way he did, like I was finally whole andseen. Like every broken part of me was just a little softer and more at peace when I was around him.

I’d certainly never thought that person would be the one standing right in front of me, waiting for me to realize he’d been there all along.

Don’t sound so happy to see me, buttercup. I’ll get the wrong idea.

Let’s see who’ll cave and kiss the other first.

I’d lose every single fucking bet in the world if it meant I could be with you.

Ifanythinghappened to you, I wouldn’t survive.

A burn radiated through my chest. I turned away, my throat tight, and slipped into the suite’s sitting room, where I opened my laptop and composed an email to the Moores.

I read and reread it, making sure I worded my response exactly right.

Then, before I could change my mind, I hit send.

CHAPTER 40

BROOKLYN

Two weeks later

“I can’t believe you’re really leaving us.” Scarlett gave me a fierce hug, her voice thick with emotion. “This feels like way too soon.”

“If you want cold, gray weather, we have that right here. You don’t need to go to Chicago,” Carina added. Her voice was steadier, but her eyes were red when she hugged me after Scarlett pulled away.

I laughed through the lump in my throat. “If Chicago isn’t gray or cold enough for me, I promise I’ll come back.” I squeezed Carina tight. “Thank you, guys, for coming to see me off. You didn’t have to do this.”

“Are you kidding? We wouldn’t miss this for the world.” Scarlett gave me a sad smile. “We’ll miss you.”

The lump expanded. “I’ll miss you too.”

Great. Now I was the one crying in the middle of the airport.