Page 136 of The Defender

She gnawed on her bottom lip. “Okay. Pros: I’ll have a job with an amazing salary, benefits, and creative freedom. I really like Derek and Haley, and working for them will be a huge gold star on my résumé. They’re almost guaranteed to take my career to the next level. Cons: I’ll have to move to Chicago. Its winters are brutal, and I hate the wind. It also means I have to leave London, my dad, my friends…” Her voice caught on a whisper. “And you.”

Her words settled between us on a heavy cloud of silence. The heater hummed in the background, the only sound in the room besides our breathing. Even the rush hour traffic outside had gone eerily quiet, like the world knew we were teetering on the edge of an abyss and was holding its breath too.

Don’t go. I need you. I can’t live without you.

The words threatened to break free from the crack in my chest.

The selfish part of me wanted to let them out. She could easily find another job in London…but could she find another job working for someone like the Moores?

Brooklyn had spent months agonizing over the future of her career. She gave up a sure thing at Blackcastle to pursue a better fit, and she’d finally found it. If I truly cared about her, how could I stand in her way?

“I told them I’ll think about it, but I’m going to say no.” She squared her shoulders. “I can’t leave London. I’ll find another job here. Now that I know what I want, it shouldn’t be that hard.”

“Maybe not, but this is a big deal. Take time to think about it and don’t make an impulsive decision.” The words scraped past my throat like razor blades. “Whatever you end up choosing, I don’t want you to regret it down the road.”

Brooklyn’s eyes shimmered. “I’m sorry again. The timing couldn’t be worse.”

“I told you, you don’t need to be sorry.” The corner of my mouth lifted. “I’d rather get all the bad news at once. It’s easier than getting shit on a little bit every day.”

She let out a small, choked laugh. “In that case, I have one more thing to tell you. I didn’t make it to ISNA’s final round.”

My gut twisted. I knew how much she’d wanted that prize. “Shit. I’m so fucking sorry.”

“It’s okay.” She gave me a wan smile. “I’ve had a week to get over it, and honestly, I didn’t submit the best application. I wassofocused on the ISNA prize because it gave me a purpose when I didn’t have other goals. But now that I’ve figured out what I want to do in my career, it hurts a little less.”

I squeezed her hand, my chest burning with all the things I couldn’t fix. All I could do was hold her tight and hope that was enough. “When did you find out?”

“Last Friday at the pub. You’d just gotten the Zenith deal, and I didn’t want to be a buzzkill.”

“Brooklyn.” I stared at her, my tone leaving no room for argument. “You can never be a buzzkill. No matter what news you get or when you get it, you can tell me. I could’ve just won another fucking World Cup, and I’d still want to know if something big happened with you. Do you understand?”

She nodded, her eyes bright with emotion again.

“Say it.”

“I understand,” she whispered.

“Good.” I pulled her close and kissed her forehead. My heart felt like a blade had cleaved it in half—partly for what she’d lost, and partly for what we might lose come Monday night. But that was three days away. Until then, I could hold her and pretend everything was alright, if only temporarily. “Je serais toujours là pour toi, mon coeur. Quoiqu'il arrive.”

CHAPTER 38

VINCENT

I need help cheering Brooklyn up

Adil

Damn, you fucked up already? That has to be a record

I didn’t fuck up

Why are you even here?

Adil

…I started this chat. I invited you to this chat!

You’re supposed to be on a digital detox