Page 9 of The Condemned (Echoes from the Past #6)

“I do understand, but that doesn’t mean I will stand by and support this lunacy.

I found you half-dead on the floor of that tomb in New Orleans.

I died a thousand deaths while I waited for the doctors to find the fetal heartbeat to see if our baby had survived and if you were going to be all right.

And then I had to explain to a four-year-old why the woman she’d come to love and trust was nearly murdered only a few months after her mother died in a car crash.

I allowed your drug-addicted brother to get away with taking Emma without permission, and then I stupidly went along when you decided to hire him as entertainment for Emma’s birthday party.

Well, we all know how that turned out. I thank God every day Emma didn’t ingest the heroin she found. ”

“I never meant for those things to happen,” Quinn cried. It sounded horrible when put like that, as if it had all been her fault.

“No, you didn’t, but they happened anyway because when it comes to your dysfunctional family, you seem unable to think clearly.”

“Tell me how you really feel, why don’t you!” Quinn exclaimed, using sarcasm to mask her hurt.

“I am telling you how I really feel because I’m fighting for my life here, my future. This is where I draw the line.”

“What are you telling me?”

Gabe handed her the bottle. “I need some air. Please feed the baby.”

Gabe turned on his heel and walked out of the room, then out of the flat, leaving Quinn quivering with guilt and shame.

She wanted to be angry, to hate him for the things he’d said, but he had been right about each and every one.

He could have mentioned a few other incidents, but he’d kindly abridged her catalogue of misjudgments.

Quinn lifted the baby out of his crib and held him close, her tears anointing his downy black hair.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered as she kissed his silky cheek. “I’m really sorry. I’ll be a better mum, I promise. I’ll never let you down again.”

Quinn fed and changed Alex, then sat down on the sofa, her head in her hands.

It was another hour before Gabe finally returned.

He looked grim, and his face was covered with a sheen of perspiration.

He didn’t often exercise, but he must have been jogging the whole time he was gone, something he did to let off steam.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his expression sheepish. “I never meant to be cruel.”

“You weren’t.” Quinn walked into his arms and pressed her face to his chest. His heart was racing. She didn’t know if it was due to the exercise or to stress, but it didn’t matter. “Are we okay? You won’t leave me?”

“I was never the one who was leaving.”

Gabe leaned down and kissed Quinn. The kiss was soft and tender and full of emotion, and she melted into his arms, thankful that he still loved her despite everything she’d put him through.

“I know you’re hurting, but running off to Afghanistan is not the answer, and you’d know that if you gave yourself time to think. I love you, Quinn, and I love our life, and I will fight with everything I’ve got to protect it.”

“You won’t have to. I’m not going anywhere,” she muttered into his chest.

“Now, I’m going to take a shower and head into the office. Will you still be here when I come back?” Gabe asked. He was joking, but there was an underlying note of worry in his voice .

“Yes,” Quinn replied, smiling guiltily. “I will be here, today and always. You needn’t worry.”

Quinn waited until Gabe left to call Rhys. Thankfully, he wasn’t in a meeting and promptly took her call.

“Quinn, how are you?” His voice was filled with concern, which made her feel a little better.

She sighed. “Gabe and I had a massive row this morning,” she confessed. “He threatened to leave me if I went to Afghanistan to look for Jo.”

“I would tell you you’re insane to even suggest such a thing, but I’m sure Gabe did a very thorough job of berating you. I certainly hope you saw sense and abandoned this crazy scheme.”

“I have, but I can’t stop thinking about Jo, Rhys. How can I go on with my life as if nothing has happened when she’s out there somewhere, possibly hurt, or even dead?”

“Quinn, I’ll go to Kabul,” Rhys suddenly announced.

“What? Are you mad?” Quinn demanded.

“I have a press pass. I can go just about anywhere, and people will answer my questions because I’m employed by a legitimate news outlet. I can find out what happened to Jo and hopefully bring her back.”

“Rhys, that’s an absolutely terrible idea. Why would you do that? Why would you put your life on hold and rush off to a country at war to look for a woman you barely know?”

“First of all, I have no life just now, so there isn’t much to put on hold.

I look for things to keep me from going home.

I can’t bear the silence, or the emptiness I feel when I walk through the door.

My daughter would have been born two months from now, but instead, all I can do is stare at the picture of the scan on the fridge, because that’s all I have left of her.

The bottom dropped out of my world, so perhaps I need to focus on someone else for a while. ”

“And second?”

“And second, I don’t have to know Jo; I know you.”

“And that’s enough of a reason for you to fly off to Afghanistan?” Quinn smiled through her tears as she tried to understand Rhys’s sudden eagerness.

“Yes, that’s enough of a reason. I can’t stand to see you suffer.

I’d go mad with grief if Owain went missing, so I can understand your pain.

Gabe is an only child; he’s never experienced that bond between siblings.

Look, Quinn, I’ll make you a deal. You work on this new case and give it your full attention.

I will go to Kabul and leave no stone unturned to find Jo. What do you say?”

“Rhys, I won’t knowingly send you into danger.”

“You’re not sending me. I’m volunteering. Will you take up the reins of the program while I’m gone?”

“On one condition. If you don’t find Jo within a fortnight, you will return and give up this mad scheme.”

Rhys thought about that for a moment. “All right. I agree.”

“When will you go?”

“As soon as I can make the arrangements.”

“Thank you, Rhys,” Quinn said softly.

“You’re welcome.”